Dry Weddings

@Angela

She is only bad when she gets alcohol into her system.

We had a similar issue with my Husband's Father. He is a mean drunk, and so is an uncle, and my mom can have her moments. We spoke to all of them before the wedding and explained that we would rather them not drink at the wedding. We told our wedding coordinator to let the bartender know not to serve them if they asked, and also for her to keep an eye out to make sure no on was slipping him drinks.

DH and I were prepared for the fact that IF he did drink we would have to ask him to leave, and he knew that before hand. He luckily did as we asked and didnt drink or attempt to drink. Having a dry wedding because of his father, my mother, and the uncle never crossed my mind because I didnt want to take away from my run or my guests fun. I was will to take the risk that I might have to ask them to leave. But in the end they behaved correctly.

@ Mrs. Montoya - Unfortunately, our parents might not be that well-behaved, even if spoken to. My father has always drunk against our wishes and his brothers have always disrespected us as well, by giving him drinks because they feel sorry for him and because they also never had to deal with him after the party was over. I also am regretful in saying that I'm sure that if alcohol were to be served, she would find a way to get it through someone else (the family she has outside of her immediate family don't know she is a chronic alcoholic, it is a well kept family secret) The rest of her family will be there. I wish there was a way I could predict if they were going to behave or not but I can't do that

Then you've done what you've had to do to make sure your day goes as smooth as possible. It could not have been an easy decision. I wish you the best!

Yes GRAVY. Its disgusting. Sorry took so long to reply I had to drive home

@Angela Thanks again

@ Jess and Chris - ?

Thank you for popping back into the discussion, Mrs. Redmond! I guess you see that this is a topic that many people feel passionately about. I hope you understand this and aren't scared away by the 14 pages of comments! It's great that your topic elicited such a response!

I'm so sorry to hear about the parent issues ... those can't be easy to deal with :/

Please keep us updated and continue sharing your plans .... all these opinions equate to a great variety of ideas and helpful pointers!

We are also having a dry wedding minus champagne for the toasts and cake cutting. We decided to do it because my FFIL is a recovering alcoholic and has been doing good for the last 10 months. Also, alot of our families are not drinkers so it really isnt a big deal. I know how to get the party started and keep it going so we really don't need the alcohol. Don't get me wrong, we are ending our reception at a decent time because most of my bridal party and us are going out to a local bar we frequently go to to celebrate

We debating a dry wedding for FH family's spiritual background (all strict Baptists) but decided that my German family and his other side that is Irish would have issues with that.

I guess I agree with what someone on the first page (I think) wrote about the reception is really for your guests more than you...

AHahah Sorry lol I was from the mud wrestling comment page. Someone asked me about it. Its a thing a hotel on the beach does around thanksgiving every year

It's your wedding if you don't want alcohol don't have it.my Fh said no alcohol period at the reception,we going out on the strip and get our drink on and continue to party there after.

I truly understand my mom is the same way,so i no what you going thru,that's the reason we not serving alcohol and all our families and friends are cool with it cause they no what will happen.

14 pages and a lot of heat later, it doesn't seem to me alcohol is the real issue at all. Except in our beloved WW community, as always.

I don't want to freak you out, but chronic alcoholics will find a way to get a drink, with or without you providing it. She may smuggle it in, or she may get drunk beforehand. If your FMIL has been getting drunk every night for the past 15 years, there's no way she is going to be sober at your wedding. So have a dry wedding if that works for you, but I honestly do not think that will solve your main concern. You may end up with a dry wedding, which you obviously don't like, and having to throw people out anyway.

I agree with Mrs. S completely. She will stow alcohol in a shampoo bottle and sneak it into her purse or some other elaborate scheme. They always find a way. If you are lucky she will sneak out and take a cab to a bar and get trashed there. But she will find a way to drink.

@ Mrs. S and @ Pumpkin

- Since she will be coming in from 400 miles away with her mother (very strict) and her daughter, they will both be with her every step of the way so I am comfortable with the thought that she won't be able to get her hands on alcohol, even if she wanted to. She is well behaved around her mother. That being said, I still know there are risks, so I am willing to have her escorted out by the guard. But if I were to have alcohol available, it would be much harder to keep her away from it rather than having her escorted out once, because being the FH 's mother he will want her there all the time. If we have a dry wedding, it would be much less to worry about and she will just remain in her seat. If she leaves she leaves. But there would at least be no drunken drama.

But thank you ladies for giving me the heads up. I really do appreciate it.

Yes, you are correct Mrs. Redmond, if she is a chronic alcoholic, I don't care how much you say, "don't drink," she's gonna drink. I guarantee there have been many times you've told these people, "you need to stop," and they didn't did they? How many holidays did you say, "don't drink," but they did. Yeah, they're not gonna stop because it's your wedding and you say no. I also imagine being turned away by the bartender probably won't go over very well for them either because I'm going to assume they're in denial that they have a drinking problem and "who is this clown to tell me I can't have a beer?!" There's a difference between, "I have a friend who gets crazy when he drinks so I asked him not to drink, and it worked out," and having someone who has an actual drinking problem.

Maybe she'll will show up drunk, maybe not. Maybe he'll sneak in a flask, maybe not. If having a dry wedding gives you the peace of mind that you weren't an enabler for the day, then it's for the best.

My fiancé and I are both sober alcoholics and are hosting a cash bar with beer and wine. This is something we have gone back and forth a hundred and one times because I understand that everyone "parties" differently, and I want everyone to have a good time. Of course we have had to learn how to have fun without alcohol, but I also know that not everyone is a problem drinker like we were. In the same breath, I think that trying to mingle with guests who are 10 shots of tequila deep would be fairly unenjoyable and potentially triggering for both of us. At the end of the day we feel that a cash bar with beer and wine will allow people to let loose a bit without going overboard. We would prefer people don't get wasted. They don't like it they don't have to come lol.

My fiancé and I are both sober alcoholics and are hosting a cash bar with beer and wine. This is something we have gone back and forth a hundred and one times because I understand that everyone "parties" differently, and I want everyone to have a good time. Of course we have had to learn how to have fun without alcohol, but I also know that not everyone is a problem drinker like we were. In the same breath, I think that trying to mingle with guests who are 10 shots of tequila deep would be fairly unenjoyable and potentially triggering for both of us. At the end of the day we feel that a cash bar with beer and wine will allow people to let loose a bit without going overboard. We would prefer people don't get wasted. They don't like it they don't have to come lol.