No Money

View Quoted Comment Well at least you’re doing what you’re good at (:

View Quoted Comment It is bad that he's not helping. Marriage is a joint decision.

What is the rush? Why can't you wait?

You have two options like you've been told over a span of ten pages several times: courthouse and small amount of guests at a restaurant afterwards or wait and save.

View Quoted Comment Like I’ve said over a span of ten pages several times I have taken a lot of people into account. I am speaking to FMIL soon about cutting down guest list. I’m going to consider cutting out the RD. I’m not making this decision by myself. My FH is in on the decision making. And I’m aware that marriage is a joint decision. Just because he’s not got his wallet out doesn’t mean he doesn’t matter. I want him to focus on school because that means his “money” will come from his future job for our life together. (Which is another thing I’ve explained a hundred times)
I'm just so frustrated with how this whole thread has gone.

View Quoted Comment If your wedding budget is being cut and quartered-however you phrased it, having a longer engagement if you want the wedding you've dreamed of then a longer engagement will be best.
Contribution-yes, your FH should be contributing because it's his wedding and marriage, too.
Stressed/Upset-you wanted sympathy, fine, but it's also going to come with a huge dose of realism when you post on a forum, especially this forum. The reason you may have got some who understood is well, maybe those are the sugarcoaters? No one really cares what your budget is, but once you put it out there complaining about it, and giving info. on the reasons your FH can't contribute, your financial situation, how the honeymoon is more significant-that's on you. If you didn't want any feedback and were confident and steadfast in your decision this post would not have been made.

I never wanted a courthouse wedding, I want a wedding with family and dinner and fun. I want a nice place and a gorgeous dress and I just feel everything I wanted slipping through my fingers because there aren’t enough hours in the day to work harder to get even half the wedding that I wanted two months ago.

Then you need to wait and save. I want a Ferrari but it's going to take me a while to save up for one and be in a position to afford it.

You're not understanding that you either wait or you change your vision.

View Quoted Comment I’m obviously changing my vision! Do you really believe I’m sitting here saying “No! It just needs to happen perfectly and not cost me more money!”
i was expressing frustration. Did I ever say “how do I get what I want?” No. I said I was frustrated.

everyone knows thT you have to make concessions with a wedding (unless you have significant help or seven years or are old enough that you make an amazing amount of money). I’m aware.

Op: Turn off the thread and take a break from this convo. It’s gone competly south. Your post was asking for help with a budget not should I marry him or do you think he is lazy or any other thing. There were some good suggestions. Some you probably don’t care for. I do not want a court house wedding either it get it. Ultimately it’s your call what kind of wedding you have and who pays for it. We combine our incomes so what little money he does get while going to school is OUR money so WE are paying for OUR wedding but I know others see it differently. Doesn’t matter one bit to me. When you have gotten over the rudeness of this post try again. Maybe try to ask direct questions so you get the right answers and not opinions. Like how can I save money on a cater or where is a great online wedding dress shop that’s reliable. I have noticed here on ww either you get suggestions to questions or you get verbally beat down for not being like everyone else. What I do know is you can have a nice wedding and not break the bank it’s hust a lot more work. Good luck 😁

Why not have a courthouse wedding and save the 4k to have fun on the honeymoon you already planned? At the least take half of that list out to dinner afterwards. If you MIL isn't paying they have no say. You can't have what you can't afford unless you come up with a real life plan. Someone has to come in with more money or you have to seriously negotiate some costs. If someone is mad at you for not being able to afford to pay for them for your wedding then thats their problem. That's not something to be concerned about. You said the honeymoon is most important so do that courthouse wedding and you can move into together. Maybe plan a reception at a later date after you both have been working.

View Quoted Comment By this logic anyone who vents should just forget their entire wedding because they’re obviously not sure of anything. This is a forum for wedding planning. And those who understand are aware what a loving sacrificial relationship looks like. Where he’s not obligated to open his wallet to fund a wedding when he’s focusing on our future with mutual trust. But ya know.

View Quoted Comment The honeymoon is already in my budget. I have an extra 4K. At this point, ignore everything I said cause I’ll make it work. I was stressed and upset last night but now I’ve just felt put down by most of these poster.
thank you for your advice. I’m planning on cutting guest lists and just doing a smaller wedding. This post has done one thing: made me realize that the whole wedding is just a party and if I don’t spend a ton of money on my wedding then that’s fine. I’ll just look at pictures of everyone else’s a little less to deal lol!

View Quoted Comment Then what concessions are you making? Ive seen no mentjon of cuttiny anything oyher than DIY decor, friendor photographers, and a friendor baker. Cut your guest list and have an intimate restaurant reception.

Why can't you wait and save if you don't want a courthouse wedding? What steps are you taking to solve your problem? Are you cutting the guesst list? Waiting and saving?

View Quoted Comment Thank you for this. I appreciate it. I think I will turn off notifications for awhile and i probably won’t come here for sympathy or friendship ever again.
Thank you so much.

View Quoted Comment But ya know, my husband focused on school for our future, worked full time 6 days a week ( still does) and many months of required overtime during our 2 year engagement.

View Quoted Comment I’ve said this to multiple posters:
cutting RD.
cutting guest list after I speak to Fh and FMIL
im already having an afternoon reception
im talking to churches instead of venues
im looking through consignment stores and sites for dresses
im diying tons.
amateur bakers, caterers, and photographers
omg

View Quoted Comment Your welcome. It’s just stressing you out and you were already stressed and looking for help.

View Quoted Comment Good for you

View Quoted Comment Thank you. Seriously.

View Quoted Comment You need to take a step back and re evaluate what you really want and if it's possible with your budget.

You're clearly upset and need to take a break.

View Quoted Comment Not sure where you are but if outdoors works you can try parks or public gardens. Can’t here in April we would freeze to death. A friend had an out door wedding with an indoor reception at one of our parks for $150.

View Quoted Comment You know, your flippant attitude got to me with the "But ya know" so I reacted in kind. None of my posts were to upset you; to help you be aware not everyone is going to be sympathetic, this is a forum, people will add in their opinions. You don't want opinions, then don't post. You wanted to vent. Vent, but venting obviously isn't good on a forum.