Is it wrong to have a non-legal ceremony? NOW I NEED A BEST MAN TOAST!!!!

P.S. If you don't sign marriage license or have yourself pronounced man and wife you have done nothing ILLEGAL. Signing is bigamy and pronouncing it is FRAUD

I would feel very misled if I was a guest to answer the original question. And if I was a part of your wedding party I don't think I want to participate in something that wasn't what it was intended to be and could be misleading to others

OK, I've been up for hours, but just now saw this post!

My uncle planned a small second marriage. By the day of the wedding, his divorce papers had not arrived. So, he stood at the front of the church and announced to everyone that the wedding ceremony had to be postponed, but the reception would go on as planned. Then everyone went to the reception venue and partied. He and my new aunt got married shortly thereafter once the divorce papers arrived.

I think Sharon's officiant may be planning to do a commitment ceremony -- not mentioning marriage, husband, or wife (such as same gender couples get in states where they can't get a marriage license). Then the officiant will make it legal when the divorce papers arrive.

Perfect plan Nancy T. And i agree that is the right way to do things. Maybe a little embarrassing however I personally believe guest will respect both of you as to the alternative of not telling, things could get nasty.

Well there is another option from Nancy....

I did one wedding with a similar circumstance. At the beginning, I read a VERY CLEAR statement that although we wanted this ceremony to be a legal marriage, it could not be that at the time. We made is absolutely certain that everyone knew this was not a legal wedding and the language we used focused on commitment, love and togetherness. The point is that everyone knows this is not a wedding, in the legal sense of the word.

As officiants, we're exposed to the liability of marrying people who are already married; there could be fraud involved (and there is usually money involved). I don't know any officiant who will perform anything that's remotely close to appearing as a marriage without a license. This isn't just a ceremony, it's a legal, regulated contract

When it comes to divorces, it is completely impossible to predict a timeframe and honestly, no one should plan a wedding unless that document has been completely executed. Ex's are very unpredictable when it comes to this

As Celia said. You're still telling the guests. You cannot just hide the fact it's not a real marriage.

Also in most states or counties, signing the papers is only the first step. Once signed a court date must be assigned in order to appear before the judge to finalize. If FL is anything like GA, the court date is usually only one day out of the month. So if she signs today, it could be January before the next court date is available to finalize the divorce.

Thank you, all. The friend wants to talk to me tonight. I think I am going to just do what I am doing and hope she is not going to be spiteful and tell everyone. I would hate to pay all that money and have no one show up.

As a guest at your wedding I would be disgusted that you're hiding this. I would suggest that you be up front and honest... It doesn't matter what money you've spent on it if its a fraud.

I agree 100% with Michelle R.

Ditto @MichelleR and @FutureMrs.Chatmon

You are doing something illegal; you're putting on a wedding without a license. In NJ, when I say you're married, you are. I don't know about all states, but I would suspect that many of them follow suit.

Agree with the above. Don't try to talk your friend into doing something she isn't comfortable and don't believe that lawyer. That lawyer is wrong.

Alrighty then! Good luck, hope you keep your friends and your officiant keeps her license. Also really, really hope for your sake that the WIFE doesn't show up and steal your thunder!

WHY in the world can you not just be honest and upfront about it, go through the ceremony as a "commitment" or "celebration of our love" ceremony and continue with the reception as planned??? You are not out any money that way, you still get a ceremony and you will not be labeled a liar should the truth come out later!....

Please seriously, explain why you feel like you need to lie and deceive all of your friends and family? I am sincerely interested in your answer.....

@Samantha...they obviously know where she is located so she must appear and sign the divorce papers for it to be finalized...

I am really not lying. If anyone asks me I tell them she won't sign the papers. My friend saidthat the minister can't pronounce us Mr. & Mrs. Is this true?

Yes because you are not Mr and Mrs so you can not be pronounced as such.

My FH has been trying to get divorced for over 2 years. The lawyer assured us it would be over by now. I am trying to write something for the dj to read before the ceremony. Any ideas?

Hey Sharon..Adjust the title so people can know you are looking for ideas to make this work. make the title something like "Is it wrong to have a non-legal ceremony?--UPDATE, need ideas on what to tell guests"

@Sharon T - I think you need to reread some responses. Several posts have made it very clear your officiant can't perform a wedding ceremony without a license... It's illegal in FL. Instead your officiant will have to make it clear that it's not a marriage ceremony to your guests, calling it a commitment ceremony etc. I think Celia's first post summed it up best.

http://www.flgov.com/wp-content/uploads/notary/q_and_a.pdf

(see page 2)

Honestly I would be wary of having any sort of ceremony esp. concerning the situation with his wife. It's just more ammo for her...