No Money

View Quoted Comment Good for them? Does that only include full time jobs in his field? Does that take into consideration graduates who already had a job in the field? That means 1 out of 100 graduates doesn’t get a job, so unless he already works for a company that will give him a better position after graduation, it’s a possibility that he won’t get a job.

View Quoted Comment If your priorities are your honeymoon and not having FH work than you have to settle for a wedding you didn’t envision. You can’t really complain that the wedding isn’t how you envisioned. These are the choices you made.

Just an idea—could you elope on the honeymoon and then do a small cake and punch type reception when you return? Or a restaurant banquet room? (Ie just dinner not all the DJ etc...) There are some in my hometown that are pretty affordable.

And don’t be discouraged by your inability to pay for the “typical” wedding. It’s ridiculous the amount of money spent on these things. I scaled back and am still spending over $10k for a small wedding. I’m over 40 and have the means, but there’s part of me that STILL feels I “should” have something more elaborate. It’s embarrassing. I have had to remind myself in the past when I saw friends and acquaintances buying expensive condos and houses and I felt inadequate for not being able to despite all my hard work....you don’t know the behind the scenes. People have family money, or they’re taking on too much debt, or living on the edge paying for something they barely afford. So, good for you for saving what you have and working. I personally, like many here, would want to be more “settled” before getting married...but not due to the wedding cost, just everything else that I’m still freaking out about now! Good luck with it all!

My budget is very tight, so I'll tell you what I'm doing to help keep costs down and maybe that may give you ideas?

- While I haven't asked others to contribute money, they have offered me items that I could use which helps with the wedding. For instance, my mother has a friend who cams, and she donated lots of mason jars for me to use whatever way I liked. So I'm using them for decorations!

- location is key. Be willing to look at venues outside of major cities, that helps keep the cost down. Inside my city was easily 75-150pp for food, when I went outside the city it dropped significantly

- I'm picking up flowers myself to keep from having a minimum (the florists I'm talking to either drop the minimum or reduced it). Look into what flowers are in season, and find affordable options that you like. I'm currently looking at stock, carnations, and hydrangeas.

- Have your wedding on a less preferable day/ during the morning to keep costs down. It may be inconvenient, but let your family and his know that in order to accommodate everyone, you have to keep costs down.

- I'm not doing this, but if it comes down to it you can always just do a cake and punch reception.

- look at pre owned wedding dresses. They may have the dress and size you want at an affordable price! Also Davids Bridal has a lot of deals going on.

- at the end of the day, sit down with his family and yours and tell them you CAN NOT AFFORD to invite everyone they've asked you to. Tell them you can only invite X amount of people from each side of the family. Take into consideration those who sound like they can't make it. At this point, I would keep the event family only, and when you can afford to take a small group of friends out to dinner to celebrate at a later time.

- keep an open mind and heart to everything. Will it be your absolute perfect dream? Maybe not to what you originally thought. But will it be beautiful? Yes, because you and your fiancé are going to be married and at the end of the day, that's all that matters

My friends had a lovely wedding with many friends and family at the courthouse followed by a reception at a nice restaurant on a Tuesday night. While courthouse is not what you want, you could tweak this idea- have it in the chapel of a church or courtyard of a restaurant you both like. The reception can be at a nice restaurant with a low per-head cost and skip the DJ/dancing for an intimate evening with close family!

View Quoted Comment If you are going to go the dress route she suggested you can get georgous wedding belts off amazon for less then $25 dollars, also veils, headpieces whatever you want. I have managed to keep a big guest list with a smaller then most guest list by lots & lots of shopping around... also fb bride sale sites & market place sites for wedding decor can have some great options for cheap. You can make it happen its just going to take more hours of planning

So what exactly are you looking for? You've received a lot of helpful advice. Here's your options 1. You need to postpone 2. You need to have extra income coming in or 3. Have your wedding as cheap as possible and deal with all of the issues and problems. You keep saying your honeymoon is more important than the wedding but I'm sure that's costing something. It's not your parents responsibility to help with the wedding. I understand that family will make promises they can't keep but it's not your place to judge them. I know you said that your FH can't work during school, can he work a seasonal job during holiday breaks? Or summer? Some easy tips to save that I'm using for my wedding are saving all change and putting aside a small amount of money each week so initially like $20 into a seperate account. As I've gotten closer to tge wedding I've increased the amount. I don't miss the small amount of money if you do that for a year you'll have over a thousand.

View Quoted Comment We’re going down to the 1 percent here. They place jobs all over the country. They’re known for their high success rate in placement!

View Quoted Comment I appreciate this post so much! Thank you!

View Quoted Comment I’m already planning on #3 lol.
he will be working a summer job, but I’m not anticipating a lot of that coming wedding-way. Maybe a little, but since it’s not lined up yet and he does need to buy groceries and rent and other things, we’ll see.
And I actually used a change bottle to put a deposit down on one of my photographers. I love doing that!

