TACKY WEDDING STUFF.....

Erin, food has to be prepared and served a certain way, kept at certain temperatures. Things can go bad really quick with certain foods being kept outside in warm temperatures for too long, for example anything with diary placed on a table for a long period of time in the heat. My FH is a fantastic griller, but could grill for a 150 people and what if he undercooked someone's food and they get sick? You can be liable for their medical bills, or they could just end up hating you for making them throw up.

Who is going to do the cooking and the serving? I am more than capable of making summer salsa and putting them out on the table, but it's my wedding why would I want to do that when I could be getting ready, relaxing before the wedding, or spending time celebrating with my friends and family. My dad is a retired chef who owned a catering company for years, would I want him working on my wedding day? No.

I started typing a response to what Erin said, but I'm glad you guys beat me to it. I just can't with this troll. ETA: words

@Erin: Nope. I just understand the science behind microbial reproduction and division, and how it affects the spoilage of food.

As for the listeria, most deli type foods, such as deli meats and salads, contain some listeria. Listeria is generally easily fought off by an adult's immune system and is typically not an issue. In pregnant women however, listeria can and does cause miscarriage, including late-term miscarriage, and still birth when it infects the baby. This is why doctors will tell their pregnant patients NOT to eat deli foods, or hot dogs, unless they are heated until they are steaming throughout first.

So yes, it is a VERY real chance, and you own the liability should it happen if you self cater.

Lol you ladies are too much get over yourselves.....honestly. So should we have our wedding in a bubble? So you won't go to a cookout? Or perhaps a company picnic? We are actually going all in and butchering our own pigs and poultry...so what say you? So also you're against buffets too? Haha give me a break

Am I the only one that thinks open seating is okay?

Jack and Jills-- NOT the idea of a coed shower, mind you-- I'm cool with that. The idea that people should buy raffle tickets to come to a party to celebrate someone else. Ug. Luckily, they are not popular where I live, so I've never been invited to one.

Oh, and registries with no low price items. A friend, back in 98, had a registry with nothing under $100.

Erin: and I'm the BSC one?

What am I doing? I'm having it professionally catered. Yes, we will have buffets, but they will be attended by trained, professional caterers who know what they're doing, so if people DO get sick, then at least we won't start our marriage with crippling debt from their medical bills and lawsuits for damages.

But you go for it, just remember that lawsuits can't be discharged in bankruptcy.

TiffanyGomez - I am pretty appalled that you couldn't even offer a congratulations to the bride and groom when they came to your table?! Saying congrats to the bride and groom is pretty standard. I can't imagine IGNORING them when the came for a table visit! You shouldn't have gone to the wedding if you didn't agree with the marriage. Wow.

Tacky - Stag and Doe parties (also known as Jack and Jills). They are wedding fundraising parties where the B&G invite anyone and everyone to raise cash for their wedding.

Jeans on guests.

Well, apparently WWJo didn't do much after all. I'm so disappointed in her...

Lol "Erin" just stop now. You're not going to win this battle.

One of my biggest pet peeves is open seating! For the love of God, please make a seating chart. I hate figuring out where to sit, especially if I barely know anyone there. It's extremely awkward. We had one this summer and I tried to find someone who looked friendly. Didn't work well. She slammed the bride and groom all throughout dinner.

And I see absolutely no problem with a head table, nor have I been to a wedding where there WASN'T a head table. It's, what, 45 minutes, tops? I have a wedding next weekend where FH is in the party. I think I'll make it through dinner without him by my side (luckily there is a seating chart and I'm with some awesome people). But even so, I don't get how it's tacky/rude, so I'm with a lot of pp on this.

Mna is far from BSC. Open seating is just asking for guests to be shuffling their chairs and joking groups that they know. Total cluster.

The last wedding I went to was a friend from high school and her then-fiancé who owned and operated a salsa dance company. They met when she signed up for lessons and their relationship obviously evolved from there. So at the reception, she had a total of 3 dresses (her wedding gown and then 2 salsa-competition styled outfits) and they had 3 dances. One was the traditional first dance, and then the other 2 were choreographed salsa-dances and they went on forever. They even did the whole "flying leap and twirl above your head while wearing a grown-up Toddlers and Tiaras dress and then slide across the floor" dance move. I can get behind one salsa-themed dance since that's how you met, but 2 was a bit much and to me was tacky.

She even texted me a couple weeks later and said "JUST a card with a gift card? No actual GIFT!? WOW!!!" and left me completely flabbergasted. I'm sorry that a $100 gift card to the store you listed as a 'favorite' was 'just a gift card' even though you stated on your invitation "no gifts necessary, just your love and presence".

Needless to say, we aren't friends anymore

Holy cow on the self-catering nonsense.

@mna I definitely wouldn’t have a problem if the head tables I had been a part of or witnessed had included the bridal party and their dates but that has never been the case. I was in one wedding with a sweetheart table and then the bridesmaids and groomsmen were paired with their dates and I thought that was a good setup.

@Jacks I can see your point there. I do think they can be inconsiderate which is why I don’t like them.

@Amanda that is just plain rude to send a text like that. And I can understand maybe one choreographed dance but that seems a little over the top and awkward for the guests to sit through.

Anything you make the guests pay. Having a bar that only pays until a certain amount, so if it goes up to $1000 the next guest suddenly is being charged.

Cowboy boots and camouflage.

I like head tables too but I see why some people like sweetheart tables. I don't feel passionately about that either way.

Honey Funds

Liz- I don't think it's tacky, it just makes things sometimes awkward with people milling about, or worse, running to get seats because one hasn't been reserved for them. I've been to weddings without seating plans and it was fine, but often FH and I don't really know where is appropriate to sit so it would be better for us to be told.

Oh god, I just saw Erin's comment about butchering her own wedding meats. Is bloodstained a new bridal look?

CMarie, a head table that includes spouses is commonly called a "Kings table". Those are fine.