No Money

Ok first off and this is just my opinion.... you do not need to stress like this over a day to celebrate your love for one another. If you have a budget of 4k then stick with that there are plenty of options available but you will have to do some research. We planned on doing a Court house wedding but found a beautiful chapel for $250. We cut the guest to our immediate family and we are treated everyone to dinner $400 and more drinks and snacks back at our house $100. Our guests list is only 23 people max and this is what we had to do because of finances. But that doesn't mean that you have to skip on a beautful wedding day. We are having a bbq with our friends and family later. But if you are adamate about your list then push the wedding back to save more money. Don't stress about trying to make the most in a short time. You wont be able to enjoy your special day. Its not about the celebration it's about the commitment. Focus on that and you will be better off.

View Quoted Comment I don't think it's right to say we should stop commenting about the school and no work thing-it had to be said because it's pointing out the absurdity. This situation leads me to believe they aren't financially ready to have a wedding they want.
Please, no self-catering. It's the worst advice ever.

View Quoted Comment You can pick any person to officiate. Cost $0 online thru ULC (I think) to become official. just check your states rules obviously.

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THISTHISTHISTHISTHIS

Was exactly what I thought when I read OP's response.

Where are you going for your honeymoon?

View Quoted Comment My fh did try uber last year to help with our income. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Great that you can make your own schedule but the pay is hardly worth it after additional car upkeep/ gas/ added insurance/ phone sevice/ etc. I sometimes feel like can’t he work while he is in school? Ugh but I was in school before we met and I couldn’t keep my grades up while working and had to cut back. If we spend thousands on his schooling and he can’t get the grades to find a good job after completion then it’s all worthless. It better for him to get good grades and pave the way for our future than it is to gain a few dollars an hour driving for uber. And to each their own. Every couple does things diffently and that’s ok.

Ding, ding, ding! Like I am glad I have lived with FI for the last 4 years. I've learned his quirks and he has learned mine. Is every day rainbows and puppies? Nope! But we work through it together. If you have never spent much time with someone in close quarters, be in living together or sharing a room together on a trip, you will be surprised by how they may act. I can understand that sometimes religious people do not, but based on what OP has said, it's not them who don't want to move in with each other but their families. You are an adult, you can tell your families that you will be living with each other before marriage.

You have to shop around for better prices to pull it together and like someone said skip the rehearsal dinner and have them contribute what they would have spent for that. if you can't find ideas to make the day how you want it by compromising than you'll have to get clever on making more money in the meantime.
But there are ways to do it for $4k if your honeymoon is already covered, but be willing to find ways to cut budget more.
I'm doing my own flowers which are added to the venues flowers.Costco sells great bulk flowers! Im doing a thursday wedding to save $7000. Use michaels for supplies and decorations and use their coupons.
I totally get where your at, sounds like it's all set, so either compromise or find more money, seems like your choices.

And try to have fun while doing it!

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Hey, that's almost the same as FH & me! We officially moved in together after just under a year (we were basically already living together, one of us was always at the other person's place), and we got engaged after about 7.5 years, getting married on our 9-year anniversary
I agree - I understand that people may not want to for religious reasons, and I 100% respect that. But I think it can be quite risky to get married before knowing how compatible you are sharing a space for at least a month or two, in some capacity.

I would like a purple unicorn that poops ice cream, but no amount of advice from here is going to create that for me.

You have a certain budget, and you have these expectations of how you want your day to look. You are going to have to adjust the variables on either side until the two meet. 2+2 will never equal 8, no matter how badly you want it to.

Jessica - I need to comment once more on living together and traveling together before you get married. I have a hunch you are young (25 or under?) from your posts and I have picked up a "Let's go on a honeymoon cause honeymoons are fun" way of thinking but the paying for a wedding came in second. Please reconsider marrying until you have taken a trip or lived together. Some people, even those who love each other top bits, can't travel well together. If I am wrong, I apologize in advance.

I almost always agree with MOB but in this case I need to say: Please don't self cater, it is a bad idea.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for your kind response and understanding! I am actually waiting to hear from some churches and I have family members with experience catering. And my reception is through lunch, finished at 4 or 5 pm. I’ve gotten some pieces of advice here. I appreciate it very much!

View Quoted Comment We’ve seen family together, we visit often. He stays the weekend. Please don’t question whether I should be married at all.

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Makes total sense. You don't have to go on the honeymoon right away. You can purchase a 2-day cabin stay somewhere for the weekend on the cheap after the wedding or some destination nearby where you can drive and save money (no airfare, baggage fees, cabs, etc) stay at a nice hotel for 1 or 2 nights, go to a concert, museum, dine out one night and then head home Sunday night. You can probably do something like that for under $500 (depending on the city) and then plan a full blown honeymoon later on when finances permit.

View Quoted Comment Jessica, I think it’s coming across that some people are doubting your level of maturity because it sounds like you are making some very important decisions because upon what your parents want and not what you want. You mentioned you can’t live with your FH until you get married because of conversative parents. But you are adults and you need to do what is best for you. It sounds like you barely see your FH and would be much happier if you could just live together! For me personally moving in with my FH was absolutely wonderful and really helped our relationship blossom. And after reading everything it sounds like you don’t even really want to have a wedding, or at least not one that you can afford. Are you trying to scrap together a low budget wedding because you feel it’s expected of you by your family and friends? It seriously sounds like you should just elope or have a courthouse wedding given your circumstances. You are stressing out so badly trying to pay for a wedding by yourself and it’s sad! Stress is really bad for your health and so is living off really cheap food. It’s not worth it in the long run. Please take care of yourself. If your family and friends are good people, they will understand if you don’t have a wedding. If they aren’t, then who cares what they think!

View Quoted Comment I really cannot move in with him. I have lived with him for summers before.

View Quoted Comment I’ve saif this a lot- the honeymoon was more important to us. People are all about prioritizing what you care about until they disagree, and that’s what mattered most to us personally. We wanted the intimate time together away before moving into marriage. So if I have to get married in a paper sack in the courthouse fine, but I would like to not at the same time. I have 4K to do something better than that, and that’s what I’m gonna go for. (:

View Quoted Comment We have spent summers Together. I’m not scared at all

View Quoted Comment I don't think she was talking about putting the wedding on a cc, and I know that isn't what I was talking about. I agree with you on not going into debt, but I pay all my bills, gas, insurance, groceries, everything basically, on my cc that has cash back. I pay off the balance every month and have never had a interest payment. My FH does the same thing, though we just recently switched him to cash back card. He does it because he will not use a debit card for certain purchases. We have received hundreds of dollars in cash back over the years using a cc for things we were already purchasing. Depending on her credit, it could be a viable option. I don't think she wants to go in debt, which is why she is stressed about saving. But credit cards don't have to be debt, if you never spend more than you have and don't carry a balance. Interest payments would be the worst.

Girl I totally feel you. We have a $7,500 budget and I have no ideal how it'll work out and that's with doing everything the cheap way. 🙃 I'm a server in a small town and I'm just taking it one day at a time and trying to breathe and not stress. My FH is still getting his degree and all his money goes to that as well. Just know you're not alone in your struggles.