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Deborah
Dedicated September 2017

Groom's Family Hates Me

Deborah, on June 9, 2015 at 9:06 AM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 272

So my FH's family hates me. They refuse to be in the same room with me and he's not allowed to even talk about me. Why? Because we dated six years ago and I was very sick and couldn't work which made my FH stressed and we broke up then. We got back together three years later under the condition that...

So my FH's family hates me. They refuse to be in the same room with me and he's not allowed to even talk about me. Why? Because we dated six years ago and I was very sick and couldn't work which made my FH stressed and we broke up then. We got back together three years later under the condition that even if I'm sick I need to work somehow. I have fibromyalgia, chronic migraines and back problems. I work online now and work part-time. This isn't good enough for them and about nine months ago sent me letters telling me to break up with my FH because they don't think I love him. He is very soft spoken but did take a stand for me on that issue.

Well, he wants his family at the wedding - can't blame him. I am worried that they won't show and how that might feel for him. If they do come, he wants his sister, brother-in-law (who sent the letter) and brother to be his groomsmen. I would prefer they aren't but he has a right to have them.

What can I do to make this easier?

272 Comments

  • FMM
    Master January 2016
    FMM ·
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    Lucy- I believe NotHappening is female....It always shocks me when females have an outdated mentality but it does happen and more often then I care to think about.

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  • Finally mrs.jkr
    Master June 2025
    Finally mrs.jkr ·
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    Mmmmm there's lots of nannies on here, so those of us that make a living taking care of wonderful children (and using WW while they nap) take a little offense to that comment. I'm conservative and believe I belong as a stay at home mom, but all women.... Uh no, everyone has their own calling

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  • Snarky
    Master September 2014
    Snarky ·
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    Unfortunately she probably doesn't have any since she allows her FH to dictate her weight.

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  • Lauren B.
    Master October 2015
    Lauren B. ·
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    Some women HAVE to work. Some women CHOOSE to work. Some women choose to stay at home to take care of their children.

    FFS.

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  • Promike
    Master September 2015
    Promike ·
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    I think men that control their wives or future wives are the fucking downfall of society! GTFOH!!!!!

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  • Krystyna
    Super April 2016
    Krystyna ·
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    Also, some of you women are disgusting. Those with physical and mental illnesses have good days and bad. My mother can hike one day and end up bedridden for the rest of the week after doing so. It's not a one size fits all standard.

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  • S
    Master June 2015
    Sara ·
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    @lucy, if it's the same user who went by 'maybenotmaybe' yes it's a woman. She's the one with the controlling FMIL and FH and everyone was very concerned and told her she needed to get professional help. Advice she ignored, I'm sure.

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  • LB
    Master May 2014
    LB ·
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    Is Maybe/NotHappening the person who is half asian? I can't keep all the dramatic newbies / possible trolls straight...

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  • OriginalRandi
    Master November 2015
    OriginalRandi ·
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    What even happened to this thread...

    ETA Lively, yes she is, with the psycopathic FMIL and the FH who would like to divorce her if she gains too much.

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  • Lucy
    Master April 2015
    Lucy ·
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    Clearly she enjoys being controlled then. Sorry, not everyone allows themselves to be dominated by others.

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  • FMM
    Master January 2016
    FMM ·
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    @Krystyna- seriously wtf.. you only pop in to tell posters they are disgusting and are mean.

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  • LB
    Master May 2014
    LB ·
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    Right! The FH and the FMIL went to register without her, right?

    Hey @NH/MNM, whatever happened with the registry? Did you delete it? Did you confront FMIL?

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  • FMM
    Master January 2016
    FMM ·
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    Because saying "i have issues with women working, it's a downfall to society" and "more men need to stay home" are too different things.

    ETA: Your experience is not relevant to all experience. Both my parents worked and no one accused them of being shitty and saying I needed to be removed. Don't generalize based on your experience alone.

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  • Lucy
    Master April 2015
    Lucy ·
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    Umm who ever said that if a mother works their kids are fuck ups and should be taken away?

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  • Lauren B.
    Master October 2015
    Lauren B. ·
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    @Krystyna, disgusting? Really?

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  • S
    Master June 2015
    Sara ·
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    The way you phrased it, made it sound like you disapproved of women working outside the home. Hence the uproar.

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  • OriginalRandi
    Master November 2015
    OriginalRandi ·
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    Yeah Lively, that's the one. And oh man, NotHappening, having an opinion and saying working moms are the downfall of society are two different things. You just told a high percentage of the women on here that they're part of the downfall of society. Plus in your other post, we offered like 12 pages of urgent and caring advice and support and you ignored it. So you can see why we might have a weird taste in our mouths about your comments/philosophies.

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  • LB
    Master May 2014
    LB ·
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    @NHapp, you're entitled to your opinion. What happened with FMIL and the registry? DYING to know.

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  • VenetianBride
    Super September 2015
    VenetianBride ·
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    All these people who are supposedly advocating for the children who "need" someone to stay home and raise them - why don't they ever pressure men to quit their jobs to take care of their kids? Why do women have to sacrifice their careers?

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  • KM
    Master March 2015
    KM ·
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    Not if your opinion is that one...in particular.

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