Just fired my Maid of Honor.

Wait... back up. Who picks their MOH on a whim while drinking wine? This whole thing makes zero sense.

I'm confused. Someone correct me if I'm wrong but in summary:

- You drank too much wine while scrolling through your FB friends list and just randomly decided to make her your MOH instead of making a list of people who are close to you, stood by you, and deserve to be honored at one of the biggest moments of your life.

- Shortly after she agrees, her husband is thrown in jail for burglary. And instead of supporting her through this, no doubt, hard time that she's going through, you only talk about your wedding. When she supports your decisions by saying "it's your wedding" you fire her. Then to add insult to injury you uninvite her completely for issues with HER "behavior".

- You supposedly talk about it "like adults" but you turn around and put her on blast on an internet based wedding forum.

And the only thing you learn from this experience is that WW users are rude for poking holes in your story and assuming the norm (like having contracts and receipts with important vendors ie officiant.). Oh and that you should probably start a journal because a journal can't talk back.

Did I miss anything?
P.S. I hope she has another support system to help her get through this. I can't imagine how frustrated and lonely she's probably feeling after essentially losing her husband (and all the financial and social repercussions that come with having an incarcerated spouse) and the support from a supposedly good friend.

People here are pretty much commenting/giving opinions based on what you have explained. You cannot get upset or hurt based on what is being said here. If there was more to the story, you can either explain, or leave it as it is and continue to get the responses you are getting.

View Quoted Comment I think you've summed it up quite nicely.

View Quoted Comment Thanks!
I wanted to make sure I wasn't assuming anything about any part of this story.

Your wedding party has to show up in the dress you picked. They aren’t glitter covered slaves.

Wow this is ridiculous. I recently stopped being friends with someone who was supposed to be a bridesmaid in my wedding. I came to realize she wasn't a good friend though.
This particular person just happened to chose to use my wedding to push her political beliefs on me repeatedly and then physically assaulted me.
You have no right to treat people like employees unless you are paying them. You really need to look at your behavior from the other side of things and ask yourself how you would feel if one of your friends treated you that way.
I have asked nothing of my girl's except that they get their dress and shoes. I chose 35 dresses in the same color, fabric and length and let them chose what they felt most comfortable wearing, because I love them and want them to feel beautiful too. They have their choice to do hair and makeup or not.

View Quoted Comment Why aren’t you paying your officiant?

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I think she said her officiant is her sister, her brother is the backup.

Not 100% sure if they're pro's or not, which might explain no contract and no payment.

Oh boy.. You ruined a friendship because she wasn't doing her job? She isn't employed by you. You are not paying her. All she is required to do is show up on time & wear her dress.
You were drinking & chose your MOH from your friends list on Facebook? That's odd, not usually how you do i You didn't give her any support during her time of need, so instead of being supportive you were concerned about "doing her job for your wedding". I honestly dont think she is going to miss your friendship.

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An excellent summary, thank you. It should just jump from the OP to this.

View Quoted Comment Just an FYI for anyone lurking, being physically assaulted by a BM IS a good reason to kick them out of your wedding... and your life. Not 'putting in enough effort' IS NOT a reason to kick out at BM.

I’m with the same problem! My sister lives far and I wanted someone close to me to help so a friend was my first option but then it comes no help from her... I still have a couple months to see how it is going to be. A friend that’s far from me is helping more then the MOH who lives just a few blocks. She’s not a bad friend she’s just not focused.

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*somewhere in the background Wind Beneath my Wings plays*

It stuns me when people have such high exceptions for their bridal party. All they need to do is show up on that day in the dress and take some pictures. That's it. They don't need to hold your hand.

My MOH's live 10 hours and 2.5 hours away from me. However we still talk about our lives daily and if I want their opinion because they have both gotten married, I reach out. If they have no opinion. I move on an ask a wedding forum or I google until I have an answer. Their life doesn't stop for me.

These should be the most important women (or men) in your life. The people, other then the person you are marrying, that when you close your see you can't see your day without. They are the ones dancing with you, taking silly pictures, making you cry with a memory during their speech or just being there and being happy for you. Nothing else.

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She doesn't have to be focused on your wedding. You need to focus on your wedding.

I’m guessing that friendship is over. You were definitely in the wrong.

If it makes your planning and day run smoother then hey good job! Not sure why people get so upset about other peoples relationships and friendships. You did what worked for you and if she is fine with it then she wasn't too stoked to be apart of it anyway. I keep telling people weddings bring out the real in people. So are jealous and mad and have that whole always a bridesmaid never a bride mentality and it sucks.

True. But as you said not helpful.

View Quoted Comment Oh this wedding brought out "the real" in people, alright. And it wasn't OP's MOH.

I can't imagine being stoked for someone else's wedding when my own marriage is going through the fire of incarceration.

But if you want to talk about events bringing out a person's true colours, let's talk funerals.

What did I just read??
Your ex-MOH dodged a bullet.