Day 1 of Marriage and I hate it. Advise please.

By this time you've heard all sorts of opinions so I'll keep it short and just add my vote to reading the 5 Languages or Love - or is it 5 Love Languages??? I can't remember, looks like I need to re read it! Even better, see if your husband will read it too, maybe you with both get a better understanding of where each other are coming from. Good luck I hope things work out for you!

Some of these kinds of posts, I wish WERE a troll...cause at least then it wouldnt actually be someone going through this Sorry youre dealing with this, theres a lot of great advice given so far. good luck.

I don't think it's a troll, not sure why. Maybe it's the use of the word "mum" tells me the long distance thing is true, maybe my radar is just off.

Sharon- I was wondering about the word "Mum" too however I call my Mom Mum too. I am from NH lol I am starting to think it could be real also. I stick with my original advice.

It's real. Just doing a bit of research it isn't too hard to find the bride that was in a LDR, out of country and loves shoes. Or maybe I just have too much time on my hands.

I believe it's a real WW Bride and I hope she gets the help she wanted form the posts.

@ July, I PM'd you

@ Mrs Joesph...Ive been MIA but had to log on to tell you how beautiful you look! COngrats Mrs

Didn't read all the comments, but did someone already verify if she's legit? Thanks...

I believe she is, I hope she gets the help she needs.

Yes, she is legit, and someone most everyone here more or less knows. So put away the stakes, we don't have a troll to sacrifice.

Please make note...Shoe starts off taking about her husband.

THEN, suddenly posts that "his" wife doesn't get along with his mother.

Umm, me thinks someone forgot which sex they are.

Or perhaps I read that post incorrectly? Sorry, just read JulyBrides post, after I posted.

Yes, she is a regular. I'm sorry for everyone who thought you were a troll. You really should talk to your hubby. You both need to sit down and discuss what you're thinking and feeling and figure things out. It doesn't matter if you scream or cry or freak out, you just really need to talk it out. He's your husband, he'll probably understand. I hope it all works out and let us know how it goes.

If you don't want to post an update (I can see why you wouldn't) you can PM me and talk if you want to.

Nope she is totally legit... July and I researched her (day off with child at school, way too much time on hand) when this post was first made because something she said struck us as a certain person and yup all the info matches.... I'm really sorry that your going through this Shoes, not only being called a troll but going through all this with your husband. I hope you guys get something worked out tonight.

Luta said it best. You have come from another country, please ignore the innuendos against you. Like I said before, first talk to your husband, if that doesn't work, get counseling. I believe you.

DCT!!! How are you?!

Hi Shoe S. Not only is your husband absent a lot of the time, but you're on your own in a new country! I'm sorry and hope you can work things out. Do you have any friends here? Can you get together with some people from your home land?

Shoes, it could definitely be culture...be glad that you are not required to live with your in-laws. I hope your husband will see reason. It will also help when you have a job and start meeting new friends in real life.

I must say that to a much lesser degree, you are not alone. My DS seems to always just want to play online poker or other fun internet stuff, readings, surfing....he is at home with me, but we don't talk as much as we used to.

Adjustment, patience, and compromise!!

I thank you all again. Mean or not! I got the courage to go cry and do the talk. I told him about the issue with his mother, explained I dont feel 'comfortable' due to incidents in the past, to respect our marriage and leave others out of our decisions. told him exactly how Corinne put it (coz I didnt trust myself but she seemed to understand to the T) - 'need to find that line between respecting and loving each others families but realizing you are starting your own together and that comes first and it is a team effort, not just him and not just me' and also told him to imagine it was him in my shoes...he seems to understand. He says he couldnt believe how much I keep to myself and that he now understands why I had this mixed attitude towards him. I also talked about the spending time, like someone else said above, I told him that as much as I am not attention seeker and needy, taking time out of his hectic schedule to do things together is very important.

He also kept saying he had no idea. and not to worry, it should never be this complicated. and so sorry for being oblivious to all of these. I told him to think more about it and that there will be part two of that discussion to talk about expectations when I see him tomorrow after his trip.

I feel so relieved now...finally that would do away with sleepless nights. Thanks to those who believed and gave their opinions.