Part of being an adult is accepting that not everything will be as we want it to be. You've already stated that your FH not having to work, and going on your dream honeymoon are your top priorities. It sounds like you have that, but in achieving those things the wedding has had to go on the back burner. We just don't get everything we want sometimes.

You've been given lots of helpful advice. Push the date, make FH contribute or deal with what you've got.

Where are you? Try county parks. I'm doing a 5k wedding for 100 people. Find a wholesale caterer. My buffet is 7.99 per person and the food is amazing. My cake is coming from Sam's club 30 dollars for a 2 tier and 40 for a sheet cake. (No membership needed they offer free 1 day shipping passes.) My venue cost 750 for 12 hours, but I wanted the prettiest one the county offered several other lodges and they are around 100 each especially cheaper if you do a weekday wedding. My photographer is only charging 250 bucks for 2 hours and printing rights to our edited photos. My dress was 99 dollars at David's and my alterations are about 150. Hair and make up will be a bit more expensive because I'm paying for myself and my bridesmaids. Still less than 500.

OP - please consider all of Julia's advice. My dress is less than $100 off Amazon and I am having no bridal party. (Way too much $$$ and drama.) Have a late morning ceremony and a brunch/lunch reception. You are going to have to do two difficult things: Cut the guest list down A LOT and accept his/your families can't help you financially. Please let your parent's bad habits with money go. TO be blunt, get over it. Live with with what you have. Truthfully, they are under no obligation to do so. In five years you can rent a VFW or KC Hall (don't laugh, some are gorgeous! A few are still 1974 era decor but you can find a nice one) and have a big dance party to celebrate your anniversary.

Look into art schools to see if you can get a student photographer - may be risky but it is worth looking into. Also, check high schools as the Art teachers usually moonlight as wedding/events photographers. June 2019 is a loooong ways of and it a long time to be living off rice and beans. Our wedding is less than $3000 for fifty people. It can be done, you just have to make some hard decisions. Good luck!

Hi Jessica,
Your stress hits home for me as I to am in the same kind of boat being the main money maker for the wedding. I have no parents nor grandparents to turn to for help and my FH works part time while going back to school.
I recommend looking at your local thrift shops (Goodwill, Salvation army, etc) and consignment stores for a wedding dress. Most Goodwill stores have them for $35 or less in my area. If you need to have it altered it won't cut too much into your budget as buying an actual wedding dress. I might also suggest looking at white prom/pageant dresses. David bridal has sales for wedding dresses every couple months for $99.
Rentals might be an option. David warehouse has been sending my FH letters about getting up to 5 suits or tuxs to rent for free when he rents I believe.
For flowers is you want fresh buy that seasons flower as it will be cheaper. I personally am going to pick out my flowers and arrange mine as most of the time I am dissatisfied with the look. You can also do artificial flowers (Hobby lobby every other week has them 50% off and there is a 40% off coupon you can use on one full price item).
For my cake I am doing a two teir semi-naked and getting it from a local store chain (Whole foods as I know the baker) and having small desserts for guest. There are also other desserts you could use. For example many people are looking to have a donut wall, candy bar, small hand size pies, and the list could go on. For catering I would do stations as it's normally the cheapest way and I find it to be easier for everyone.
If you wish to have your makeup done may I suggest going to a makeup chain store like Ulta, Sephora, Dillards. Have a makeup professional style your makeup for cheap (don't say it's for a wedding as it will probably cost you more).
For you I think it will come down to doing a lot of DYI (ask family for help physically if they can't help any other way), asking vendors about discounts or promotions, finding deals or asking for decor, and rentals.

View Quoted Comment Planning for life after marriage is great! However, life after marriage is not just the honeymoon. You need to think ahead. You need to plan for more than just a week or two after your wedding.

What if he decides to not finish school? What if he does graduate but he can't find a job or he does find a job but it only pays minimum wage? How are you two going to stay afloat (utilities on, rent paid, food in the fridge)? Are your 125 hours every two weeks enough to sustain the two of you successfully every month? What about an emergency fund because life will inevitably happen?

And how are the two of you going to keep your marriage strong and healthy with both of you working crazy hours to the point where you may not even see each other just to pay the bills?

Something has to give here. Focus on building a solid life together first and then work on saving for the big dream wedding of 100+ guests.

Or you can elope on your honeymoon with just the two of you. Send "We Eloped!" Cards to friends and family. Move in together and once you have a solid foundation save up for a vow renewal where you can invite who you want.

In my opinion, what you guys need as a couple is time. You can pull this thing off at 4K but it seems to me that you guys need to push this marriage thing out. If you're a young couple what is wrong with a 36 month engagement? You might also want to think about letting your fiance get on his feet financially because if he's not contributing anything to the wedding cost, that is not good, it sounds like he is not stable financially yet to even take care of a wife.

However, if you are determined to proceed.

