Too much? - Roles cards / Bridal Party

Our day details? Great idea. It would be super helpful for planning purposes to have this ahead of time - though if this info is already on your wedding website, it's redundant.

The other three sheets are unnecessary.

As a bridesmaid, I'd enjoy it honestly. I want to know what I'm getting into and would enjoy seeing who else is in the party. The attire & your role are borderline, you could probably condense those into one or scratch them all together.

"Is it being bridezilla/extra of me to provide cards to my bridal party with their duties, details for the day, their attire, and (to be frank) what we expect them to pay for?"

I think going over the details for the day with your bridal party will be nice, that way there will be no confusion. I would go over it with them in person, you never know, there may be something that you're missing. Once you discuss it and make it final, you can print it out, and hand it to each one of them.

The rest is being very extra. I think just going it over with them during a lunch or dinner will be fine. Hope this helps.

To be honest this is too much

Don't do this. It is unnecessary and may be off-putting to your bridal party.

Have a private discussion with each of your BMs individually about their ideas, what they're thinking, and what their budget for a dress would be. Do not set a budget for them and don't assume that they will be able to afford what you're expecting them to afford. Money is a sensitive issue and privately discussing what they're willing and able to pay for is something important that, in my experience, brides tend to ignore. I think you have good intentions in that you just want to be organized, but a simple talk with them is enough.

Good luck!

I did something like this, but I kept it simple, on one card, on the back of the colloquial, "will you be my bridesmaid?" With a sort of role outline. I don't think it is over the top, I think it is organized..

I haven't read through all of the 133 comments, but I'm going to add my two cents.

After actually reading the cards, I don't see anything out of the ordinary. You aren't actually asking them to do anything except show up for the rehearsal (which shouldn't be a deal breaker if they can't), show up for the ceremony, buy the dress you want, and no peep toe shoes. While I don't think that you should choose the shoe unless you pay for it, I don't really see a huge problem with requesting the no peep-toe, even if it is a bit weird. You aren't asking them to buy anything except the dress. And accommodations, of course. You offer the HMUA if they want to, but they don't have to.

However, with that being said, I do think this is a bit overboard. Not because I think you are sending out demand letters, but it just seems like too much. At 100 days out from my own wedding, I can assure you that all of these topics on your card have been addressed, in person, over the phone, or by email/text with my BP. Usually multiple times. (Not because I remind them, but one person will ask for clarification on X and another for something about Y.) It sounds really cute right now because you and in the early stages of planning, but I can assure you it is really not necessary and is a bit of an overkill.

So while I don't think anything you have on those cards qualifies as "Bridezilla" territory, I still think the cards themselves are just a bit much. Once you get full-steam into planning and organizing, you will see what I mean. Everyone will know "their role" and what's going on without this card. Besides, you'll be shocked at how much changes between the beginning of your planning and the actual day. Half of what you put on that card may no longer be relevant.

I'd just skip the cards. They will get all of that information organically as the planning process continues.

I just want to commend you for your desire to be organized and transparent. I think that this could definitely be communicated in an email, and I wouldn't include what to pay; that can be communicated face-to-face to your bridesmaids and other people involved in the wedding. I think an email would be good because it's one place that has all the information they need on it. As a self-proclaimed "super J" (Myers-Briggs speak), I would really appreciate it.

You mentioned how cool it was to use the forums with real brides, then ignore all their opinions? The new card is worse. If you're going to do it, just do it. Remove the "turned away" portion.

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I love this so much.

I might have to steal this idea

I did the same thing!! I feel you girl. Power to the type A bride. I used this same one from Pinterest for help making mine and printed them on brown cardstock and then put them together with ribbon. It just adds to the box I think and makes things organized. At least I see it that way.

If anything, I'd only give the "my ladies" and "our day" cards with something super simple saying where (especially with a destination wedding- in my case)... The rest seems super control freakish and overbearing- especially being that far out from your wedding date. I gave my girls a box early, as early as you and I made it simple and not specific (as anything can change)! I find putting costs of hair etc. on things in a formal written paper is tacky. I believe the hair etc. is sort of expected that you would have to pay for it as an optional thing IF you choose to. Down the line you will have opportunity to discuss further matters that would include costs of things etc. Happy planning!

Both of our families know yes. However I will be the first in my family to have a wedding where everyone is invited and where there is a bridal party. (ie: not a courthouse or elopement wedding - not that those aren't valid because they are) None of my bridesmaids will have been bridesmaids before and that is why I found these cards especially necessary.

Umm. Yeah. There's a difference between being organized and controlling. This is being controlling. I would definitely decline being in the wedding party. If I were your best friend, I would probably make fun of you for being an over the top bridezilla until you realized your mistake. I think it is ok to give someone a specific task but in person and definitely not in advance of them asking how they can help you. Your WP are not in your employ, nor are they accessories to make your wedding pictures perfect.

Your idea is not as bad/offensive as some of these comments state - it’s not like you’re telling them what they can and can’t do. But it’s rare that these are handed out to the wedding party. I would just hand out a general timeline for the wedding weekend and keep it at that

While I love the organization and I feel like this is something that I would "want" to do. I think it comes off a bit "bridezilla".

I get the idea for the timeline, but the example timeline really doesn't tell them anything specific yet, since you don't know an exact time or location for many things, so it seems pointless until way closer to your date when you can say "rehearsal dinner is at _pm at ___ restaurant and Makeup starts at 8am for Sally," etc. For that reason I'd skip it. And the roles while some may find it cute is entirely necessary and non-informative, which would personally bug the crap out of me "like why I am getting this useless piece of paper telling me to look beautiful?" But a card is also easily lost, sharing a google spreadsheet with the ACTUAL DETAILED timeline the week or two before your wedding is really much easier for everyone to find and use.

Short answer, yes this is extra.

I personally don't see anything wrong with this, I did something quite similar to my bridesmaid proposals although I did not include what they would pay for, etc. But I have discussed it with them and I honestly like it, it gives them the budget they need and what to expect. Now if it's "Hey you're buying and paying for this completely useless thing and you HAVE to" that's rude but it's obvious they're most likely gonna be buying a dress and attending your bachelorette, you're just giving structure to it.

All in all, you know your bridesmaids better than anymore... I know mine wouldn't find something like this offensive, they would find it more helpful than anything. You just have to know your audience and also, your day, your wedding... DO WHAT YOU WANT.. if you can afford it, do it.. If you want it, get it.

No one in these articles is footing your bill and they're not the one getting married at YOUR wedding so do you girl