Skip to main content

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

edecker
Super December 2024

Too much? - Roles cards / Bridal Party

edecker, on December 20, 2017 at 3:36 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 166

bridal cards

Is it being bridezilla/extra of me to provide cards to my bridal party with their duties, details for the day, their attire, and (to be frank) what we expect them to pay for? I created one of these for Parents of the Bride, Parents of the Groom, Bridesmaids, and the Groomsmen. I've seen people include these with their Bridal party gifts, but was wondering if anyone else had experience with this or thinks maybe its too demanding? The picture below is from Pinterest:


Too much? - Roles cards / Bridal Party 1

166 Comments

Latest activity by T P, on May 4, 2018 at 2:36 PM
  • PandaInLove
    Expert August 2017
    PandaInLove ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    This is highly unnecessary. They are your friends not employees and are honoring you by being a key witness to your upcoming union. Simply asking them to be your bridesmaids is fine. The cards are just way too much.

    • Reply
  • LB
    Champion November 2016
    LB ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I think it would for sure make me feel some kinda way if I got these in my BM proposal. Way too much and a little offensive. A simple email describing what needs to be done is sufficient (and really should just include buying the dress and when to show up).

    • Reply
  • FutureMrsKC
    Master January 2019
    FutureMrsKC ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    A complete waste of money. Paper is expensive. If you have a DOC she/he will make a timeline, you can give this to bridal party.

    I think this is too much. Telling your bridal party what to pay for? They don't have to pay for anything except their attire (maybe) and to show up. It's their job to decide if they want to pay for/plan anything else.

    As far as an introduction card, totally not needed. Maybe invite them all over for dinner? If not, I've been in weddings where I didn't know the BMs personally but I knew of them and it was fine. If we are that close chances are I know so and so is your cousin and so and so is your college friend, etc.

    The our day card? That info could be on your wedding website and you can direct people there if they have questions.

    The your role card? Too cute, in a gross way. And unnecessary. I know I need to stand by your side, wipe your tears, yada yada...

    Don't get me started on the attire card...asking BMs their sizes? Sheesh. Some people aren't comfortable with telling others and honestly, you don't need to know to "start scouting". Send them/take them to Davids Bridal to get sized, they will keep it on file. When they are ready to buy the store will have all of their info.

    • Reply
  • Meaghan
    VIP November 2017
    Meaghan ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I think this would be a little too demanding and too much. Please also check in with each of your bridesmaids as to what their budgets are, and pick dresses accordingly.

    • Reply
  • Mrs.Whooooo
    Master May 2017
    Mrs.Whooooo ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    While whats listed on the card doesn't seem all that bad, its still a bit much. Your friends are adults, and the bachelorette party part is kinda rude, to me, implying they have to plan one for you. They don't. If they do, great, but its not required.


    You're also WAY too far out to be asking. Ask them 6-8 months out, not a year a half out.


    • Reply
  • J
    Dedicated July 2018
    janet ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Please no peep toes? Is that a thing you can demand ?

    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Master June 2016
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    This is super extra and unnecessary. If I received this card, even if you were my best friend, I’d decline being in the wedding.
    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    Master September 2018
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I don't see where the demanding part comes in? The 'Your Role' card is cute and doesn't demand anything other than them being by your side that day. I don't think they are necessary but they are cute.

    • Reply
  • C
    Savvy December 2018
    C_Law2018 ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I feel like it's a little extra, I've been in a handful of weddings and a schedule of activities sent via email so that I could easily refer back to it is about all I needed.

    • Reply
  • Ms.Fox
    VIP May 2018
    Ms.Fox ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Yea.. this is going to come off poorly. It’s very unnecessary, I’d skip it. You should be able to clearly communicate with your bp without cutesy cards.
    • Reply
  • VC
    Super April 2018
    VC ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Agree with PPs - highly unnecessary and excruciatingly over the top.

    I'd probably dislike you if i were in the party. You DEFINITELY don't need to remind your girls to dance, and "know you love them". If you've treated them appropriately throughout the wedding planning, they should know that already! OY!


    • Reply
  • Pegs
    VIP July 2018
    Pegs ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    You'll think I'm nuts but I actually don't mind this. I'm also extremely organized and somewhat bridezilla like so I need to know what is going on at all times lol I wouldn't take offense to this being in the wedding party.

    • Reply
  • Mrsbdg
    Champion August 2017
    Mrsbdg ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Are you paying your bridesmaids...like a salary?

    • Reply
  • OG Maria
    Savvy September 2017
    OG Maria ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    This is super over the top. All necessary info can be conveyed (and much more efficiently) in an email or group chat. Do an intro email in the beginning and a day-of timeline about a week or 2 before the wedding.

    Get rid of the "your role" and "attire" altogether. THEY decide whether they throw a bach and attend, not you. The other little comments are cutesy but unnecessary. These are your friends, not your employees. Cute sentiments can be shared in a nicer way than a card titled "your role."

    Attire should be discussed in advance and is ideally a discussion, not an edict you hand down to them.

    • Reply
  • OGJessieJV
    Master July 1867
    OGJessieJV ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    If I got one of these I'd be letting you know that I was unavailable for the next year.

    • Reply
  • HockeyGirl
    Dedicated June 2018
    HockeyGirl ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    It's a lot much IMO, and, honestly, would turn me off from being a BM. Most of those details will A) change over the course of your planning; B) be covered by your invitations, which etiquette dictates you give to the BP; and C) be lost if they're given too early. However, I do think it's a good idea to give them each other's contact information, after they've all accepted.

    • Reply
  • edecker
    Super December 2024
    edecker ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    I am the same way that's why I was making them lol. I think PP's are taking it the wrong way, its meant to be a way to communicate effectively because having a card that has all the information is easier than trying to remember what was said or searching back for a text.

    • Reply
  • Kristen328
    Super September 2018
    Kristen328 ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    This is super unnecessary. Save your money!
    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Master June 2016
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Everyone is taking it how they would take it if it was presented to them. Literally no one can take it the wrong way if they’re giving their own personal opinion on something you asked for opinions on.
    • Reply
  • Munchkin9218
    Master September 2018
    Munchkin9218 ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    That may be your intent but it comes across as you being pushy and micro managing them.

    Skip it - its only going to turn people off.


    ETA: I agree - You asked our opinion and how we would take it if presented a card like this. I would be annoyed that the bride thinks I cannot manage myself or the information given me and that I was being policed in certain things - such as no peep toes shoes - etc.

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

WeddingWire article topics