The difference between being mean and being truthful...

Some people are naturally just blunt. I grew up like you - taught to be as polite as possible, even if I don't agree. I feel like if I'm bitchy with people, they're just going to tune me out, so why bother? But yeah, some people just day it like it is, I guess it depends on the person? =/

The difference is called 'tact'. Many people confuse being truthful and honest with being rude and inconsiderate.

I think it comes down to intent - I can usually tell when someone's being straight with me because they care, or if they're just trying to put me in my place or drag me down so they feel better about themselves.

The difference comes from your motivations. I can be bluntly honest with someone and they take it in a good way because they know I say (whatever I am saying) out of love. It depends on who I am talking to though. I know that some people just want to hear what they want and will tune out anything but that and don't bother even trying to tell them something else.

I agree Brandi, and it's very upsetting to me. My husband and I have taught our children to be polite and respectful...even when crossing the street! I always try to "tell the truth in love"; unless I'm in an all out screaming fight with someone...then I'm not nice (and always regret it)

Brandi- referring to anyone particular? There are a couple of people who post on here that seem to be "know-it-alls" and every chance they get they post rude, blunt, opinions of their own- not fact not useful information- just rude opinions that are typically worthless. And to be honest when they post anything most of the time I find them laughable because they show how lonely and pathetic they are by being mean to others.

Yes, I have to agree with you ladies. I really can't believe some of the things that come out of people's mouths. I also can't believe the reasoning behind their excuses for saying it in the first place. I'm just like, wow, where are people's morals and consideration for others. I don't see very much of that anymore and it's sad watching the ways that people treat each other. It's like people are out to get each other, rather than help each other out.

@ Kelly, I have noticed that

@Kelly you are so right! I just read their posts & SMH!!! Some people are just mean!!

Oh, thats what this is about? Sorry, I'm not a fan of these "WW is so meeeeaan!" posts. Sure, we'd all love to skip and hold hands and sing together, but life just doesn't work that way, especially when there are a lot of differing opinions.

Personally, if I have an issue with someone's post, I either respond directly to them, or PM them. These "let's all be nice because I was raised to be NICE!" posts usually cause more drama than they resolve.

In the spirit of directly speaking to someone who has offended you: Brandi, I personally consider it very rude for you to question anyone's "morals" because they don't say things the same way that you would do. I consider myself a very moral person - and, as such I don't engage in sugarcoating or a**-kissing.

I agree with you Brandi, this is a point that gets lost on a lot of people; sugarcoating and common courtesy are NOT the same thing..I think I know what you are referring to, but I do agree with Shannon to a certain extent, I stated my opinion in that thread and just left it there; hopefully this won't lead to more drama, as I'm sure that's not what you intended.

Also I know may seem pretty obvious that someone was being rude, but we must remember not to interpret text, if we heard people speak it aloud we may have a totally different impression. :-)

For some women, being a b*tch is being truthful. Just like with some men, there truth can typically be considered as being an a**hole.

I find it funny (on this site), that a lot of people come off as "rude" or "bitchy", and the minute someone defends themselves, or whom they perceive to be a victim, they're quickly called a "troll" or "trouble maker". I was raised to believe that "it's not what you say, but how you say it" that determines the reaction of a comment or opinion.

It's interesting that so many woman, from so many backgrounds expect others to be on their same level of thinking, or "etiquette", lmao @ that, I even expect it at times. My overall feeling about certain goings-on on this site, when it comes to drama, don't dish it if you can't take it, and always expect someone to feel free to defend the “under dog”…. Nonetheless, I love the forums and giving advice no matter what the situation. If I come “out the gate”, bitchy or rude, let me know, I stay ready!

Brandi, you are right. I am a firm believer in being able to say how I feel about something without coming across as being rude. I can't imagine in real life some of these people saying things they say on the internet. If they are really that outspoken or blunt as they like to say then I couldn't imagine wanting to be around them.

Shannon, it's not about everyone skipping and holding hands. Its about having respect for other people. If I start a thread on here asking for opinions, I would expect to get them and not be bashed. You can be direct and still not tell someone that they are ridiculous or to get over themselves.

*sigh*

I agree that it is how it is handled. It is truly fine, and non-bitchy, to be honest. When comments are hurtful, that is a different animal.

A lot of times, I preference my honest opinion with, "I respectfully disagree." Or, "Well, personally, this is how I feel."

My friends all know not to ask my opinion, unless the truly want it, but I do not hurt feelings when I tell them something they may not really want to hear.

@ Shannon, First of all, I did not once say that this is about ww. This is my thought in general. Yes, some people have been saying some things on here, but I actually made this post after witnessing something non wedding realted today. I also did not once say that "ww is sooo mean." So can you please stop putting words in my mouth. Nobody on this site has peronally offended me, so there is no need for a pm. I am just posting my opinion and asking for the opinons of others. I am not saying for everyone to hold hands and skip along because I know that's unrealistic. All I'm saying is that I can't believe some of the unnecessary, rude things that come outta people's mouths. Obviously I offended you, and sorry if that's the case. I am not trying to cauuse drama, just saying what my thougths are and asking what others think. This post was not meant for you, so I really don't understand why why you are calling me rude. You just said that there are alot of different opinions, and sorry, but

This is mine. So you're seriously not making any sense to me. I'm not attacking you or any other particular person. This is something that I notice in people everywhere. I'm not just speaking of ww directly. Geez...

@Brandi, hey girl I think I assumed you were speaking about something I had read cuz the word" sugar coating" was tossed around a lot on that thread lol. sorry for any confusion! So nevermind :-)

I think some of the comments are made with malice and disguised as blunt. I believe that you should be able to give your honest opinion without being rude. I read some of the comments and I am completely turned off. It's amazing how people are so quick to say another bride is tacky, or immature when they exude the very thing that they are putting down. It is in poor taste not to have tact. You can criticize without being rude.

I agree with you ladies, I think that everyone is definately entitled to their opinion. After all, everyone has a different way of living their life. But gawsh, just be a little bit more polite about it. Even if people disagree, they can say it without hurting or putting down the other person. I've just really been thinking about this alot lately. I see this everywhere. Different beliefs are good. The world would be boring without them. I just wish that people would find a way to sorda respect the fact that people think differently and not make them feel like shit because of it. Idk, maybe it's pointless to even think about it

And I didn't make this particularly fow ww, just thinking about this in general. But, yes, I wil say, I do see it on here as well. I'd be lying if I said I didn't