Is it wrong to have a non-legal ceremony? NOW I NEED A BEST MAN TOAST!!!!

The important thing is what your officiant thinks....

I don't know an officiant that would even perform the ceremony while either party is still legally married

She said she will perform the legal ceremony later. She doesn't have a problem with it so I don't see why it is a big deal.

I would simply call it a commitment ceremony and then you could legalize it at a later date. I must say that IMHO it seems a bit overzealous to have planned an entire wedding and spend alot of money prior to having the divorce finalized.

I can understand the other couple's feelings to an extent , it may seem to them that you are intentionally misleading friends and family into believing they are a part of a "legal wedding ceremony". Some people do not like to be manipulated and in their eyes, maybe this is what they feel you are doing. People will probably talk anyway as I'm not sure how your officiant could possibly announce you as Mr & Mrs if you are not legally married...what wording will she use? Couldn't that possibly raise questions?

The big deal is that you're talking about your *wedding* and *getting married*. Because one of you is already married to another person, whatever you're doing on Saturday is not a wedding, and you're not getting married.

So I actually understand your friends' feelings, as Tiedaknot said it may seem misleading. What do your invitations say? And yes, what will they pronounce you in the end?

We had every intention of getting legally married but can't get a license. We will be making it legal as soon as possible and can't afford to have two ceremonies so this is the only one I will have. I think she is making a big deal out of nothing.

I on the other hand beleive that marriage is 90% mental. It's something to be celebrated THEN legalized. I think that the legal aspect of it is a very small part is a very small part of it.

Get yourself married this weekend, then drag the old hag into court.

Getting married should be fun; and as long as both of you are serious (seriously serious) then I hope your friends and family stand behind you on taking your vows and continue to stand behind you when you force the pain in the butt exwife to give the divorce.

Does anyone agree that I need to tell the guests before the ceremony or can I keep this private?

How many guests do you have?

I honestly can't think of a way of making that announcement that would make sense. But if it's a small wedding only with your family and closest friends, then they may already know, right?

I am just curious as to how long have they been separated and why wouldn't you guys want to wait until it was legal? Now all of your guest will know all of your business. If the ceremony isn't legal then what is the purpose of spending all the money when legally you are not married?

We have 144 people coming. We don't want to tell anyone but my friend is making it difficult to keep it a secret. She found out this past weekend and is the only person in the wedding party with an issue.

Is your ceremony is FL? According to this your officiant may not perform the ceremony without the license.

Q: Occasionally, when I am scheduled to perform a marriage ceremony, the bride and

groom forget to bring their marriage license with them to the ceremony. What should I do in this instance?

A: The law states that the official "shall require of the parties a marriage license" before

the solemnization of the marriage. That means that you should take possession of the marriage license before you perform the ceremony. Remember, you must also complete your portion and return the Marriage Record to the county for recording. If the couple forgets their marriage license or has not yet obtained a license, you may not solemnize the marriage.

http://www.flgov.com/wp-content/uploads/notary/q_and_a.pdf

Assuming your profile is correct it sounds like you need to show the above to your officiant and lawyer to get further clarification.

I am also wondering about the ramifications for the divorce proceedings if your FH is "married" in any way, shape or form before his divorce is final. Seems like this might give a spiteful wife plenty of ammo to take her husband to the cleaners during divorce proceedings.

Not that is it any of my business, but why would you schedule and plan for any type of "wedding" knowing your FH was still legally married? Seems like that is just asking for trouble.

I think his wife is going to be uber POed if she finds out there's a "wedding".

I'm more curious about what Celia and Nancy would say, but it seems they're both still snoring.

Wow, this is so complicated Sharon and i am sorry about this....I feel it is already too late to tell guests because I am assuming most of them would have already bought tickets and made plans.

The only 2 options here are clearly: tell the guests it is not a marriage but a celebration of love/etc or just cancel and see if your vendors can work something out for you with a next date. Definitely money would be lost on your side and the guests but I think it is better than the trouble or sour taste this whole thing can bring up in the future.

Sorry about it again.

Technically if you are not getting married you can't sell it as such, it's like the people that pretend they are soldier but are not... It sounds very sketchy that this divorce hasn't been finalized. Sounds like the money should be going toward a good lawyer and not a wedding. It sucks... But as a guest I'd be infuriated to find out I went to your wedding to spend your big day with you and all it was is just a big party with you a white dress. Weddings are celebrating legal marriage, and unfortunately you will not be legally married.

Be careful, if the soon to be ex spouse is being spiteful, she might use this "Wedding" against him. There are still legally married.

I am sorry this ex-wife is acting so immature. Now that you think about it, do you not wish you had not gone this far without a divorce? Now you only have 5 days to do the right thing. I understand you want other peoples input, however you know in your heart what is right. Do want to lie to these people? Are you just trying to make them think you are married? Or do you just want the world to know you love each other and are going to spend the rest of your life together. You will have to be honest with your yourself and your guest or you lie. What you do depends on who you are in your soul. You know right from wrong. . Either way I wish you the best.

I guess its difficult for me to wrap my mind around the fact that you planned the wedding knowing that your future husband was still married?! Also I cannot believe that your officiant would even agree to do the ceremony knowing that your future husband is still married and the reason you couldn't get a marriage license is because your future .husband is still married