Sex in our vows?

So after reading all this... What is your choice?.. LMA0

Judith....I am glad I can give you a chuckle.

Re being in a pre-nup....sometimes, when you are dealing with people who have serious money(The family law firm I worked in was in the Main Line of PA), all kinds of stupid things can be put in a pre-nup. I have seen it in conjunction with clauses about adultery. Whether or not it is enforceable, is an entirely different conversation.

Labake....I am officially envious.

Unless OP turned off her WW email, she has 127 new messages...now 128

Yikes Jennifer, that would totally suck.

@Carole M (a.k.a "old tart"): I can definitely relate to that! I got out of estates law after spending incredible amounts of legal research and analysis on developing an ironclad trust for the benefit of four dogs. The document was a masterpiece--but I decided I had better things to do with my life. LOL

Is this even real? lol.

What happens if you have a baby and can't have sex for a few weeks, vows broken, do you then consider a divorce?

I haven't read most of the other comments but it's in extremely bad taste. My FH and I don't have sex all that often but I certainly don't love him any less because he can't or doesn't "perform" so many times per week. I love him more for being honest with me. I would never want that kind of information about my relationship out in a church in front of my closest friends and family. It's just distasteful, like announcing your not happy with your soon to be husband sexually and that's a very private conversation.

I think it's very distasteful . Not a thing to share at a wedding in front of everyone . That's something you should share between the two . And to have him to commit to having sex a certain amount of times a week takes the fun out sex and it turns into a chore

If your families are the kind of family that would just laugh about it, then I would. But making your man promise to do that is kind of weird. At my mom's wedding, she promised that she would only use her vibrator when he was at a bike rally and he promised he would only stare at girls when they're on the backs of harleys. Butmy family thinks stuff like that is hilarious. Personally, I wouldn't became my fiance's family is a bunch of prudes. But, if you think you're family will laugh about it later or even then, do it.

On a side note. Making him promise sex is a little weird. Personally, we just let it happen. And I'm not gonna be making my man promise anything about sex.

To me marriage is a covenant not a contract..in a contract you demand your rights and find loop holes if they are not fulfilled.marriage isn't a business deal where you're only required to keep your end of the deal if the other party keeps their end. Business deals are based on contracts, but marriage is based on a covenant. When two people get married, they enter into a covenant. That means that both commit to keep their promise regardless of whether the other keeps theirs.with that being said if there was any kind of abuse or unfaithfulness i would be out the door..but i would never require my partner to commit to a sex schedule of any sort..that is just totally unrealistic.anyway thats just my view on it

I haven't been on since last night and reviewed this post, I stand by my jokes and my everything I said. I'm usually very respectful and nice. I've defended people before on here. If she would have ever came in and said "That really upset me" or ANYTHING at all I would have stopped. I honestly feel like this post is fake or she knew before she wrote it how ridiculous it was and walked away from it. She is 29 on her profile.. not a child. I am not a mean person Julie and if you think I made jokes at your expense I did. I didn't want to hurt you in any way. I just can not take your question seriously and in the future do not plan to judge you from it. I just logically do not understand how this can be a serious question at your age and knowing marriage vows can be broken. I hope you get your "needs" met and your wedding goes well but I suggest leaving out anything pertaining to sex in your vows. Welcome to Wedding Wire, real or not I hope you post more. Best wishes.

Cant believe this is still going lol...

Either we've scared her, pissed her off, or she's a troll. Dont want to assume the 3rd, tho as one of the ladies said, some of her threads are questionable...

I'm wondering what she's been thinking reading all this

WOW that is a little TMI, I wouldnt do that. I know where you are coming from with that but you can't expect him to perform on demand. It just wont work.

Unnecessary. Not only do sex drives change but lives change. Have a kid or two and you'll find that sex just doesn't fit in as well as it used to.

I am not here to defined myself, but I will say some of you ladies are a bit over-the-top. Maybe you and your husband or future husbands are not as comfortable with talking about sex as my SO and I are. He is an older man than me, and he knows that him keeping up his drive to keep our love life SPICY is important. There are things he has asked me to vow that maybe you would also find offensive but I will not post here to be an amusement for you.

Oh we're comfortable talking about sex, its something that SHOULD be talked about. But you asked if we would consider it distasteful to put into a public vow with friends and family a requirement for how many times you man 'has' to have sex with you a week, and everyone has overwhelmingly notified you of their opinion, which is yes, it is distasteful. I know its probably not the answer you were looking for, but it is an honest answer, one you have asked for.

Before you write a vow, no matter what kind it is, you need to ask yourself, what will happen if this vow is broken? Is this a vow that is possible to keep? If it is an impossible vow, or one that has many potential obstacles preventing him from keeping it (like sickness and AGE) then you are setting yourself up for failure.

When he breaks it (which will happen as time goes on, for multiple reasons) you will throw it in his face, you will say you promised, you vowed that you would do it this many times. This will only make him feel bad, or he will end up doing it the number of times you want even if he doesn't want to, can't or needs a break. You must have realistic expectations for your vows, so putting aside how distasteful and rude to your guests making that vow public would be, its also not a practical vow to make. Many things could happen in the future which could prevent that vow from being kept, so you would be, in essence, asking him to make a promise to you he can't keep.

You can do what you want but you should think long and hard about the future. If either of you broke a vow would you divorce? Would you throw it in each others faces? Are you capable of keeping up with those questionable vows for the rest of your life? Ask yourself these questions with a clear and open mind.

I have been watching this thread but have not made any comments so far. So here is my two cents.

It is distasteful to put this in your vows in front of family members and friends. Just because you are very comfortable talking about sex with your FH doesn't mean that your grandma wants to hear about it. If its something that you would like for him to promise you in private before the wedding, then that's fine if that's what you both want. Your wedding day and your marriage are built on love, not sex. As some of the other ladies have mentioned, your sex life will vary. I agree that keeping your love life spicy is important, but making him vow to have sex with you X times per week doesn't equal spice. Keeping things spontaneous, surprising each other, and trying new things keeps things spicy. Otherwise, you just get stuck in a routine.

1. I am EXTREMELY comfortable talking about sex with my FH

2. Being comfortable talking about sex has NOTHING to do with putting sex in our vows

3. In the 4 years we've been together, our sex drives have waxed and waned, and not always together! Is this your first long term relationship? Because to anyone that's been in any relationship for a long time will tell you that this is not only an inappropriate vow, but a completely unrealistic one.

4. If he already has a lower sex drive than you, and you know this...why would you want to FORCE him to have sex with you more than he wants??? He'll just be "going through the motions" when he does it when he doesn't feel like it....wow that sounds great (sarcasm)

5. If he is asking you to vow things that are as ridiculous as your "sex twice a week" vow, then the both of you need to re-evaluate the whole GD relationship. Marriage is about compromise, not quotas and requirements. The only thing that's "required" is to.... (con't)