BIG PROBLEM- NO kids

Oldest is a girl and two boys. She is asking about the wedding, marked her little calendar and counting days to the wedding since my brother told everyone in my house at Thanksgiving that the date was set.

Wicked Lizzie,

We are talking about my only brather's wedding not any wedding.

This will be first no kids wedding in our family.

I just feel your over reacting I to am a mother and if my only brother had a no kid wedding i wouldnt behave that way and we are very family-oriented hes even walking me down the aisle. I wouldnt be offended by him not wanting children at his wedding. Of all the petty things to cause a riff in life

I might be a little upset too if my only living sibling would not let my kids participate in their wedding. are they not having flower girls a ring bearer or ushers?

we are allowing kids of family members and that's it, primarily because of costs and size of the venue. and what's up with this whole troll business? just bc someone who post a picture? i mean she could be suspect, but i don't see a reason to call people names.

oh and i guess i have to be a spelling bee champ as well, because it looks like people are correcting others grammatical errors on here too...

The 13 year old brother of the bride and his cousins similar age will be in the wedding -

I understand your situation, but at the same time I feel like you should respect their wishes. How would you feel if the tables were turned?

Also, it might just be me but others may agree. I have NEVER seen a "well behaved" 2 year old.

You're kids are phenomenons! Here are how my children react to being dressed up at weddings. I LOVED it but it would have been awesome for SOME THINGS to have gone right! And don't get me wrong- I really don't have an opinion other than I feel like if you miss it, you'll regret it but again- your life your choice. Oh- and really I LOVED that they misbehaved at my wedding and got in the way a little.

1st photo is my daughter "cutting in" during our first dance.

2nd is my son with the best seat in the house

3rd is my son with the pillow on his head during the vows. Good thing we didn't trust him with the rings

Okay so they didn't post in order, but you get it

Tiffany- Your son is stinking cute! Can't really see your daughter though. IF I was having kids at my wedding I would want them to be as cute as yours!

Christene- I would have hundreds of kids at my wedding ---If I could afford $40 a plate for them, if there was enough room, if it wasn't right beside a lake, if we weren't serving alcohol, if I could expect their parents to make sure they behave, if my guests didn't want a night out without their kids, etc, ect...

I am having an adult-only wedding (unless your flying in and want to pay for airfare for the kids as well). Our decision wasn't based on how well kids can behave, but more due to money. Why would I want to pay $50 for a 5 year old who will probably only take a few bites of food and then ask for chicken nuggets (no... my venue does not have a children's menu).

Also... yes... many parents do believe their children are saints when they really are hellions. I used to work in a daycare center and there were quite a few parents that I would show them bite marks I got from their kid and they still said "Oh no! My child would NEVER do that!" Even when I had the bite mark staring them in the face!

"I understand a no children wedding, but to not invite the blood related children is a little much."

You can't invite some children and not others, unless they are in the wedding party. If I was told by a friend that I couldn't bring my daughter, and showed up and there were 6 other kids there, I admit I would be a little offended. But I would never be offended by a no children wedding- I'm having one myself- and in fact, if I was told I could bring her I wouldn't anyway because I'd want to have a few drinks and enjoy myself properly.

Perhaps the reason they are having an adults-only wedding is they have friends or family with obnoxious kids that they dont want there, so they had to say no to everyone. That is my situation. And who knows, perhaps those kids are your kids, or maybe not. Regardless, you should suck it up and go to your only brother's wedding.

I have about a dozen kids under 12 coming to my wedding, but I'm with the people who say you should gracefully leave the kids at home. Two things: first, a two year old may be very well behaved, but he is still a two year old. Tantrums at that age are almost inevitable under high stress, late night conditions. A four year old may also have a rough time. There is even a world of difference between 8 and 13. Second, your brother is hurt by your choice specifically because he IS family oriented. He wants you, his only sister, there with him... to dance with him and celebrate the start of his life with his new wife. I would ask you to step into THEIR shoes and understand that a teen is way different than a child. I understand wanting kids at weddings... I feel like mine wouldn't be the same without them, but I've been to adult-only weddings and no one lamented the lack of tots.

Gotta love Brians real world answer...as always he has the best ones! I dont think kathy and Lyndon are being too harsh or mean, theyre being honest and i agree 100%! I have one of my own, granted hes in the wedding but no kids are allowed that arent in the BP. My best friends mom has 4 small children and even though she is coming to my wedding, she has told me she does not want her kids bored so will find a sitter. And yes we are quite close to the kids but that doesnt change the fact that kids have the attention span of a goldfish!

Ok, first, you do not respect his decision. If you did, you would quietly leave the kids at home and be sad they weren't there, but not say a word to your brother about it. Instead, you are disrespecting the decision and saying you will not come unless he changes his mind.

Second, your daughter is the one who really wants to go, the 2 and 4 year old could care less and most likely would not even remember the wedding in a couple years. Take your daughter like they said you could and tell your brother you are sorry you were being such a dink. Of course it's his wedding and you would be happy to go with just your eldest child.

*clothes* firstly that is how that is spelt.

Second, it is HIS and the FW day NOT YOURS so suck it up and get a sitter or ruin your relationship with your blood relative.

That is plain and simple, and also honest communication from a bride to be that is not inviting children to our reception or the ceremony. We do have close children in our family but it is a formal affair and also an adult affair not a childrens party.

I'm a proud mama who brags that my children are extremely well behaved, but I'm no fool - put them in an environment such as a wedding and they're going to get bored, whiney, think decorations are toys, etc. - not to mention, they have no business being around a group of adults who are drinking to their heart's content. My OWN children will NOT be attending my OWN reception and neither will any one else's. If their feelings are hurt, well whatever... they're four and six (will be five and seven) and will get over it a week later... I'm the parent, they are the child.

We aren't having any children at or in our wedding.

Our adult guests who have children are looking forward to a night out without their kids!

I agree with Brian, there are times when children will not always be allowed to do adult things- and it's OK TO TELL KIDS NO!

Hey Brian, not only is this a great chance for the kids to learn that they don't always get their way, it sounds like Edyta could learn this lesson as well. We are having kids in our ceremony, but we are getting a sitter for them and their toddler sisters (4 kids total) and we will be sending them off to a hotel room filled with toys, pizza, etc... as soon as possible for a few reasons.

1. There parents can then relax and enjoy the night

2. We are having a formal wedding and reception and in my opinion kids have NO place at weddings (when I was young my parents took me everywhere, but they absolutely refused to take me to weddings, even if other kids were invited)

3. I don't find it cute when kids are running around and causing trouble (lots of people find it cute) and would be FURIOUS if I was having my first dance with NisseyD and a kid felt the need to come in and join us, even if it is her niece.

Personally I am inviting children (not a bunch tho), I believe it is not inappropriate to have them at weddings, but that's been covered in multiple threads:-)

Anywho, the OP herself states: "It is the bride and groom decision what kind of wedding they want"

this is absolutely true, there is no right or wrong answer..your brother chose not to have kids, so I'd read your first line, and that's all you really need to know.

I am NOT ALLOWING kids at my reception. They can come to the ceremony but I dont want them at the reception. I think it all depends on the type of reception your having. Mine will be from 6-12, drinking, partying, and dancing... imo kids have no business being around alcohol and partying. I am also having par can everywhere uplighting the venue and I dont need a kid getting burned or hurt. I have a 17 month son and he WILL NOT be at the reception, and neither will our nieces and nephews.