Dry Weddings

If I didn't have to pick up kids after school, I'd join you!!

Apologies for not having responded sooner, I go to school, work and have senior projects on top of my wedding planning so time for me is very limited.

I should have explained a little more in depth about my reasons for not having alcohol in my wedding. My FMIL has always been against me marrying her son. She is a chronic alcoholic, meaning she literally gets drunk/trashed every night of her life for the past 15 years. FH and I don't know how she is still alive. When she gets drunk she becomes a very bad person, and every rage she has inside her comes out and is directed at me. My father isn't an alcoholic but he can't have one without having too many. Like my FMIL he becomes an embarrassing drunk and gets violently physical with us. As you can see these are 2 very important guests at the wedding, if not the most important as they are our parents. The issue of having a dry wedding has been very hard for me to deal with as I want everyone to have fun. The opinion I stated in my cont.

I was just in a dry wedding (bride and groom and grooms side of the fam dont drink) and i had a great time! I danced and had fun all with out alcohol. and i have argued this on here a bajillion times, but you dont and shouldnt need alcohol to have a good time. its not your wedding its theirs and deal with it or dont go.

so Future Mrs. Redmond i agree with you 100% and you dont NEED a reason, its your wedding. the people that care about you and FH wont care about the lack of bar.

Post wasn't an "attitude" it is how I honestly feel. It does sadden me that people aren't going to be able to drink at the wedding because of those two. I can assure everyone that I am not a bridezilla (I've asked) and I do care about my guests. It is my wedding day and it would ruin my day if either of those two people got out of hand. I don't want to recall my wedding in the future and remember any sort of mishap. My FMIL and my father aren't going to have an easy time watching us two get married and alcohol and the reception will be the perfect outlet for them. I honestly wish there was a way I could have everyone drink except for just those two, but in a real world that will not happen. I find it disheartening that I've gotten comments that have sort of hurt me over the simple fact that I am not serving alcohol, but I guess that's just the way people are. I've come to this forum for help but now I feel a more stressed than I already was. Some of you have helped me feel better Cont.

Nice to meet you Future Mrs. Redmond! As I stated earlier, its better for the masses not to have alcohol (as you've already decided). The best approach would be to say that it simply isnt in the budget! Im sure you all can have fun without all the booze....and drama

And some of you have made me feel worse, which is okay because I like honesty. That being said, thank you all. I do plan on warning people on my wedding website that there will be no alcohol. Thank you guys for warning me also of some possible consequences. I am now a bit more ready to handle the decision Ive made. Any other suggestions as to how I can make this better for everyone please do so. And please no condescending talk, I did not ask for that to be implied towards me or anyone who has posted. I am also not a bad host, if I was a bad host I would not even have bothered spending money on the guest favors, food, pretty reception, and DJ. I have made sure that all types of drinks will be served, minus the alcohol content.

VERY well said Mrs Redmond!

Wooooooooow.......and the answer to your questions is....Tell them that you can not have alcohol for family reasons. That's it. NO OTHER EXPLANATION NEEDED.

So sorry to hear about the troubles your FMIL and father have caused your two. I wish you the best and pray that you have a beautiful day to celebrate your love.

@ Heather and Mrs. Harris - Thank you for your support and everyone elses.

I wish I could thank all of those that provided support on these 13 pages but I can't lol.

OMG I can't imagine how bad you feel!!! And the fact that these are 2 important people in your lives... Isn't there anything you could do like tell them if they get out of line they will be escorted out?? I know that would probably be horrible too... Wish I had better advice!

No problem! Good luck with everything...you made the right decision!

Great response Future Mrs. Redmond....with your busy life, continue to focus on those closest to you, and the day you and your FH will share. You don't need any more stress, as we all know planning a wedding is stressful enough. People will always have their opinions, but who are we to judge you as we are not even on the guest list 4 months to go!!!

We have a security guard but I don't want to have to remember having the guard escort someone out, because that itself will be a scene and people will talk about it, not to mention I will probably become emotionally upset for having to do that. My FSIL will also probably give me problems if I were to do that. All it would cause would be drama.

I think I'd be doing the same thing as you if I were in your shoes. I truly hope that your father and FMIL behave that day, but I'd also have a talk with them and let them know that if they get out of hand, they will be escorted out. I can't imagine that'd be easy, but if it means the diff between having a crappy time and a great time, it might be worth considering.

Perhaps you and some of your closer friends can go have a few drinks after the reception if you want. We did that last year at a friend's wedding (though they did serve alcohol), and had a blast! It was great to be able to spend an hour or so with just our close-knit group of friends...away from the craziness of the wedding/reception.

@ Ashley, that is a great idea! I will definitely consider going out after the reception for those that want to drink.

If you've read through all 13 pages you know I've been in support of how you want to do your wedding after all the day is about you and FH, but I'm going to play devil's advocate for just a moment... Could there be just as many issues w/o the alcohol or do the issues only come up once they've been drinking?? I'm not trying to change your mind one way or another, I guess it's more of a curiosity thing.

I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with these things and no matter what your day will be beautiful and amazing! Enjoy it!!

I'm going to play devil's advocate here, what is there to stop your FMIL from getting her drink on anyhow? If she's as bad as you say I'm sure she'll have her own stuff.

Obviously I was posting the same time as you...so ignore the "escorting out" part if that'll make things worse.

I'm guessing that those friends/family who know your situation understand why you've made the decision, even if it's not a popular one. You've obviously put some thought into this decision, and are doing what you think is best for your family. That's really all you can do. Good luck!

She won't be able to because she is coming in from out of town and her mother and her daughter will be with her. At the reception however, her daughter is a BM which will leave her grandma and her mother alone, and I'm not sure if her grandma (already an elderly woman) will be able to control her if she has alcohol at the reception. But I do know that they will not allow her to bring her own alcohol to the reception.

@Glenn, thats a good point. iv seen crazy alcoholics and they will smuggle it in anyway they can. my ex's mother got it into rehab somehow!!