Is it wrong to have a non-legal ceremony? NOW I NEED A BEST MAN TOAST!!!!

I understand why people are confused who haven't been divorced but if you are legally separated you can do pretty much anything you want BUT get legally married. And what exactly is so appalling about this man wanting to marry a woman he's been trying to be married to for 2 years but some woman wont let it happen for whatever reason.

He's been with Sharon for over 2 years and she's the bad guy for wanting to marry her fiance'? Are you serious ladies? He's been with SHARON for 2 years. He has filed. He has been fighting to get divorced and it keeps getting holted. He's moved on the ex wife is insane for holding on for TWO years. Not ONE but TWO when he's engaged.

Being married in the heart is what you guys understand. This man is NOT married in the heart, soul or mind. He's bound to her by PAPER. He owes no one anything.

Sharon I'm sorry you're not wrong for waning to start your life and I'm sorry SOME not all but SOME people are being so crazy about it.

DOUBLE POST.

You don't think the ex-wife can drag it out longer when her husband had a wedding while they're still married? Okay.

It doesn't matter how long they've been together. They should have waited until he was divorced before planning a wedding. They could have been in a committed relationship without getting "married" while he's still married... No one's saying she shouldn't be with the guy.

Tabatha, no one said she was the bad guy, I think we all pretty much just stated that planning a wedding when he wasn't divorced may not have been the smartest idea. She can love him if she wants, no one said she was wrong for loving this man. And it may not be their fault that the wife (and she is still his wife) hasn't signed the papers. But it still doesn't make it right to go through and have her guest think they are legally married.

I wouldn't plan a wedding if I knew FH divorce wasn't final but that is me and I also again this is me wouldn't accept a proposal from him knowing he wasn't divorced yet.

And just because you are separated isn't the same as being divorced trust me you are still treated as though you are married!!! Legal and in every other sense.

Every state is different but in my state and MOST states.. he can have a party, ect or a commitment ceremony of ANY type and she can't do crap. It's a party. If it's not legal no laws are broken and with a TWO YEAR separation most judges will just rush the process anyway.

What exactly is he doing wrong? He's not legally taking on two wives. He's not doing anything but saying.... I LOVE YOU. I WANT TO MARRY YOU.. I am committing to YOU. He says that at home. What can she do while saying it at a party? NOTHING.

Sharon my advice is to use your states "holt and stop clause" you can only hold up a divorce for so long in each state. You can drag it out if you BOTH agree and are fighting over a object or money but to just stay married so he can't move on is actually illegal. If she's just halting it to be mean you guys can end it. Talk to a divorce lawyer.

I don't remember seeing where she said they've been together for two years? I kind of still wonder how long they've been together...

Also, I love that someone brought up that anything he purchases/does could be considered marital property with his LEGAL WIFE. Although, I'm sure there's a loophole there since they are in divorce proceedings, but I wouldn't want to go through the crazy mess THAT would bring up!

Aaand, I doubt the invitations said "Please join us for a party to celebrate our love."

Yeah... the point is that they aren't throwing a commitment or love celebration. They are calling it a wedding. Which it's not. And their guests should know that it isn't.

I keep seeing a lot of defense posts on here.. I don't think OP feels attacked, she absolutely agrees with the advice that's been given... Nobody is saying she's a bad person for wanting to marry a married man (who's obviously not in a commited relationship with his wife- on either party), but to plan the whole wedding and even invite everyone to it before things are finalized is putting the cart before the horse. It's not a moral issue here so much as a legal issue.

Soon2be- I'm talking about the people all up in arms acting like this is a crime. It's no one business if it's legal or not. A wedding is a party and being married in your heart, soul and mind is WAY more important to me than a paper. - Thats my opinion.

HOWEVER.. should she have waited to spend money after the divorce? Yes.

Can the ex wife do anything if he has a ceremony/wedding? No.

I've been separated and MONEY and Legal wise we were married until that day but I was free to do ANYTHING I wanted but get pregnant while I was separated. ANYTHING. And I could get pregnant but the divorce would have been prolonged because of testing to make sure I wasn't taking his child.

@Tabatha - I have already posted the laws for FL where the OP lives. It states that her officiant can't perform a marriage ceremony without a license. If they chose to have a ceremony they must make it's clear that it's not a marriage ceremony to their guests.

The OP was intending to have a marriage ceremony and not tell guests that they weren't legally married, which she can't do.

ETA: I have also posted a link showing NC has the same law, and Celia has confirmed NY and NJ have similar laws so this isn't something unusual here.

Angelina- You're right no one can. What you're failing to see is that the state will see it as a nonlegal ceremony with no licence. No licence = no legal wedding so in that states eyes it will be under the commitment ceremony. It automatically is seen as a "commitment ceremony" under ANY states eyes if it's not a legal marriage. IE see homosexual weddings. They're allowed to write whatever they want on their invitations they can say they're married and call each others wives or husbands.. and yet.. nothing is done. Why? It's not legal. This also goes for the show "sister wives" they can have a zillion "committed" wives and have their own wedding ceremony but legally he's married to ONE. The state can't do much about it unless he's cheating on taxes.

@Tabatha you incorrect. On page one I posted a link from the Florida government that states "If the couple forgets their marriage license or has not yet obtained a license, you may not solemnize the marriage."

Concerning gay marriage, as it has already been stated they can't legally get married so if a ceremony is performed everyone knows it's not legal.

Far as the "Sister Wives" the reason they left Utah and moved to Vegas is because they did fear they were going to be charged with bigamy, authorities actually launched an investigation.

You should of been legally divorced before you set a date to be married. Having people come and celebrate a big day with you to find out later it wasnt even legit may cause hard feeling with some of the guest. My opinion you should not go through with the wedding and try to reschedule everything at a later time when everything is actually legal.

They launched the investigation to make sure he wasn't legally married to children, or legally married to all the women or cheating on taxes. He wasn't so they couldn't do anything. You can have a zillion baby mama's and weddings if it's not legal the state can't do much to you.

As for solemnize- that means make it "formal" he can't sign the paper and the power invested in me by blah blah.. He can still have the ceremony omitting that. Same thing as gay marriage. It doesn't matter of every guest knows her business then the law is her word against theirs.. which wont hold up in court anyway..

At the end of the day this would have been better handled if they would have waited but if she does it, she wont be going to jail and the ex wife wont be able to do much.

I wish Sharon and all of you the best. Peace and love.

Me too Amy. ~ I wish they showed the bickering of the wives more. Sometimes you can feel the tension but you don't see it. lol Darn it. lol

A wedding primarily refers to the ceremony of getting married, which for obvious reasons these people cannot do.

Ahhhhhhh...Sister Wives...my guilty pleasure for sure =)

I'm still not believing this is real though....

I gotta admit I love sister wives too. I don't get it nor I would want to share my husband but I do love watching the show!

I have to say, I think this is wrong but I get the dilemma. I mean how do you go this far in planning without the most important piece of paper?! If and only if your guests are familiar with this situation, crazy ex is causing this problem, then maybe go through with it but it is seriously wrong to tell people you are getting married when you are not. You must tell the truth to your guests. And your friends have every right to not want to be involved in a wedding that is a sham. I get the stress that postponing would cause but would you really want to risk losing friends and causing rifts in family by doing this? This isn't either of yours first marriage and it seems weird to me you would be doing all this just for the party aspect.

I must say.....as an ex wife...sometimes it ain't us that's crazy.....just sayin....