Too much? - Roles cards / Bridal Party

I did something similar to this because someone I know that just got married had to deal with BM not wanting to pay for things that they should be and not wanting to attend certain events. So I did it a little differently but pretty much the same thing. Just allowing them to understand being a BM is a job, but that I appreciate and love them for standing by my side through the whole experience. That way the expectations are laid out right away. I gave it to them in their BM proposal.

I think as a bridesmaid in previous weddings it was nice to know how much I was going to need to pay for a certain wedding, just because I'm a student and it took me awhile to save up money- but I don't think the cards would have quite been the most beneficial way to get the ideas across. I personally would pass on something like this.

View Quoted Comment I definitely agree with discussing finances personally with each lady. It was a group message telling us we would have to come up with $1,200 in a few months for a 2 day bachelorette party (I was originally told it's only be a few hundred) and I felt before uncomfortable telling to MOH I wouldn't be able to come up with quite that much in such a short time. Although your bridesmaids definitely agree to stand by you and pay certain things for the wedding, there are some things that seem a little extra or unobtainable for certain people.

Honestly, the schedule and locations are super helpful. The "Duties" is excessive and rude. I would be offended if I was handed that. They aren't your employees.

Seems pretty demanding. I vote no to the cards.

I'm doing this for my bridesmaids! Mostly because I want them to know 100% what is expected, so I'm not panicking when they can't do things closer to the wedding. I even added a section with average dress cost, hotel cost, and flight cost. I don't want any last minute surprises, and it's harder for people to back out last minute when they've known what they needed to commit to for months.

I dont understand why people think this is a good idea. I legit don't..I'm having such a hard time wrapping my head around this. if someone agrees to be in the BP, they know what to do. They are not hired employees. If I received this, I'd be highly offended and probably end the relationship due to the bridezilla moment. There is an expectation as a BM that there will be some type of cost involved and if you can't afford it, politely decline the offer.

There will always be last minute surprises, because that's what happens in life. You can't plan for everything, every minute of the wedding planning process. Good luck OP

I think it's kind of cute TBH, as long as it's all in a nice way!

I think all that information is very important! I think maybe an e-mail would be a little less.... demanding if you will. Or kind of go over it with them and ask if it would be helpful to type it all up for them to have on hand

It feels like homework. Hard no.

Role card was cute....nothing wrong with day of details....but a tad bit demanding

I'm actually a little upset that you basically called ancourthouse wedding not a real wedding. Now THAT is rude. But also ditch the cards.

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100% agree.

I'd like to be provided with the schedule (moreso would like it electronically, though), but I don't like the roles card. Seems a little too cheesy for me and almost insulting to the girls' intelligence because all the stuff on that card are self-explanatory. When someone is a bridesmaid they know they will stand beside you and help with some wedding planning details, and should throw you a bachelorette and/or shower (but it's not actually required as part of the role). If you have more specific duties you need help with by one or all of your girls, put it in an email with the schedule.

I think it's a cute idea for your bridesmaids as long as you don't come across as bossy or demanding. It seems like these are just for information only not a list of instructions. The "your role" one is cute!

The only card I approve of and think is kinda cool is the "My Ladies" card. Personally, I'm planning on doing a photo with my girls, where they each hold up signs stating how we met/why we're friends. Other than that, I think the other three cards are a bit excessive/unnecessary. Your girls will inevitably know the plans for the day ahead of time, and what they don't know, they will learn at the rehearsal. As for "The Attire" card, all of this can be texted/emailed the color-scheme/dress preference. Save your money! These things are expensive... unless you've already ordered them. As for their "role", they are not your employees. No matter how "cute" the wording is, this card sounds demanding and similar to a job requirement list. I'd nix the majority of this idea if I were you.

I think it is a little extra, but I do like the contact card, I would include those with a sample of the colors of the wedding/ gowns. I would also add on there who was with who so they can all contact each other! After seeing this I would like to do it!

EXTREMELY unnecessary. They aren't obligated to pay for anything other than their attire. "your role" sheesh you're making it seem like a paying job. Im more than certain people in your bridal party know what being a bridesmaid entails. and the attire.... im pretty sure you guys talk and will go dress shopping together. The only one that seems good is the "Our day" one

View Quoted Comment If i had a BM not wanting to pay for things then id ask them straight up... Do you want to be in the bp. because that means having to do xyz and if you dont no big deal

A bridesmaid buys her dress (having been consulted privately about her budget); that is her total expense. Anything else you want her to wear, you buy--including getting hair and makeup done, shoes, jewelry. She shows up on time, sober, in the dress, and smiles in the pictures. That is the sum of her responsibilities.