No Money

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I looked for like 5 minutes for where OP talked about the buffet blowing up

We are basically in the same boat as you. Dfh is in school while I work full time/ extra. I have sold off a ton of stuff we had lying around the house that we never use. Tools, stored furniture and raised about $600 that way plus I work every extra shift I can. I had to give up a few things I wanted. Invitations of my choice were $100/ Walmart was $50 I know most people throw them away anyhow. Meanwhile I have done everything in my power to find the cheapest option that still will make me happy. My friends and family have been collecting free decorations that can be used... candles, tulle, burlap. It’s a struggle but I really want the date we picked and for me keeping the date is worth not having the invites I wanted 😁 you got this!!! Plus you have time on your side. Reasearch reasearch reasearch!!! Find the cheapest options minus being tacky

Also if you are still searching for a dress and going the online route. Search for white formal dresses. It drops the price by hundreds and they are the same dresses. No joke.

I think you have to decide what your priority is - is it having the wedding on your original date? Having all your friends and family there with all the bells and whistles? If it isn't possible to have both right now you have to make a decision that you will be happy with.

Our wedding is about $6.3k. Here is how we are saving money.
Dress: Lulu's. $84. Alterations will be in the $150 range. Consider buying a bridesmaids dress in white.
Food: Buffet from a local italian place. We are having some of their staff there for $12.99 a person. But without staff it's $8.99. You could find something similar.
Flowers: Skip these. Honestly not worth the expense. Either go fake, or very limited. Have corsages for the bridesmaids instead of bouquets. Which brings me to..
Bridal Party: Skip this. It's an added expense, you'll have to get them gifts, and they aren't necessary.
Venue: ours is at a park with a lodge. The cost is $800 for the whole day. Look up VFW halls, Civic centers, and parks. Find a place with a lot of windows and natural light, let it speak for itself and don't go overboard on decor.
Invites: Print them yourself or use a coupon for a place like Snapfish. Skip save the dates. Do online RSVP
Cake: Sheet cake.
Officiant: Use thumbtack.com
Photographer: Photo quality will suffer the cheaper it is, but that doesn't mean they have to be awful. A lot of college students with cameras would be happy to make a few hundred photographing your big day.

View Quoted Comment The honeymoon mattered more to us than a wedding. We wanted to go all out on a honeymoon more than a wedding because we’ve never gone on a trip together. Wedding: we could elope and do anything else just like all the Pp’s have said.
I came to express the struggle I’m having that I had a budget and it’s halved and then quartered again.

View Quoted Comment I’m glad you are understanding. It really is best for him and for us together that he focus on his school and I’m glad someone is here seeing that with me.
and the more I think about it, I do think it might be best to skip a RD in favor of getting help in a different way.
i am considering credit cards too, but I’m so anxious about debt I’d have to do a TON of research for it.

thank you for your comment. It was very kind, helpful and understanding.

View Quoted Comment Ohh, I’ll hve to look that up. Thank you for understanding. I’m excited for our marriage.

I agree with most of the responders. This is similar to my situation, although he is assisting to pay I do not want to be in debt for one day. I communicated with him how the honeymoon is not an immediate necessity and can wait until later in the year or next year. We travel often and usually plan a few trips a year, so it was no big deal for me. I just want to pay for all the expenses of the wedding and have a successful day. Adding the honeymoon right now creates too much additional stress for us and we still need to save, maintain our current lifestyle, and plan for the future. Personally the wedding expenses should be covered first and what ever is remaining can be used for a honeymoon.

it didn’t make sense to me to plan for the honeymoon before we were done with the wedding, especially if money is an issue.

View Quoted Comment I wanted extra things I hadn’t heard, and I got some of them. I saw some sympathy and some people saying “Same.” And someone asked why my parents weren’t helping which is why I mentioned it at all.
and the belittling comes in the comments about being young or him not helping.
the reason I came was for extra ideas, sympathy, people who relate in a community of brides. I got some of that.
i also got a sharp reminder that we are not much more than glorified party planners. And my honeymoon and future living situation are honestly more important to me than a wedding. If I had to get married in a paper bag and got to keep the honeymoon I want, then I’m honestly ok with that.
so this posting, while frustrating, had it’s bright spots and has ultimately pushed me closer to the conclusion that the wedding is second to the marriage.

