Too much? - Roles cards / Bridal Party

All I did for my girls is give them a tumbler and wrote out a card for each of them letting them know why I value them. Then I asked them. I just talk about dresses with them in the group chat we have. This would be unnecessary. I would skip it.

This is way too much.

You know what I told my girls outfit wise? "Hey, wear whatever black shoes you feel comfortable in" that was said over text. I never asked their size because that is not my business. I sent them dress options I liked and asked their honest feedback.

The role card is weird.

If this was in a BMs proposal box I received I would be concerned about you becoming a bridezilla (your words) and likely decline. This is tewww much. eta: Most of the information is useful, but the presentation is really formal and excessive.

That would be a hard eye roll for me. No thanks.

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I agree with the majority. This is tewww much. I understand that you're wanting to communicate all of this info to them, but most people are telling you that it would rub them the wrong way. But if you're already making them...do you, I guess.

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I agree. When I get a list of what my "role" is, it tends to come with a contract and a salary...because it's a job.

Your intentions may be good but it does come off as pushy and micromanaging. I create a FB group for everyone to be able to talk amongst each other as needed. Also unless the venue requires no peep toe shoes, it comes off as overly picky to ban a certain style of shoe.

Also, please don't vent to your BP. That's what your FS is there for. Your BP has their own lives, drama, stress, and planning into getting to your day. Lamenting wedding planning will just grate their nerves.

Way too much... While I only had a couple of issues with what is actually written on the "Your Role" card, it sets the wrong tone for what you are expecting of them.

eta: they shouldn't need a list to know they need to show up in their dress and stand by your side.

The bachelorette part is a huge turn off for me. The "TBD" bits are hilarious. Why give them note cards without complete information? Skip it. You can communicate all the details to them individually or in a group message of some kind.

I feel like maybe you have something like this written down for you and maybe you show that to everyone when you go over plans for the wedding with them?

I think it's good to have a record of what you will need help on, what everyone in the party is expected to provide for themselves vs what you are providing them, but I don't think you really need to give everyone a copy unless they ask for one.

Not everyone in my wedding party can put in the same amount of effort and that may or may not change over time as 2 get closer to the date.

Seems like you are pretty set on doing this, but I agree with PPs. If I got this as a bridesmaid I would probably roll my eyes.

Can I ask, why do you need their dress sizes in order to begin shopping? As a bridesmaid I have always ordered my own dress once the specific dress has been decided. I know some people don't feel comfortable sharing their clothing size with other people. Also, every bridesmaid dress I have ever worn has been a different size than my normal street size.

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I did the same - I asked them to just wear any nude colored shoe they had - I did suggest flats or wedges since the ceremony is outside - but its not required by any means.

I did the same for the dress - We all decided on a shop/website and then I picked a fabric, length and color. The girls can order any dress in their price range from that basic info.

You don't need all the extras - these are adults and can handle themselves.

ETA: Also - I just saw the line about where you include what you expect them to pay for - DO NOT mention money at all except to ask for their budget. You cannot EXPECT them to pay for anything besides their dress. Any Bahcelorettes or showers are not required and if someone offers great - but you cannot expect. If you want them to have hair and make up professionally done or you want certain shoes - you pay. Otherwise don't ask them to pay for anything.

The cards in the picture are from pinterest as an EXAMPLEEEE PP's are taking them way to literally reading into sizing of dresses and the exact roles written on there. The ones I wrote out are much kinder, way less specific and more along the lines of information cards than demands. IDC about any of my BP's sizes or shoe choices, its the idea of presenting them with cards with all the information they will need.

Being in a wedding party is not so complicated that you need a guide to have handy at all times. You buy a dress, there's generally a rehearsal and/or dinner the night before, there's hair and makeup in the morning, and the ceremony and reception sometime in the afternoon/evening. All of this is just a waste and kind of insulting, actually.

Definitely extra. The "role" card would rub me the wrong way...

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Either way - informational cards are over the top and not needed. skip it.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I'd run away, lol.

I still stand by my original comment...too much, IMO.

View Quoted Comment This^^. This is super unnecessary.

I think it's just a waste of money because they will look at it once and then either lose it or throw it away

I'm pretty sure if you're asked to be a bridesmaid you can just google what your expected to do.