BIG PROBLEM- NO kids

Brittany I'm confused, how can you love my idea after saying that you want people of all ages there?

Okay so after reading all this mess, I caught something nobody else seemed to. On page 4, she states and exact words - copy and pasted, "If they incuded the kids in the wedding as a flower girl etc. other gusts would not mind that they ware invited wothout kids."

So not only does she want her kids to go to the wedding, but now she wants her brother and his FW to make room in the wedding party and change things around so they can be apart of the ceremony. CRAZY!!

Get over it. It's his wedding, not yours. He doesn't want any kids there. Just get a sitter and enjoy your brother's celebration of his marriage and love. No need to get bent out of shape over it. I have two kids and I have 3 friends whose weddings are coming up between now and the end of 2012. Whether my children are invited or not to the wedding, I will not be bringing them. I also would not be offended if they had a "no kids allowed" wedding.

I didnt get to finish my other post i was going to put my sick grand mother just fell when i posted, that i was going to post after i said i love your idea i might be in consideration to say u know an adult reception sounds kinda nice, i think i have a change of heart. opps sorry :/

Nice catch kristina

i hope this is a troll.. cause how can a real person be so self involved. .

@Christine, I am the opposite. I have not been to a wedding where children were invited. I do not like children at weddings nor receptions. Servers and vendors at receptions are not fond of children at events either.

OP said "I think the decision was made by the bride, on her side of the family there is no small kids and the pre- teens are invited. If they incuded the kids in the wedding as a flower girl etc. other gusts would not mind that they ware invited wothout kids."

And so what if it is the bride and her family making that call? It is HER wedding, not YOURS. I did not have children at my wedding (my choice and my husband agreed, even though there were young children in his immediate family). My daughter did not have children at her wedding (other than her 5 year old half-brother who walked her down the aisle with her Dad and then went back to the hotel suite to have his fill of french fries.)

You are truly missing the fact that the Bride AND Groom have decided that they choose not to have children at their special day.

I do agree that the bride and groom have the right to decide who goes to their wedding...i can understand that it upset you but at the end its not your decision to make...I know that its hard to find a sitter i have three boys myself however is not impossible to find one either...reconsider your decision he will want you there...

I don't know who has told some of you guys that all kids consider wedding boring...My boys love weddings. They r the life of the part! So please don't generalize.

Yet, if i was invited to a wedding that doesn't allow kids i will not take it to heart...i was MOH to my best friend wedding and left my kids with my mother....

Now...i am allowing kids of my family only to come to my wedding...the rest of my guest wont be allowed to have kids. And if they don't like it well to bad...like many of you say its the bride and groom decision who they invite...So only my kids and my family kids will be invited....and i will let them party they heart out....

I agree that the Bride and Groom decide whether kids are invited (and even select what kids are invited) if that's what they want. I understand your disappointment, but you should not try and change it. You said your children are very close to their Uncle. If that is the case, I would assume you are close with your brother. Since your "family" is only you and your brother - your parents have passed on I would hope you realize how short life can be. Do you really want to be the person that destroyed the relationship for all involved (including your kids that are close with their Uncle) by not going. Go to the wedding without your kids and enjoy the break from being a Mom. If my sister didn't come to my wedding because her kids weren't included, I don't know that I would forgive her for that (and we are very close). You need to consider this from all sides not just you and your kids. I think you will regret not going and it would be your loss by not attending.

I totally get the no kids thing. My cousin got married last year and had an no kids policy but she did have her niece and nephew there. They were 3 and 5 at the time. It was important to her that her immediate family all be there. No one else complained that their kids were not invited. It was looked at like a mini-vacation for most of the parents and in my HUGE family, everyone has kids. As a gesture of good will for not allowing kids, she hired a babysitter at the hotel and provided food, games and other entertainment for the parents who could not leave their kids at home since 99% of us traveled to the wedding.

It's your brothers wedding. I think it's sad that he doesn't want his own nieces/nephews there for such a big day (at the very least) but if that's their choice, they have the right to make that decision. You have to respect it and if you don't go because of it, you'll regret missing out on such a life changing event.

I actually really wish I had more small children coming to our wedding. But I love kids. Everyone tells me my god daughter will be a bad flower girl because she will only be 16 months old at my wedding. But I don't care. I was there when she was born, and I love her like she is my own. I love all the children on both of our sides and can't wait to see them (some of them live 9 hours away). BUT that is my personal opinion, and honestly on their day, their opinion is what matters.

