No Money

Maybe you can postpone it a year or two to save up to have the wedding you want

My wedding is May 2019 with a 10k budget. We r making it work by keeping our guest list under 40. Is ur FH helping with the wedding costs? If not then maybe thats something u should think about before u make this man ur husband.

Where is your partner in all this? Why are you the only one funding the wedding?

I'm sorry you're feeling this stressed and I think it may be time to take a step back and re evaluate you vision, and whether you can afford to have this wedding when you originally planned. There's no shame in postponing until your in a better place financially.

Why are you the only one finding the wedding?

View Quoted Comment He can’t, he’s in school.

View Quoted Comment My parents are crap with their money, he’s in school at the moment and focusing on getting his technical degree. He’ll pick up a side job when he can, but it’s not gonna make him much except to cover his rent and food and student expenses. He doesn’t have the time to get a “real job.”
so it’s just me and I’ve already got a year and a half of saving in this budget. Still just 4k

What is it that is making the buffet blow up? Can you diy some things to save money? Make sure you use seasonal flowers and mix other centerpieces in so you don’t have to get so many flowers. The thing to remember through all of this crazy wedding planning is that the only thing that matters is you are marrying the love of your life. If you can’t afford it, you don’t need it. Go as simple as you can. You love will make the day special enough

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Well if u dont want to do a super cheap wedding then wait until he can contribute.

Yes I agree can you plan it in two years? Can you find somewhere cheaper that is just as nice. I felt the same way as you do. When we got engaged my fiancé and I sat down to figure it all out and I almost had a heart attack well maybe a little Panic attack. Until we started looking and found the perfect place. Shop around don’t just settle on one venue there are so many options out there. For florist photographers and all the extra just give your self time you will find what is meant to be.

Don't give up. There are ways to have a great wedding on a budget. Look at renting your gown. Have an early wedding with a cocktail reception. That eliminates a DJ and a full meal. Research parks and small venues (VFW, armory, library, etc.). Have a potluck reception. You can do this!

I'm curious though. Why isn't your fiancee helping with costs?

You may need to talk to the parents on both sides to determine whether they can contribute in any way. If not, postponing may be the way to go. We postponed our wedding due to shaky work situations and I'm super glad we did. Now we can move forward without concerns about money.

I give you credit for living in your means. Maybe consider a legal marriage in the near future and then do the "dream event" at a later time when your financial situation can allow for it.

He can. I have worked full time with three of my degrees. With my masters, I commuted 5 hrs a day on school nights, worked 40 hrs a week, commuted 3 hrs a day on non school nights, worked 36 hrs every other weekend at a group home and also volunteered for the sexual assault crisis center on the weekends I didn't work. He can surely manage a part time job.

View Quoted Comment Budget actually was cut down. Originally 9k and I managed to get rid of a bunch of things I wanted to get it to 5k and I only have 4K in my personal budget that I could pull out.

I'm sorry you are feeling the pressure of everything. It's hard to give up on what you had pictured in your mind. Deep breaths. Talk with your fiance.

View Quoted Comment I’d rather he didn’t to be honest. When he went to college the first time he wasn’t motivated, didn’t care and dropped out. I’m happy he’s going back at all and he and I both knew he needed the time to focus on just managing the schooling. He’s done full time work, full time labor, management, but he’s a one-at-a-time guy. And if he got a job and started lowering his grades for it we’d both be kicking ourselves.

Good job on being a superstar though, not everyone can do that!

View Quoted Comment I can’t postpone! ive already trapped myself with a honeymoon date.
And my parents come in at ding ding ding 80,000 dollars in debt! I ask them to help with the medical bills they said they’d help me with when I had a procedure done and they can’t afford it (and yet get new Apple TVs for each other for Christmas). thats not happening.
his parents aren’t well off but they said they’d handle the rehearsal dinner which was sweet.

View Quoted Comment Very well put

View Quoted Comment I’m hoping that the perfect place is out there. Or that I find a way to make his parents home church out in the boonies not so........ down home-y.

Why not postpone the wedding? Wait until he is out of school and you are both able to contribute financially.
If you don't want to wait, it is possible to have a wedding for 4k. But you might need you make some changes to your original plan. Look for ways to save and things to cut. I bought a bridesmaid dress in ivory instead of something that was lacked as a wedding dress. With alterations and adding a $200 belt, it was just over $500. We also skipped save the dates. They are not necessary and usually end up in the trash after the wedding. The invitations can also be simple. They do not need a bunch of inserts that will ads to the cost. Make a free website to get info to guests and for RSVPs. Keep the decor simple. Small centerpieces with in season flowers. Food can also be kept simple. Contact pizza, bbq or Italian restaurants in your area to see what fits in your budget. The biggest way to save is to invite less people.
And please, do not do a potluck reception like someone previously mentioned. It may save you money but will be very inconvenient for guests and creates an issue of food quality and safety. There is no way to guarantee that everything was made and stored properly, especially during the ceremony.