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Bridesmaids for 2nd wedding
I am recently engaged. This will be my 2nd marriage, as well as my fiance's 2nd marriage. We'd like to keep this wedding small & intimate. When considering bridesmaids....I decided that since my sisters were in my first wedding, I would choose a friend to stand with me this time around. My thought was.....my sisters forked out a lot of money for the first wedding, ie: dresses, showers, etc. So I figured this time I'd save them from all of that. But I seem to be getting some resistance from them since I have mentioned that I hadn't planned on having them as bridesmaids. My fiance is having his sister stand up with him as his "Best Girl" so I think this is making matters even more tense for my sisters.....What do I do?

Married: 07/18/2008
Posted On: Mar 12, 2008 at 2:05 PM | Vendors are allowed | Add to My Watchlist | Flag As Inappropriate

6 Answers This question is closed for answers.

Mar 12, 2008 at 2:31 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I think it would only be fair to ask them to participate, and explain if they choose not to do so there would be no problem. Make sure you have a back-up plan.

Married: 08/02/2008
Mar 12, 2008 at 4:12 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I know you want to make everyone happy, but the only person you please is yourself. My fiance had the same trouble. His mom told him he had to choose one of his brothers as his bestman. Everyone else was telling him it was his decision and to choose who he wanted to. I even suggested having both his brothers be his bestman. He got hismelf all stressed out over this. So in the end he chose to have both his brothers be his bestman. My advice is do what you want to do. Like you said it's your second wedding. You may want something just a little different from the first one (besides the groom that is!) and this may be it. I would talk it over with your sisters and tell them your resonings behind your decision that way you don't have all this tension throughout planning your big day. Good luck, have fun, and follow your heart with what you want to do not what everyone else wants you to do!

Taylor Made Invites

Taylor Made Invites
Mar 12, 2008 at 8:40 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
You did a great job explaining how you feel here - let them know those same things and they can't help but to be understanding.
Good Luck!

Married: 07/06/2007
Reviews: 5
Mar 12, 2008 at 8:53 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I Like the previous posts said, its your decision in the end. I seems to me like you really want your friend to stand next to you otherwise you would have gone the other route. I would probably go with my friend and have my sisters involved with something else, maybe do a reading or something else. Something else I would consider is pictures, I personally wouldn't want to see pictures of my previous wedding with my sisters and then my recent one with my sisters in it as well. Just something I thought I'd throw out there, it may not really matter, but for me it would.

Married: 10/25/2008
Reviews: 1
Mar 13, 2008 at 8:29 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I am in a similar situation, with this being my second marriage. My sister was my maid of honor 25 years ago, but since she is my only sister, I still wanted to have her apart of the wedding, just not the one standing right next to me. So, I picked my daughter to be my maid of honor and my sister as my Matron of Honor, and that is all the attendants that I am having. My daughter will stand next to me and then my sister.

You could tell them that they are special to you and want them to be a part of your celebration but don't want to put them through the whole "bridesmaid" responsibilities. If they say they don't "mind and would be honored" than let them be there for you. Maybe they will want to be a part of the ceremony in a different, less stressful way (like the last poster said). I know if my sister was in the same situation I would want to at least be considered.

Good luck and congratulations on your second chance at happiness!

Married: 09/27/2008
Mar 14, 2008 at 2:37 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
This will be my second wedding, too. I understand how you feel. I would just explain to your sisters how you feel and why you chose to not have them be a BM. I'm sure that they will understand. Your reason for not having them in your wedding in truthful. Good luck.
 

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