Im with you Christene I have never been to a family wedding that did not have kids. I could totally understand not taking them to a friend or coworkers wedding. FH and I will have kids at our wedding, I could not see asking people to find a sitter simply because our entire family will be at the wedding and if its not one of my son's grandmothers watching him or child care provider (which is a M-F) no one else is available. I would skip a family wedding if my son could not come.

@Christine..."Kathy, that's crazy to me! I can't imagine a wedding without children unless it was just the age range."

Well, we all have different lives. In my world, children are never at weddings, which is great. There are times when children can be included in events. Weddings and receptions are not the time for that. But then, you said it earlier. You are a "country girl". I live in a big city and live a big city lifestyle, so kids are not invited to such events.

Ok I grew up in the country and even country folk have Adult only weddings its not just a city thing.

I still stand by my statement of not going to the reception because your kids arent invited is extremely petty. its such a small detail that is not ment to be hateful but now your going to hold it against your brother because of it. its just plain sad.

@Christene H. "
They can be the life of the party sometimes!! And comic relief from all the pressure during the ceremony."

By that do you mean they will be screaming and crying and whining during your Ceremony and Vows?

Or Runing around screaming and playing while you are trying to have your first Dance and Toast Maybe even Your Cake Cutting?

Because at those ages it's what the normally do.
I honestly wouldn't wan't it to happen.Or Even risk it happening.

Yes the reception is mainly for adults, but to me the ceremony was more important and I would be devestated if a child started screaming through my vows. Kids don't need to be badly behaved to start screaming, anything could happen.. a bee could sting them.. ANYTHING. I understand your kids are blood and why you are upset, they are your babies and I'm sure you feel as if they are saying your children aren't well behaved. Just know it has nothing to do with that and I think it's sad that you wont go to the reception. You may be offended by their actions, but how HURT is he gonna be when his only sister misses the most important day in his life?? The ceremony is definatly the most "important" part but the reception is what takes so much planning and there are many aspects that are just as important. First dance, cake cutting ect... Do you really want to miss all that? Your kids are too young to even understand the wedding thing so they dont want to be there. I didn't enjoy till I was 16

Man... this thread has a lot of very powerful opinions.

In my situation, nearly all of our guests that we REALLY want to attend will be coming in from out of town, and A LOT of them have children. Some of them have A LOT of children! I would never expect them to find a way to leave their children back in the home state while they travel so far and for multiple days.

Because of this, we've resigned ourselves to the possibility of having 1/3 of our guests be children (We have SIX of our own between the two of us). We will send the invite, and if some choose not to bring the kids that is fine, but they are invited.

The reception however, is alcohol free so it makes this decision a lot easier. After reading this thread, I'm considering perhaps we need to rent another room at the venue for the kids to be entertained heh

OP - Unfortunately I agree with the majority of the posters in the thread. You need to support your brother and their decision for no children.

I didn't read this whole thread..because I honestly have better things to do with my time.lol

But I did want to mention I think you are over reacting. They are ok with the 8 yr old coming right? Then I would only take the 8yr. I'm sorry but no 4yr and baby are going to enjoy sitting through an entire wedding and reception. Depending on the 8yr...he may or may not have a good time. I know when I was that little events like that with out other little kids my age were really boring.

This is what I would do. Take 8yr if he wants to go. Otherwise send him off to a friends for a sleep over and for the babies bring in someone who baby sits for you so they can have a fun kid night.

I understand why people dont want kids at weddings..there probably wont be any at mine! I dont like seeing kids running around being kids at weddings because its distracting...plus I always feel sorry for them because they look so bored! There are ways to make it more kid friendly, but again, its NOT your choice

We're having an adult only wedding also and my maid of honor's child, my nephew, is not even invited. I think you need to respect your brother's decision and attend the wedding...sans children.

Man, you guys are brutal to the poor girl. While I don't agree with her, I'm not going to put her down.

I've only been to one wedding that kids were attending. All they did was run back and forth and slide across the dance floor causing no one else to dance at the wedding. We are not having children at our reception. The FGs and RB are going to come to eat, then we will arrange for them to be picked up after dinner. (they are FHs nieces and nephew) You're going to regret not going to his reception.

Also, from an adults point of view, wouldnt you rather enjoy a night out with out the kids once in a while?