Too much? - Roles cards / Bridal Party

Are you not going to have a day of timeline? That is more than sufficient to give the details of where to be when etc. I think you could send a cute "reminder" email the week before with a list of things they may need, I don't think that would make me mad as a bridesmaid.

That is waaaaay extra. Honestly this is the first time I've ever seen this idea of straight up giving written demands to the WP.

Role: stand next to person getting married

Financial expenses: buy a dress/rent a suit

That's it.

Jeee-zus. Im exhausted and I don't even have to be one of your bridesmaids

Ouch, yes, this is way over the top.

You're giving one of these to your parents and your FH'S parents? Oh my. They'll tell you what they want their role to be for your wedding. You don't get to decide that for them. As for the bridesmaids, I agree with practically everyone else. If I were to get one then I'd probably decline being a bridesmaid because I'd figure that you were going to get a lot more high maintenance down the line. (Like telling me exactly what kind of bachelorette I'd be paying for and exactly how much you expect me to spend) Even if you had no intention of being that way, that's the type of attitude these cards convey.

View Quoted Comment ^^^This.
OP, I get it. I like to have lists and things written out, I do it for myself all the time. And for my wedding I wrote tons of lists- what I needed to do, when I needed to do it, etc. BUT, your BP doesn't need all this information, especially at first. Ask them to stand beside you, or write a cure note about how much they mean to you to ask; either way you can tell them how you want them to be next to you, help you wipe away happy tears, and dance their butts off. Ask for dress budgets individually, then pick a dress (or a length, color, several styles, whatever your doing) and tell them. A week before or so, give them a day of (or weekend! I included Friday night for the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner) timeline. You can email or text these things. You can give them a printed out timeline if you really want. (I prefer digital because of search features and I almost always have my phone!)
But giving these cards right away would take me aback as a BM. I know it's not what you intend, but I'd be left wondering what else you were going to dump on me. (And I'm organized and like lists!) If they ask you for more info, by all means go to your lists and send it to them. But to do it off the back would seem very extra.

cake of positivity because I have nothing good to say about this idea, it's way extra and way bad.

I think the majority you could skip but last year my fiancé and I were in a friends wedding and when we got to the hotel early Friday afternoon we were given a 'gift bag' with water bottles, snacks, etc.. but it also included a schedule card which I actually really liked! It started with our rehearsal, then to the dinner, then the following events of the next day of the wedding. It was pretty cool to have that and since everyone was staying on different floors of the hotel we all knew when and where to meet up for things and didn't have to worry about texting around asking anyone questions.

If i gave this to my MOH and BP, they would have dipped out before having the chance and i'd have no one standing by me on my wedding day. this is a cute idea in theory... but just use an email, or text message...

also, i would definitely be upset if i learned i had to pay for my own hair and makeup by the artists you've booked... for them to do their makeup adds almost 160$ per person that they would have to add to their probably already hefty travel and attire budget... sorry OP, but this is a fail. it could end so much worse than you think it could...

View Quoted Comment

But OP doesn't appreciate us giving answers that don't agree with what she wanted to hear, natch.

No one is more extra than Dolores Umbridge.

Teehee

Take those role cards and hand them out to your subjects with tea and crumpets. Tea always softens the blow of demands.

*Dementor kisses and best wishes!*

This is awful. I wouldn't appreciate it and would be really annoyed.

Linda Love does not Love this.

While I can see that you have good intentions with this, it does seem a bit much. Also, I see that the above is an example and I hope you don't demand your bridesmaids to wear a specific type of shoe as that's an additional expense that they don't need.

Honestly, what duties do you even have for them? Don't do this.

If you handed this to me, I would hand it right back.

C'mon, let's give the kid a break. This is 5 pages (on the app at least) of people saying over and over not to do it a day after she asked. No, no one is being rude but I'm sure her phone is buzzing everytime with someone telling her not to do it. I think she knows the consensus.

I would never do this...but that’s just my personality. I do not like asking people to do things. That’s why I have a wedding coordinator.

View Quoted Comment A) It's insulting you referred to her as a kid.

B) you know how it goes on here. If she didn't want to be bombarded with replies, she shouldn't have posed a question to the internet.

I get where you're coming from, OP, as I'm a very organized person as well. I love checklists, binders of properly organized information, calendars, etc.

That being said, just because I need things written out to feel organized doesn't mean your BP, or parents, need the same thing. I'm not going to comment on your example since your real-life cards are supposedly different, but I wouldn't copy much of your example. Telling them their "role," giving them an unnecessarily extra contact sheet, basically telling them they'll be planning a bachelorette party/bridal shower, and telling them to give you their size is too much.

If you're going to give them something, write them a note explaining why you love them and want them with you on your bid day. You absolutely can, and should, provide some kind of timeline of where they need to be, etc. on the day of, but you typically won't have all of this info until 1-2 weeks before the wedding. How informational would this really be if it has TBD all over it? Initially, just tell them where and when the wedding is and call it good. You can also give everyone each other's info, but I'd check with them if they even want it to begin with. All of my BMs did end up asking for each others' info and began a group chat with each other, but I didn't decide that for them ahead of time.

Also, some advice: Post what you're ACTUALLY going to say to them. If you don't want people commenting on the wording of an example, then post what you're actually going to say so people can give accurate advice. If your mind is already made up, then why are you even asking?