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Future Mrs. Redmond
Dedicated February 2012

Dry Weddings

Future Mrs. Redmond, on November 17, 2011 at 12:48 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 281
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We are having a dry wedding because of family issues. It seems like every time someone finds out we are having a dry wedding we get some kind of snotty remark or grunt. I feel like if you are only coming for the booze, then you shouldn't be at my wedding. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what to politely respond to these people?

281 Comments

Latest activity by Crystal , on May 28, 2018 at 6:36 AM
  • Private User
    VIP October 2022
    Private User ·
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    Don't even respond. Right there, they have shown you just what they were looking forward to. Just gives you a reason to mark said person off your list. I could be being a little harsh but.. whenever I threw a party.. be it dry or not.. no one ever grunted at me or said something nasty. If someone were to do such a think as saying something snide.. guess who wouldn't be invited..lol

  • Meghan
    Master August 2011
    Meghan ·
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    I think it depends on the reasons for the dry wedding. We had a dry wedding, because we did a lunch. One third of our guests don't drink, one third of our guests were kids, and the other third we were partying with later that night- and covering their tabs then.

    Most people expect to drink at weddings- even if it's just a glass of wine or two with their meal.

  • Carly
    Super October 2012
    Carly ·
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    I love my friends, and i love to drink when i am with them. this may sound really awful, but i would absolutely hate a dry reception. how boring. most ppl dont dance or do anything without a few drinks. also, i have been to a friend's reception where it wasnt dry, but everyone had to buy really expensive drinks if they wanted to drink. everyone ended up BYOB'ing and standing out in the parking lot drinking and smoking instead of inside on the dance floor. i would hate for that to happen to you =[ cuz i know it made my friend upset.

  • 2d Bride
    Champion October 2009
    2d Bride ·
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    I think it depends a lot on your crowd. I belong to one in which very few social events involve drinking, and I suspect no one would have given it a second thought if we'd had a dry wedding. However, if you're getting a lot of negative reaction from potential guests, you may want to schedule the wedding for a time when people won't expect alcohol, e.g., a morning wedding followed by a brunch or lunch reception.

  • Glenn
    Master February 2012
    Glenn ·
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    I have been to a dry wedding before, the only way that I got through it was stopping at Chili's between the ceremony and reception (4 hour gap FTL) and downing 2-4-1's with some of the other guests. We were nicely toasted when we got there and it made what was other an extremely boring affair only semi tolerable. The fact is that weddings are boring and you need the booze to loosen people up.

  • Honey B.
    Master May 2012
    Honey B. ·
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    I agree with Glenn- my cousin's are really religious so for their wedding receptions it was literally a sit down meal with no bar. They also don't listen to music unless it is religious so there was no DJ or dancing. Quite boring so we stopped in between to grab a snack and some drinks for each of their weddings.

  • Angela
    Super September 2012
    Angela ·
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    I'm not sure I totally agree. To a point maybe, but if you have good food and a great DJ that can go a long way without the alcohol. When people respond rudely the best thing to do is ignore them. You have your reasons for doing a dry wedding, don't let others get to you.

  • Glenn
    Master February 2012
    Glenn ·
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    I just go with the mantra that the ceremony is for the bride and groom and the reception is for the guests. I would NEVER invite people over to my house to watch a football game without providing beer and liquor if they want so I couldn't even fathom asking them to take 4-6 hours out of a weekend and not offering them a drink.

    Of course the thing I've stressed about most for the wedding, outside of the guest list, is the amount and type of booze we are providing. We've already bought it all but I'm still tempted to get more.

  • Mrs. Montoya!!!
    VIP October 2011
    Mrs. Montoya!!! ·
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    I would never even fathom a dry wedding. To me thats not being a good host. You cant make everyone suffer because certain ppl can hold their liqour. We had an open bar... and their are ppl in the family that are known for causing problems when drunk. We talked to them prior to the wedding and let them know that their would be alcohol at the wedding however we would prefer if they refrain from drinking, and that at the first sign of trouble they would be removed by the security guards. We had no issues, and no one was sloppy drunk but everyone had a fantastic time!!!

    I would be incredible disappointed, bored and miserable at a dry wedding. Just my honest opinion.

  • CandiM
    VIP June 2011
    CandiM ·
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    Oh yes, your guests are just sitting at home waiting for that invite so they can come to your wedding and get their drink on for free, woo hoo!! I can hear the party cry from here.

    Please, get over the "well if that's all they want, then they can stay home" attitude. The reception is a party for your guests. You are inviting them, and I am sure you are expecting a gift from these people. Stop with the attitude of well if they love me they will be there and should not except alcohol. If you don't want alcohol fine, own it, don't blame your guests.

    You should want your loved ones to have a good time sharing your special day, not looking at their watch saying when the heck can we get out of here.

  • Angela
    Super September 2012
    Angela ·
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    Maybe I read it wrong but she wasn't asking weather she should have a dry wedding or not, it was how to respond when people find out it's a dry wedding. We all have reasons why we do what we do and it's their choice to have a dry wedding. I would have preferred one myself only because my family doesn't drink and neither do most of my friends, but FH's friends and family do.

  • Puffins
    Master November 2012
    Puffins ·
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    2nd ^ *Edit, I second CandiM

    As for what to say to guests who make a snotty remark - I need to know more. Why are you having a dry wedding? How many guests are you inviting? What time of day is it? What other entertainment are you providing?

  • CandiM
    VIP June 2011
    CandiM ·
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    Well She didn't asked about the weather, if she had I would have said it is cold outside. Whether she asked for opinions or not, she will get them, it is an open forum and this is a long running heated debate.

  • Glenn
    Master February 2012
    Glenn ·
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    I think our reactions should tell her what to expect when people find out it's a dry wedding.

  • Ashley
    VIP December 2011
    Ashley ·
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    Depending on your situation (like Puffins said - more info would be helpful), you can just say that your family has decided it'd be best to have a dry wedding, or maybe even that it's just not in your budget. If there's alcoholism in the family and there are people who truly can't be around alcohol, then I can understand the need to have a dry wedding.

  • Jamila
    Devoted July 2012
    Jamila ·
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    I have had some responses to certain things (not about alcohol) that I thought was rude. I just brushed it off. At the end of the day you have to make decisions that you will be comfortable with...Period.

  • Brandie
    VIP September 2011
    Brandie ·
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    I've always thought it was pretty sad when someone can't have a good time without a drink. My dance floor was packed all night long and only 3 people on that floor had drinks in their hands. There is nothing wrong with a dry wedding. Being a good host means providing them with a great meal and entertainment, all free. It doesn't mean you have to get them drunk. I would simply ignore those who can't respect your decision to have a dry wedding.

  • Pink Bride
    Super September 2012
    Pink Bride ·
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    If you know that things will get out of hand if you serve alcohol, then by all means have a dry wedding. After all, you have ppls safety to be mindful of as well as your venue. Did you get insurance for your venue? I understand that the reception is for the guests, but the most important part is not the alcohol. And if anyone disagrees, I seriously think they may have a problem. Just my opinion though.

  • Angela
    Super September 2012
    Angela ·
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    Glenn I do agree that most people do expect alcohol @ weddings and them finding out that it's a dry wedding they may not be happy with, but for whatever reason the couple has decided against it. I figure it's not my place to tell them how I think they should do their wedding just as I wouldn't want them to tell me how to do mine. We all have different visions for our day. Asking advice on something is completely different then someone putting their 2 cents in when it wasn't asked for. Now granted when you put it on an open forum like this you will end up with a lot of opinions!!

  • Glenn
    Master February 2012
    Glenn ·
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    Guess I've got a problem then.

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