wedding party

Photo: Riverland Studios

“Don’t stress about wedding planning—it all comes together!” We’ve all heard that advice from our married friends. Easier said than done, right? With my wedding three months away, I’ve caught myself worrying about details that just don’t matter much in the grand scheme of things.


Color Coordination
Is my bouquet ribbon the exact same shade of blue as our place cards? Will these dinner napkins clash with the bridesmaid dresses? Whoa. There’s nothing wrong with sticking to a color scheme, but there is such a thing as being too matchy-matchy. If one decorative element is a couple shades lighter or darker than another, that’s OK.

Evening Out the Wedding Party
You do NOT have to have an equal number of bridesmaids to groomsmen. Yes, 20 on one side and two on the other might look a bit odd, but six versus eight? Totally fine. Don’t leave someone you love out of or loop someone you have mixed feelings about into your wedding party just to even out the sides, and certainly don’t waste a lot of energy stressing over it.

Day-Of Swag
I was sitting at my computer analyzing fonts for our cocktail napkins when I realized, “are people really going to notice or care whether our monogram is in script or block?” Um, no, definitely not. Customized materials like cocktail napkins, coasters, and matchbooks are great but they’re supposed to be a fun little bonus—not something to over-think.

The Weather
If you’re planning an outdoor wedding, it’s natural to stress a bit about potential rain or oppressive heat. But worrying about something you can’t control isn’t productive. Instead, work with your wedding planner to come up with a solid Plan B.

Guest Behavior
Worried that your crazy uncle will go on one of his rants or your divorced parents will get in a tiff? Here’s the good news: people tend to be on their best behavior at weddings. They don’t want to ruin your big day, and that means they’ll save their drama for another time. If you’re really concerned, talk to a close family member or friend about it and have him or her be on alert just in case.

The Playlist
It’s fine to give your band or DJ a song list or at least some guidance (a couple “must plays” here, a few “do NOT plays” there) but don’t be too rigid about it. At the end of the day, it’s best to leave it to the pros. Trust that your band or DJ will play the right songs at the right times based on the feel and flow of the party.

Day-Of Timeline
This is where your wedding planner or venue event manager can be really, really helpful. Consult with him or her and write out a detailed order of events—it will make you feel a lot better and you can always tweak it as the big day gets closer.