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Me too - such a funny typo

View Quoted Comment Maybe instead of the rehearsal dinner talk to his parents and see if they would conteibuate the money to the wedding as opposed to that ...

Can you get a dress from David's bridal they have some insane now for under $200. Flake flowers hobby lobby has them on sale every other week at 50% off. Hobby lobby also has diy invite kits 50% off every other week. I used eBay and Amazon to buy my jewlery. Have you guys thought about not having a wedding party. Using candles as centerpieces instead of flowers. You could also find a local wedding Facebook group brides in your area are always selling discounted decor from their weddings. If you don't want a cake and lunch reception what about a brunch reception earlier in the day. You could also do an ealier wedding with heavy appetizers. You could try a park, VFW, elks Lodge or garden. In our area the state parks have pavillions or building that can be rented for less than $1000. I know you may be looking to cut the guest list but you can still Incorporate some of these things as well.

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I think you just answered your own question. Go the courthouse, get married and take your honeymoon. Do not ask his parents for any money, that is tacky. You are right that the marriage is way more important than the wedding.

TJ maxx online has a bridal section and inexpensive dresses.

View Quoted Comment I appreciate your help and advice. Thank you

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Again, if the honeymoon is more important, why even get married? Just take a trip. FI and I have been together 8 and 1/2 years, as I have stated. We finally took our first real vacation this past May that didn't have to do with a wedding or anything else. We want to go on another trip by the end of the year. If you want a trip, then go on a trip. No need to say it's a honeymoon and struggling to pay for your wedding.

Jessica, I couldn't quite make it through all the pages of comments, but some. I do think people should stop saying how they worked, and your fiance could, etc... You've already explained that situation well enough, and I think in the long run, his schooling is more important for long-term job prospects. And the two of you have made that decision, so it'd not on the table.

My nephew and his wife were married very inexpensively last May, even with about 120 guests. Her parents had already passed away, but her other aunts and uncles did what they could for her, within their budget. And it was self-catered, using the church kitchen, and it turned out wonderfully. (I know there's a huge backlash here against self-catering, but if people have a good kitchen to work in, and someone who knows what they are doing with food safety, it can turn out well.) Some churches even have a group of ladies who would like to provide meals in exchange for donations to their church cause. At least that used to be the case, and it sounds like you are in conservative church circles, where that might still be the case.

I do think you need to address with your in-laws lowering their guest count, too.

Have you considered doing say a 1 p.m. ceremony, with only punch and cake reception afterward?

That could be very pretty, and way less costly than feeding everyone a meal.

I'm rooting for you to figure this out!

OP I am sympathetic to the fact that you want to get married ASAP and I think you have dug yourself in a bit of a hole by making financial commitments to certain dates without budgeting properly for the rest (not necessarily directed at you, but for anyone lurking that may end up in that situation.) I understand that you have explained FH's school situation, but I am still not buying it. How many hours is he in school per week? If he can't balance school and a part-time job (joining Uber would allow him to create his own hours during the week and wouldn't affect his weekends with you) how is he going to balance work and caring for a child or ailing parent someday? Mine and FH parents didn't contribute to our wedding, nor do we expect them to, and we waited until we could have the wedding we wanted, then started planning. You need to either wait until you can have the wedding you can afford (which sounds like it would put you in a financial pickle at the moment) or scale way, way back. It is nice that everyone is giving suggestions about flowers and stationary but the only way you are going to make a significant cut to the budget is by cutting the guest list. 100 people is crazy for a wedding on a strict budget. Tell FMIL that she has 10 invites outside of immediate family and that's it. No pay, no say. Be firm with that. I hope you find a way to make this work.

I would wait until your FH finishes school and then gets a job. There is no way i could do all of that on my own. Don't start the marriage off like that.