BIG PROBLEM- NO kids

LOL I was going to start the same way as Shellie

Ive read most of it though

to the OP

seriously your not helping your self here the person you should be bitching at is your brother or his FW But I would leave it alone your going to burn bridges since clearly your so emotional invested in the issue

Its sad that you may wreck your relationship with your only sibling over you refusing to show up to his reception

Shellie ppl have all types of weddings it makes no difference where your from its personal preference it has nothing to do with being in the burbs or the city or the country. so i agree but and adult only doesnt always make it not a family affair.

but clearly some ppl are too closed minded to understand that or respect that

I think OP just needs to make peace with the fact that the kids just aren't invited, but that it is her brother's big day and she should be there. I don't think she realizes the damaging effect this will have on her relationship with her brother, who she says is "her closest surviving relative". The kids will be fine if they don't go, their feelings might be hurt for a little while, but such is life, they will forgive and move on. Their relationship with their uncle will be more damaged by her not going to this wedding than if they don't go. I doubt she would be taking them to visit him if she and her brother aren't on speaking terms as a result of this. Not only that, but they will feel bad that Mom didn't go to the wedding because of them. If after everyone has warned her, she still doesn't go and it bites her in the butt, fine, at least she can't say nobody warned her (repeatedly).

Mrs. Murdie thats exactly was driving me crazy I really agree that she doesnt realize how damaging it will be yet she claims to be family ordinate.

I have 3 sisters and a brother and only my brother can make it to my wedding My sisters can not make it but they arent refusing to. My dad on the other hand is refusing to because of something small and petty based on the fact that its at my step dads home. And you know what the fact that my dad is refusing to come that was my last straw with our so called relationship. The thing is the smallest things that are so petty WILL destroy a family

WOW OP is psycho....

Why not just accept it for your only brothers Sake and try to do something nice (and memorable) for him that comes w/out strings attached?!. maybe make breakfast *or have it catered and still give hime the "normal" $500* and have your children serve it to him before the craziness of his day ensues? Shame on you for trying to force him to do what YOU want!

You are being impossible. But, I thank you for the entertainment.

Maybe you shoudl also stop blaming the "wife to be & her side".

FH & I decided together that we dont want children at our wedding (our 4 are in the wedding party. Will go home aftre eating and having all pics/dances required). It caused many people to say THEY wanted otherwise. Honestly it just irritated us. We dont want them there. NOT because we dont like them or think they'll behave badly; but because we decided together this is what WE wanted.

Even though i agree that you must respect whatever the bride and groom want...and that you seem to need some cheese because you are whinning alot...on the other hand my now four year old and six year old remember my cousin wedding that they attended 2yrs ago...i guess i have super smart kids. Also in the other hand i have a tight control on my kids...Mama dont play...Sadly alot of parents tent to let kids run wild in weddings.

I am pro having kids in wedding is a custome never been to a family wedding that didnt allowed kids. But i have been to wedding with no kids allowed and i left my kids with a sitter...excuse my grammer and spelling i lost my spell check....

My point in reference to what the kids may or may not remember is irrelevant. The brains ability to preserve memories relies on "pruning". Most adults don't remember their first day of school, let alone events that they did or did not get to attend as a small child.

The fact of the matter is, the kids aren't invited, regardless of how she or her children feel. She's acting as if the wedding will be the only special celebration they get to spend with their uncle. Get over it! As logical as your reasons are to you, no children are welcomed at the wedding, and they have the right to make that decision.

Why do folks feel the need to make other's personal decisions about them, it’s ridiculous!!!

I am sorry your feelings are hurt, but SIMPLY PUT: It is not your day, your decision, your wedding, or your reception. I will be getting married 9-24-11; we made the decision FOR NO CHILDREN before he even proposed, and I dont regret it. Please try to understand your brother and future SIL's decision and do all you can to attend. Like you said, you all do not have anyone else ( And trust me I understand, Mom passed Ovarian cancer 2003; dad passed Pneumonia June 2010... and all grandparents are deceased) Just take some time out to think before you speak to your brother next. And then go to the both of them and mend the relationship. Explain to him how it made you feel BECAUSE YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID AND THEY COUNT, regardless of what those feelings are. Find a way to also understand and let them know you Validate and Understand their perspective also. This could be a start to putting this situation behind you all. I hope things work out for you!

Edyta I would go the the wedding and take the kids. But if you cant find someone you trust to keep your kid during the reception. Then you are right You should stay at home. I dont have family in the state that I live in. I dont Allow too many people to keep my daughter. So I understand not wanting to leave your children with anyone. I getting married in a few weeks and I am having an adult only reception. The only small children I will have present is the flower girl( my daughter) and the ring barrier. Good luck with your situation

@ tzm - if you're having an adults only reception and there are only going to be two children at your wedding, how would you like it if your guests decided to just bring their kids? ("I would go the the wedding and take the kids") That is just downright RUDE. You don't bring extra guests to any wedding if you're the only one invited so how can she?

This really blows my mind.

My FH has 2 children and they are not invited to the reception. They are more than welcome to come to the ceremony, but I refuse to pay $60 for a child's plate of chicken fingers and fries.

I agree with the others that say get a babysitter and enjoy your brother's wedding. Get over it.

This has to be a long and interesting topic that was brought up here. I just hoped that we get something out of here and really learn a lot in order to make things work out in the long run.

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kids beds

I wish I had told people no kids because now I am stressing about the chaos and the attention seeking behavior that I simply do not need on THAT day. I am considering requesting that kids retire for the evening at 8:30-9pm. (There is an onsite sitter.)

Ceremony 5:30-6

Cocktail 6-7

Dinner 7-8

Adults Only Reception 9-11