Groom's Family Hates Me

I think all you can really do is just be supportive of FH and what he wants and keep your head held high. It sounds like they wouldn't be open to talking and hearing about how you two have worked on things. Good luck with your situation!

I would elope. I'm not kidding.

They don't like you because you were unable to work and it stressed your FH out?...why do they think you don't love him??

Nothing. Your FH needs to handle this with his family. All you can do is be respectful the times you do see them.

They seem to be overreacting. That's his family and if he wants them there then they should be there. If they don't show up then it's their loss.

I'm actually more worried about the condition that even if you're sick, you still have to work. As someone with serious medical issues myself, that'd send off alarm bells for me because, frankly, sometimes people just can't work. However, remember what's important: you're FH loves you, and that's what matters.

"under the condition that even if I'm sick I need to work somehow"

Whose condition? This sounds messed up on way too many levels.

I am also concerned about the working while sick condition. Either way, your fh should be the one dealing with his family. If he truly wants to spend the rest of his life with you then there needs to be a condition for them that they respect you or they don't get to be a part of his life. Period.

There has to be more to this story. Did something else happen other than the whole not working while you were sick thing?

I don't know...I know plenty of people who work under all those conditions. The accountant in my major's department had fibromyalgia and back problems, I have tons of migraines. I know all of them together can be bad, but they are all manageable and probably shouldn't stop someone from working completely (and it doesn't for you now, so why did it then?)

Not trying to be insensitive, but if you aren't being supported enough by disability and have the capability right now to do SOMETHING for an income, I agree with your fiancé...you should be, especially if you were never under the agreement that he was going to be completely supporting you financially (which it doesn't sound like you were).

As for his family, they can be concerned about him without being an ass to you. That isn't right or fair. Hopefully they come around and attend the wedding. It will be their loss if they don't.

@KM, it depends upon the severity of those conditions. I have severe migraines and there are days that I cannot physically get out of bed. There are people I know with Fibromyalgia who use wheelchairs because they cannot walk even short distances without pain or exhaustion.

OP, I too am concerned that it is a "condition" of your relationship that you have to work. I think you need to look at that and maybe get some councelling for yourself and maybe together as a couple.

Lauren- I kind of have the same thoughts as you..I feel like there is more to this story.

OP I'm sorry that your not getting the support that you need (from anyone it seems).. is there more context you could offer?

I think there is more to this story she isn't telling us. If her illness is so bad that she's in a wheelchair, the "condition" that she works is messed up.

What kind of work are we talking about here? Most people can work from wheelchairs.

Also, if you and your FH can't support yourselves because you're not working then I'm on his family's side. You need to be able to support yourselves before you focus on a wedding. #priorities

Waiting on OP to answer any of our questions

There's definitely more to this....

I would never date, let alone marry, someone who had conditions for me. If my husband decided he didn't want to work for a year for whatever reason, depression, unhappy, wanted to pursue other dreams- i would fully support that and do my best to support him through his funk no matter how long. FH was unemployed a good part of our engamgement. Was it stressful? Yes, but i don't think relationships should have conditions like that? They aren't meant to be pulled away.

Fibromyalgia and migraines do differ from person to person. Both my brother and mother have fibro, and my mother cannot get out of bed some days. She's not a lazy person, she's just so exhausted from being in pain all of the time. She often describes the feeling as being so fog headed from being so tired and in pain that it's impossible to concentrate aka work. I think my mother's case is pretty extreme, but we don't know the extent of OP's condition, is all I'm saying.

But regardless, I think it's pretty fucking shitty of a family to say that you don't love their son because of your incapability to work to make a great income. I would honestly follow Janeen's advice about eloping. Then you don't have to deal with the drama.

This isn't all of it. If it IS all of it, then he needs to tell them to fuck off.