Dry Weddings

Does everyone go around a poll their guest to see what type of food and drinks they want at their wedding??

I did go around and poll my guests asking what kind of liquor they want and made sure I had a good enough selection.

Ok CandiM, who plans the reception?? Bride and Groom or their guest? Who pays for the reception? Who is the day supposed to be about? Who do we attend for? My guest are coming to celebrate with me and my FH. I plan, I pay, you attend...simple as that....

I love how those who are calling the OP a bad host are able to voice their opinions but those of us who think alcohol isn't a deal breaker are considered high and mighty. It's called an opinion and we're all entitled to it.

The thing is, everyone is going to understand having a dry wedding because of family issues, so you can really just leave it at that. Just brush off their attitude about it and don't take it to heart.

Some people (me included!), don't have the grace to accept bad news (in this case, no alcohol) with aplomb. My first reaction to disappointment is always to spout my opinion, and it's usually completely unconscious and with no regard to the feelings of others. I may not really think that it sucks, but I might accidentally react with "oh, that sucks".

Your guests probably aren't really as upset by not having booze as you're imagining, despite some of the comments on this thread. I would absolutely go to a dry wedding of someone I'm close to and have a great time, even though I love to drink at parties. Would I have as much fun as one of FH's cousin's nephew's weddings where I don't know anyone? Nope, not without some liquor.

@Glenn, absolutely! Now THATS bad hosting skills! A small group at your home is much more different then a wedding reception. But I think you're all missing the point. Correct me if Im wrong, if ppl drink and get out of control at her wedding, isn't that a liability for her and her FH? Isn't she trying to eliminate that possibility by not serving alcohol? SO are you telling me that people drinking and having a blast is more important than her responsibility as a host? Who cares right?!! Let em trash the place! We'll deal with it later!! Bottoms up! WHAT?!!

Wow Glenn...I've never been asked what I wanted to eat or drink. I've been given a choice of meat on the invitation but that's about it.

ok so what if you truly have some people that have problems with alcoholism as guests coming to your wedding. What do you do then?

I did actually sit down with a menu and figure out what our guests would like and enjoy, vs. just telling them to eat whatever my favorite foods were. It's called being considerate. Is that weird?

And we have a few friends who don't drink for personal or religious reasons. Because they have manners and know they aren't the center of the Universe, they would have been horrified if we'd had a dry wedding to accommodate them.

No, she would not be liable, the bar tending vendor or the venue have insurance to cover this.

And anyone who is an alcoholic will be faced with temptation daily, even if it's a dry wedding, because a wedding is expected to be a drinking occasion for a majority of people (most of all alcoholics). The fact is if someone is an alcoholic and wants to drink they will find a way to drink.

I am a WOMAN, and I know A LOT of WOMEN who would HATE to attend a dry wedding, and HATE it even more to be the one hosting a dry event. It is a BAD host to not serve alcohol if a large percentage of your guests would like to have a drink. Thats like not serving sweets because some ppl are diabetic, or serving only seafood because you love it. ITs all bad. I made sure to have a variety of food, DRINKS, and entertainment for my guests. I wanted EVERYONE to have a AWESOME time.

I can have fun without alcohol, but its a different kind of fun. A night wedding with a DJ and dancing NEEDS alcohol. A majority of adults drink when at social gatherings. Thats just the way it is.

Reina: You can drink and still remember the night FYI.

I understand being considerate but it's hard to do that for 200 people. I don't see how you could please everyone....

In other news.....Shannon, I see you went to Excellence for your honeymoon. I went last year and we're thinking about going back for our HM. Didn't you just love it?! That place is amazing.

That's why you serve chicken and beef.

Wow Reina thats a horrible mentality to have..."i plan, i pay, you attend..." Thank goodness most brides that I know didnt have that attitude. I would not want to waste my time attending a wedding where the bride felt that way. Guest take time and money to attend your wedding and you should care about their wants and feelings... you should want them to have a great time and do what you can to provide that for them.

You can't please everyone, this is a fact, but I'm going to go ahead and please the majority. As I have said many, many times on this board the thing that I care most about on my wedding day is that my family and friends have a great time. So yes, my entire bridal party and their spouses (40 of the 150 guests) as well as most of my family and work friends have been consulted as to what kind of alcohol they like, what kind of wine, what kind of beer, and I'm doing my best to accommodate everyone that gives me recommendations.

Legally, she might not be liable, but do you think that makes her feel better?

It makes me feel better, we got a group rate at a hotel less than 1/4 mile walk from our vendor and gave all of the information to all of our guests. I also know my friends and know 99% of them will be more than responsible, and if they get out of hand the bartenders will cut them off. So yes, knowing that I've done everything I can to give everyone a great time, while keeping them safe, makes me feel light years better.

Venues where ppl drink provide security and they carry insurance. If she is trying to spare her feelings... then when ppl ask why she is having a dry wedding she needs to sy because she doesnt trust her guest to know how much to drink and how to behave. I have parties with alchol and if someone drinks to much and does something stupid that is their fault... their the adult. I didnt force them to drink. I wouldnt blame a host if I drank too much and did something stupid...

40 of the 150 is only 27% and not the majority...but I get what your saying