BIG PROBLEM- NO kids

1. you do have to respect the choice of the bride and groom. for whatever reason they do not want kids at their wedding and i don't think you should take it so personally. I don't think they made this decision with YOUR children specifically in mind nor do i think they did it to hurt anyone's feelings.

2. Kids do not like weddings. They are BORING to them. they will have more fun at home with their toys and a sitter than at the wedding. no matter WHO is getting married (unless its spoungebob...they would probably enjoy that wedding)

3. I do not think a child who is 8 years old now is going to say when he is older, "man i wish i was at my uncle's wedding back in the day. im really hurt i wasnt there". if you have a discussion with your kids and explain it is an adult party to celebrate their relationship your kids will understand that and not feel hurt. obviously dont be like "your uncle doesn't love you and doesn't want you there" CONT

4. You also have to think about the OTHER guests that are invited. Is it worth the rest of the guests to (possibly) have less of a good time so you can feel better that your kids are there? although i personally dont care if people bring kids to my wedding, some people dont like kids, especially when they are trying to party. and that might have been the reason behind this decision and you need to respect that. basically dont make it all about you. celebrate your brother and his FW and their wedding and be respectful of the wedding THEY want.

Ok we had no kids at our wedding. I think you are being a bit selfish. If you had to attend a party that was adult only, you would find a baby sitter. Well-behaved or not, weddings are long and most kids really could care less and get bored and wrestless. Weddings really are not for kids in my opinion. I think you are putting your personal feelings in your kids mouths...at 8, 4 and 2 I really don't think they would mind not going. I think you are wrong for not going to your borthers wedding because they chose for it to be an adult-only affair. Let your kids see the video. You will discover that they were not as distraught as you think they will be. Plus you will have the freedom to be able to enjoy the celebrations of your brother's wedding without your kids. You should be grateful that you will get a break. I'm not trying to be mean, but just trying to give you another perspective. My brother and his wife came to my wedding and they have 3 kids they coudln't bring.

I don't know if someone thought of thise idea yet. But ask your daughter why she wants to go to the wedding if she says to see the dress and the kiss then maybe just ask your brother if she can come to the ceremony

Aw I can see how that might be a bit hurtful if your kids are close to their uncle, but it is their decision and you should support it. Have a day planned shortly after the wedding for them to celebrate with them, maybe they'll feel better about it.

It will be easier on the kids if you act like you understand your brother and future SIL's reasoning and that they are children and you are adults. Maybe they are having a teenager and up cut off, hence the 13-year-old being invited. I get what you're saying for sure, but it is their wedding and you have to be understanding. I think it's kind of horrible for you to say you won't come to your own brother's wedding because of that... just my opinion.

ETA- I'm a mom myself, and I would just get a sitter if the chillun' wasn't invited. They don't yet understand the true meaning of it all anyway.

My 3rd cousin and husbund are invited to our wedding. We have a max capacity of 200....and we sent out 202 invites. My cousin replies to her invite "I don't see our childrens names on the invite". I told her that besides the ring barrer, flower girls and OOT guests that have children not able to be left at home, we are not having children at our wedding to leave room for family and close friends. We have a total of 6 kids attending. My cousins kids are 13 and 15 and they would only know their parents at the wedding. She declined her RSVP and now is not coming because she felt her kids should take president over two adults we wanted to invite (a colledge friend of my FH and his wife). Just IMO ( know some people would disagree), that weddings are not for minors. If we could have gotten away with no children at all, we would have. Ask to bring your kids to the ceremony so your daughter can see your brother get married, and then leave them with a babysitter.

Brian is right on as usual.

I would also be pissed if you skipped the ceremony and only stayed for a short period of the reception. Forget the money involved in five guests but think of the five friends that COULDN'T be invited because of your selfishness. I have family members that don't stay long at parties all of the time and I've politely told them that I would love for them to be there but not if they are going to leave early, if they aren't going to stay for a majority of the party I'd rather invite people who would, family or not.

Christene- it may not even be about money, it may be about space. My venue only holds 276 people so I had to say no to my 2nd cousins. Just too many people. So if my cousins are mad they can't bring their kids I guess I will have to live with the fallout.

How can you have 276 Friends!!!! They are people you know, you only have couple of thue friends!!! There should be always a place for the blood related family!!!

Besides our own son, there will be no children at our wedding. I would be really hurt if anyone we invited didn't come because of that, and the closer the person was me the more hurt I would be. When we go to a wedding we always leave our son at home, whether it's a child-free wedding or not. That way we can enjoy ourselves more fully and not have to worry about leaving early. To me, it's kind of an excuse to get away from him for the night and spend some time with other adults. I think your priorities are way out of whack. If it were me, I would be there, come hell or high water. I wouldn't miss it for the world. To me this a very minor thing to be even considering not going to your own brother's wedding.

It's their day and their decision, not yours. Get a sitter or stay home. Unbelieveable as it may seem, not everyone enjoys having children at what is, essentially, and adult party.

If you ask your kids? I doubt that they'll be upset at not going. Just saying.....

All im saying is my wedding is consisting of babys,toddlers,children,teens and Adults bc were all FAMILY, and its something i want to celebrate with ALL of them.

and i think if your going to invite your own child to your wedding its only fair to invite other kids. but i like Glenn's(sorry if misspelled) idea ALOT! sending kids to a local hotel room so the adults can get a chance to let loose for a change....heck yea!

Sometimes friends are closer than relatives, Edyta. Family doesn't necessarily mean "related by blood."

Explain how your own kids are "very minor thing"?

Your kids aren't invited. Get over it. If you are willing to miss your own brother's wedding over that, then that is your decision. What it boils down to is this: your kids won't remember that they weren't there but if you don't go, you will never be able to forget. If you can live with that then go for it.

Wow, Edyta... First, I completely disagree that you can only have a few true friends. I invited only my four closest friends from work, but would have loved to invite a few more... these are people I see every day. I cut childhood friends whom I no longer am in close touch with... even though I know that if I called, we'd pick up right where we left off. All in the name of family that declined, didn't RSVP, etc... I made the choices I made and I don't feel bad about it, but I can see why people choose otherwise. You have a small family from the sounds of it. Please don't judge those who chose to cut extended family in favor of friends. I, for one, can see why they do it. You have no idea what Pumpkin's list looks like, and you came off as incredibly rude.

Second, what I think Allisaurus is saying is that in the grand scheme of things, your brother and his FW are making a choice for their wedding that millions of other couples have made before. He's not disowning your kids.

I know you're hurt but it is his day and like others have said the kids won't even remember this enough and you can't really bank on kids behaving especially when its alot of stuff going on. I would find a babysitter and be there for your only brother. Suck the hurt feelings up because you will regret it if you don't.

Hi. I have kids of my own and I myself are only inviting the children of my brothers. It could be alot of reasons why they dont like kids on the wedding. It could be the budget or they just want to enjoy the mature crowd who can appriciate the moment. All I am saying is that just respect their wishes. Its only for a few hours that can leave a great memory both of ur new sister in law and your brother.

Really.. get over it.. no kids at all! its not like he said i will not let YOUR kids there but are still letting others.

Edyta, please tell me you take ESL.

Family does NOT mean the same as "blood related".

I have blood related "relatives" that I would NOT call my family.

Vise versa for "friends". They're my family!