Left at the altar

I am SOO with you on that one!! I get upset just when he leaves my dorm (still in college right now), but if he left me forever.... especially at the altar.... omgosh... I would soooo beyond die!!

I have to say, I have no understanding of how this happens. Most weddings are planned a year or more in advance. How could you go through all that and then say, on what was supposed to be your wedding day, "Oops, this really isn't a good idea!"

I couldn't imagine ever doing that to anyone, how horrible.

2d Bride-- EXACTLY. As if there wasn't enough opportunities to decide you did not want to get married? Like maybe when you were picking out wedding bands, or say, proposing? Or perhaps BEFORE you put a down payment on a reception venue?

I just honestly would not be able to handle that.

Yeah I think no matter how sturdy your relationship is that is a nightmare to think about after all that planning all the money all that work for someone to to decide ummnever mind I'd probably get arrested for what I'd do lol but really that must be horrrible for those who have been left at the altar man or woman it must feel like crap if you're not ready don't propose or dont' accept

That would be terrible, how can that happen. I mean its not like you wouldn't be doubting it the whole time. Why not say something before the big day?

Seriously right? I think when people do that its just selfish

I have a feeling that the people involved had a feeling this was going to happen, and it actually happening was just confirmation.

Watching this show I can't believe people actually do this. People really wait until the day of their wedding to just not show up or walk out that makes absolutely no sense. If it happened to me I would definitely die. I don't think I could be like that one lady who went ahead with the reception even though her groom didn't show up.

I'm with wow...you had to have some sort of idea. Unless you have a runaway no more a soon to be spouse (no other way to describe that..). You have to know. You just have to. Oye. Chris couldn't have ran away from me..I was driving the car ;-)

I was watching it also. You'd never think that your fh would do that, but then again, neither did they. That would be horrible. I couldn't even imagine what the hell I would do if that happened to me.

And.... you already have the marriage license... which isnt that legally binding? or maybe not until it is signed huh??? I dont see it as a threat... if he could tolerate me for 5 years and then the next year of planning I KNOW he will be there haha.... me on the other hand ;o)

I watched that too. I told my FH that I was taking notes. He was not too happy about that, haha! Of course I was kidding. I think that the one who was left would have had to had some kind of idea.

So not wanting to see this *shudder*

I can understand how some might do this. I don't agree with it, and it is the biggest wimp thing to ever do, but I can see it happening for this reason. The groom is dating the bride and he really likes her, she is desperate to get married and have kids, he proposes to make her happy and get her to stop going on and on about it every time he sees her. See, the groom has her on a pedestal and can't possibly think of getting her upset, even if he isn't sold on the idea. Groom drags his feet about setting a date, bride eventually gets frustrated enough to give him an ultimatum, set a date and marry me, or stop wasting my time and leave. Groom sets date, bride starts planning. In the few months leading up to the wedding, groom gets serious cold feet, he doesn't think he can go through with it, so he asks his dad, best friends and other important people about his feelings, they tell him it is "just cold feet, it will pass". He believes them, but can't shake the feeling, he may even..(cont)

I have never seen this show. How does that work? They just happen to have a film crew there when they all of a sudden decide to not show up at their wedding?

Cont.. have a conversation with the bride about it, she dismisses it too and tells him he'd "better show up or he would be a huge disappointment to his family and she would never speak to him again". He "shuts up" about it and tries to bury it deep. In the weeks leading up to the wedding, he realizes he just can't do it, but thinks it is too late to get out of it. He tries to make peace with it, but has difficulty. He goes through the motions because he thinks that is what he is supposed to do. On the day of, he just can't do it, but he also can't face anyone to tell them. As shown by all of his previous decisions, he is spineless and weak, he can't take criticism and is very insecure. He doesn't show up, doesn't offer a reason, and the bride and both families are absolutely mystified and mortified. That is how I think it happens. I know someone who wasn't left at the altar, but her FH went through with it knowing it wasn't right. They divorced 4 years later, and had a 2 yr old son.

FH and I were watching this last night because it was on between episodes of 'Say Yes to the Dress'. I turned to him and said, "If YOU leave me at the altar you would be DEAD afterward. I would find you and you would NEVER be heard from again!!"

Him: "So, if I left you at the hotel or at the reception, it'd be okay?"

Me: "Just don't leave me at the altar, okay? At least have the balls to break up with me WAY before the wedding if you are having second thoughts."

::sitting there in silence:: [for the record, I'm not afraid of him doing this and we're not having any sorts of problems for this--we were just joking with each other]

Him: "Why do they even have a show like this on TV? It's morbid and horrible!!"

Me: "I dunno... because it happens??"

Him: "Can we change the channel? I don't like this show. It's mean."

Me: "okay" ::changes channel::

I would be devastated deep down and would then say eff you, you stupid idiot. Enjoy my reception and take my MOH on my honeymoon.

If someone doesn't want me, then I sure as hell am not going to spend my life crying over them.

While being left at the alter would be a horrible thing, it's better than getting divorced.

Funny story- my best friend & I joked around about her being my "get away car" Not that I don't love my husband dearly and want to spend the rest of my life with him, I have just always had commitment issues-it's a BIG DEAL for me, divorce does NOT exist. Any how, She arrived to the ceremony a few minutes past five (ceremony was to start at 5). Time kept ticking by and it still wasn't starting. She began to panic and check her phone to see if I sent her a message! LOL! Little did she know that the minister was actually late and we were just waiting on him! Ceremony started a half hour late and we didn't need the get away car after all! We laughed pretty hard about it, DH however did not find it as amusing, lol!