I agree with all the posters. Everybody has good ideas. Invite less people, find an affordable venue, DIY as much as you can (there are hundreds of DIY wedding tutorials on youtube). Buy your rings and wedding apparel from the secondary market. If your fiance haven't purchased your engagement ring let him find some money from somewhere to get it, cause that's definitely something you shouldn't be doing. There are beautiful Moissanite engagement rings for under $1,200 and you can always upgrade to a high quality diamond on your 10th or 15th anniversary.

Check out rings on Etsy, especially for men. You can get a men's wedding band for under $200.00. You can also get your fiance a silicon wedding band (guy love them because they are comfortable and easy to wear, especially if they're active) the cost is under $50. You can buy your wedding dress on the secondary market from on-line bridal boutiques selling their samples or a pre-owned dress. Many brides sell dresses they have never worn, tags attached simply because they chose a different dress.

There are ways to work that $4,000 you just have to be creative. Here are two videos I found on how to plan a budget friendly wedding and wedding decor on a serious budget.

How To Plan A Budget Friendly Wedding In Under 30 days

Simple DIY Wedding Decor | Centerpieces, Signs, Party Favours

I may be too late to help here- BUT I understand! My 6k budget is TIGHT! Here are some suggestions that aren’t popular but you will have to choose what’s important to you! Like for me- my dress is a big deal! But flowers, eh not so much. Views and vibes are super important, but a fancy meal, eh not so much. Cake cutting is a must, but a dessert table, eh not so much.

So- here are my suggestions as a fellow budget bride on how to save money:

DRESS: Cocomedly.com has insanely cheap but legit dresses! So does TJ Maxx- I want a ball gown but am on a budget- you can find a nice ballgown on these sites for under $600
TUX: JC Penny’s, Macy’s or Rent
FLOWERS: DIY! I found my bridesmaids bouquets at Micheals in a premade boquet (I think for interior decor) but I spent about $10 per bridesmaid, and that was with a fuller boquet which I preferred.
CATERING: Olive Garden does a create your own pasta bar for $125 per 10 people. It comes with pasta, meats, sauces, salad, and breadsticks. So far I have not found a cheaper (but tasty) option! Plus that’s so fun, I haven’t looked into BBQ because I don’t like it, but I hear that’s cheap too!
VENUE: I am reserving a public area at my state park for only $25! Then having a dinner reception at my moms church nearby for a donation (in giving $150)! It’s a Sunday school room but I plan to totally gut it, hang bulb lights, and make it my vision! i saw you mentioned that so have at it!)
HOUSING- this was a big but important expense to me but maybe not to you, a lot of my bridesmaids are college students and spending a lot to come into my hometown, so I air-bnb ‘d a house for two nights for like $700 so the girls have the option to stay there if they wanted. But if all your girls are local that cuts that huge expense.

i totally get why why you wouldn’t want to wait to get married because of finances, at the end of the day you are marrying your love. Good luck! And if you need anything let me know! 💕

Oh! Here is a BM boquet and my moms Sunday school room for visuals:

as my fiancé says I have wine taste with a beer budget, so I’ve had to make sacrifices for the things that are not super important to me!

I'm going to echo PPs here. You really should not have booked the honeymoon before booking venues. The attitude that the honeymoon is more important rubs me the wrong way. It's almost as if you are saying marrying the person you love is insignificant if you don't get to have the honeymoon. Most people don't get to go on a honeymoon at all or right away. You can't sit there and complain about how you are struggling with your budget when you won't even take in the option of your FH working even a part time job.

I can understand wanting to marry the love of your life as soon as possible. I've been with my FI 8 and 1/2 years and he just recently proposed. We've known for years we wanted to get married but the time wasn't right. By the time we get married we will have been together 10 years. You either need to cut your guest list or postpone.

I can understand your reasoning behind how you're doing things, and obviously I don't know your entire situation so I'm making assumptions, but weddings drain your bank account- as you're finding out. Moving into a new apartment/home with someone also drains the bank account. Honeymoons cost money. If you're planning to move in together right after you're married have you figured out how to get money for a deposit if you need one? If you have NO wiggle room in your budget right now, what happens if your car breaks down, or something else gets in the way? My fiance and I bought a house in March, were getting married this October, we've had over $6,000 of unexpected issues and expenses in the last 11 months. Granted this included an emergency vet bill-but god forbid something happened to you and completely wiped out your funds.

It's harsh to hear, but if all you care about is the honeymoon, go elope and go on your honeymoon and save yourself the money. Are you going to be happier with a wedding where you have to cut corners everywhere despite busting your ass working an insane amount of hours every week? Or would you feel better if you could cut back your hours a little bit/save some of that money, and just go get married and onto the part that you care about?

If I were in your shoes, and changing dates was not an option, I would heavily consider either 1. Eloping and heading directly to honeymoon, having a larger party down the road to celebrate with everyone when you both have a stable source of income, or 2. Having a court house wedding, and going out to dinner with family and friends, and then heading on your honeymoon.

I just think you're exhausting yourself with work, and it's going to take a toll on you. If you're not able to have what you want, is it really worth all of the extra stress? Best of luck either way!