Dry Weddings

I totally disagree with you Angela, if I am going to be doing something that is going to upset my guests or treat them poorly I want someone to step in and tell me about it.

Maybe just don't mention that it's a dry wedding anymore. It's kind of inviting a response of some kind, and you probably won't get a lot of "oh, I'm so glad" replies.

Some recently married friends had a beer-only reception (for the cost), and when my friends heard about it, they nonchalantly smuggled in about 8 bottles of hard liquor to fix the problem. Our friends just drink for parties and wedding receptions, and they drink a lot.

Since alcohol has become a wedding reception staple, it's kind of like announcing that you won't have a wedding cake because of a couple people with diabetes on the guest list. You would get the same snotty remark or grunt. Just understand that you're going against the grain, and just because people are put out by that doesn't mean they don't care about you.

I think you absolutely need to let people know it's going to be a dry wedding before they come. At least let them prepare!

Glenn guess we are going to have to agree to disagree on this topic... I don't look at it as treating them poorly.

I went to a wedding that charged for everything even soda and then didn't tell anyone. It was horrible couldn't wait to leave because I don't carry cash and they didn't take cards or have an atm. You need to let people know what's going on.

To not tell is kind of underhanded and very rude. To me that screams I want gifts and I know if I tell people they have to pay for drinks or their are not going to be drinks they won't give me a good gift.

@ Kendall "I understand that the reception is for the guests, but the most important part is not the alcohol." - I could not have said it any better!!!! This topic just burns me up!! I can not stand when people HAVE to drink just to have fun. It's a wedding celebration, that isn't reason enough to have a good time??

Lesli I love that cake analogy.

I have been to a few non-alcoholic weddings but they were ALL just a reception, in the middle of the afternoon and did not include a dance. Who goes to a non-alcoholic club?

If you have an alcoholic in the family, guess what? They will find a way to drink. Don't get yourself all comfortable with the idea that they won't drink if there isn't any booze provided.

You all can agree to disagree with me all you want, watch a few episodes of 4 weddings where one of the brides goes with a dry wedding, they almost always have the lowest experience scores and that's for good reason. I remember watching one where the brides were at a table with two aunts who smuggled in flasks and that's the only thing that saved their day.

It really goes back to how you want people to remember your wedding. Do you want everyone to tell you how pretty you are and how beautiful your decorations were or do you want everyone to say "that was the most fun wedding I've been to"? Me, I want people to talk about how much fun they had.

Glenn I couldn't agree more.

Sad I missed the "weddings are boring" part and went straight to the part where people get sticks up their arses and start diagnosing total strangers with alcoholism. Which, IMO, is much more rude than basically anything I've seen on here.

People, don't make your own heebie-jeebies about booze into an excuse to 1. ruin other people's fun, and 2. tell total strangers that they must be alcoholics because they disagree with you. It's just bad manners.

And again ... you can't have fun without drinking??

We are also having a dry reception, but I guarantee everyone will still have a blast and this will be one of the best wedding/reception they have been to. If you NEED alcohol in your system to have a good time, you are not the most lively individual. There was life before alcohol and there will be life after it. There is nothing like going out having a great time with family and friends, AND being able to remember every thing the next day I know I am probably solo with this one but I am 35 and never had a desire to have an alcoholic beverage, but I have no probably partying with the best of them. Do what you do on YOUR day and YOUR dollar.

I guess that's where we all differ. Fun, for me, doesn't equate to alchohol. If I wasn't serving alcohol at my reception, I KNOW my guests would still have a great time because I know my group of guests and I know how to entertain them. Again, if you can only be entertained by alcohol then....you know the rest. Safety trumps "fun" any day in my book. And this isn't a reality tv show. We all know how unrealistic those are anyway.

It all depends why you are doing it..... to save money, well then have guests buy the alcohol. We are having a cash bar, I've never even been to a wedding with an open bar. In this small northern city everyone does cash bars. Its just how it is.

If however it is because you have alcoholicm issues with say a parent recently out of rehab... well I 100% can understand you. Your close family member can't yet be strong enough to be around a hundred other drunk people and flowing liquor? Well what are you supposed to do, not invite that person? What if its your mother? Just keep in mind it is YOUR wedding. You are paying for it, and you only get one. Do whatever you want to do and dont listen to anyone else. Ya I want my guests to have fun and enjoy my wedding. But more importantly I want to enjoy my wedding. Me and my FH are the most important people on this day and it is our party.

You should only have to tell your guest once that you are having a dry reception. No explanation needed. It is your reception.

I agree with Jennifer N...it's not being insensitive, it's being responsible. You're not forcing anyone to quit drinking. You're just asking them not to drink at your wedding. What's the big deal?

I'm not sure what sort of family issues you are referring to, but most alcoholics realize that they cannot ask the rest of the world to stop drinking because they have a problem. Dry weddings work well, in my experience, when the vast majority of guests don't drink, at all or often. However, a crowd of drinkers will feel deprived or as though you are trying to impose your "dietary" restrictions or choices upon them, as well. I don't eat meat, but we served it at our celebration because our guests would not have enjoyed a vegetarian feast. My party is not an opportunity to make everyone else eat like I do, but if I had tried, I would have expected people to graciously RSVP no or leave early - but not make snotty comments. If you say what you're thinking, however, I bet you'll insult a lot of people, lose some friends, and have a smaller wedding than you planned.

BINGO!

This is my problem with this debate; if you don't want alcohol at your wedding fine, good for you, but don't make it about other people then. Stop with the oh you must be an alcoholic or you can't have fun without it.

It is your deal, so own it.

It's not about whether YOU can have fun without drinking, it's about creating a fun atmosphere with your friends and family. Do you really go out dancing with your family and friends and see a lot of people without drinks in their hands?

And obviously in the OP's case not all of her family and friends are on the sober-fun train.

There is a huge difference between having a couple drinks to get a buzz and loosen up and getting wasted. Lots of good people like to get a buzz on. Don't get all high and mighty and look down on people just because you don't.