Dry Weddings

As for how to handle it, your best bet is not to react. If, as you say, you feel that there is nothing wrong with having a dry wedding, then you should not try to offer an explanation or get defensive and insulting. I agree that it is rude of your guests to make snotty comments. Again, I think they have the choice either not to attend at all or not to stay as long as they might have otherwise, but there really isn't an excuse for the snotty comments. If you really are confident that there is nothing wrong with your dry wedding, then there is nothing really to say beyond "We hope to see you there."

FWIW, I usually never drink at weddings, usually I'm the designated driver and if I'm going to drive I won't have a single drink, but unless I am best friends with the bride/groom odds are I won't know most of the people there so I'm either going to need them to be socially lubricated or I will need to be, I am just not the type of person who can go up and strike up a conversation. Sorry if that makes me pathetic or whatever in your book.

Glenn S., was that you agreeing with ME?

Here is something I think some of you need to understand about alcoholism. It's not just about booze being available. It's about triggers. A wedding is a trigger. If they are that bad off, they should not go to your wedding anyway. If they are truly recovering they need to battle those triggers and being around booze.

I don't think anyone is being high and mighty here??? I think as indiividuals everyone has different lifestyles, and as adults we respect those different lifestyles. Some people may need a buzz, others can have a sweet tea and still have just as much fun. Alcohol is simply an addition to ones reception, as is favors, centerpieces, uplighting etc.

I'd be so sad if people didn't come to my wedding because I wasn't serving alcohol

Most people want to come and party. When people think of partying, they think alcohol.

But you can do whatever YOU want. It's YOUR wedding and you are paying for it.

Hey, if you want to have a dry wedding. Have a dry wedding. Guest come to celebrate WITH you. So, you plan the meal.

Stop telling everyone its a dry wedding....and for those that ask, tell them that's what you want and leave it at that...

No one is calling anyone an alcoholic because they have to drink to have fun ... and no one is getting all high and mighty either. Some people on this site are blasting the OP because she is having a dry wedding and calling her a bad host. It's no different then the brides who choose to have fingerfoods or a cake and punch reception rather than a sit down dinner for whatever reason.

The "high and mighty" refers to the posters who are nattering on about how THEY can have fun without alcohol, so anyone who prefers to be a little buzzed at a wedding MUST have an alcohol problem, because they "can't have fun without alcohol." It's all self-righteous priggery to me.

Fact: If you have to diagnose strangers with alcoholism to prop yourself up, that says WAY more about your own issues with alcohol than it does anyone else's.

Yes, people have definitely been high and mighty, when you say that people who need alcohol to have fun have other problems that's high and mighty.

And J&R S, not sure what you said that I agreed with, definitely didn't agree with the last thing you posted.

Ah, your bingo post came right after mine. I knew it couldn't be true, though.

I agree with Brandie T. No one called anyone an alcoholic. And some are being pretty rude to insinuate that she's a bad host. She asked for advice. Not to be put down.

Sorry, but in my world she is being a bad host. I don't know her and her friends or family, but the fact that she's getting "snotty remarks" tells me that they agree with me and that she's being a bad host.

Wow...that's very rude. However, we are all entitled to our own opinions

In the end, no one can force you to throw the kind of party you don't want to have, and no one can force your guests to enjoy themselves if they don't like it. To some extent, everyone rolls the dice with this a little. Seriously, though, if you meet snotty comments with an insult, you will not be helping your situation and may permanently damage relationships that are important to you. Take a step back, breathe, and just ignore inappropriate comments.

Kendell, what is so "very rude" that you are referring to?

I just asked a friend of mine not on this board who I knew going in didn't drink, here is our convo:

Me: question from an internet message board, what do you think of dry weddings?

Andrea: i dont drink so it doesnt bother me but i wouldnt do it bc i know ppl like to drink at weddings and have fun. we had an open bar. turned out well. ppl were happy

Bad host?? I don't know if she's being a bad host. I think you are subjected to someone else's taste when you go to their event. So if they serve ham and I don't eat pork, I'll just have to eat something else if I want to be there.

However, alcohol is a sticky subject because some people don't drink. So, if you have people that don't drink and you have people that do drink, you are going to offend someone either way, no?

I'm serving champagne and sparkling cider to try to please everyone but I drink occasionally so it's no big deal to me.

What's rude is that you're dubbing her a "bad host" because she's looking out for the best interest of her guests, and her investment in her venue. No disrespect, so please don't take this the wrong way, but Glenn, are you a man or woman?

Glenn, how can you say she is being a bad host??? If she has a guest list of 200 and 10 people have made snotty remarks about her having a dry wedding...guess what the other 190 can still have a great time with her and her FH. Will you be a bad host if some of your guest complain about the music and food choice on your day? Alcohol is not going to make or break her day. Seriously people talk about minor details. Now if the DJ doesn't show up, the officiant doesn't show up, there isn't enough food for the guest...that is something to worry about.