Just fired my Maid of Honor.

View Quoted Comment I kind of agree with you i would have taken the role away too... MOH is supposed to care an support you in everything I think...Why would she not care about your wedding day I probably would have kept her on my guest list but she wouldn't have been my MOH anymore for sure!

Wait did you fire her and not invite her to the wedding? Planning weddings is really not some people's thing- I personally don't love it and it is my wedding. I hope you didn't uninvite her to the whole wedding- and had a conversation with her about why she is no longer the maid of honor but still value your friendships...

Oy. So much wrong with this here. One: you didn't fire her, unless she was being paid. You kicked her out. Two: If she was your MOH, you should have been extremely close and therefore you should not be able to think about having your day without her so you cutting her completely from the guest list? That's just rude. Then your reasoning? She told you it is your wedding and to do what you felt was right?! How dare she! What nerve! How could she possibly think it was YOUR responsibility to plan YOUR wedding?!

I'm sure you guys can talk things over but at the end of the day it all depends on you.

View Quoted Comment

He can't help with everything but he can carry at least 50% of the burden of wedding planning. You carry the other 50%. Non one has to be involved with the dress. When I was in a wedding, the bride told me where the wedding was, I showed up, we had a great time. Same when I had a wedding. I asked nothing of my bridesmaids. My husband did his share and the ladies showed in their dresses.

As soon as I got engaged I told my sister she was going to be my MOH and that was that. There were no other considerations whatsoever.

As far as bridesmaids go, I haven't made a choice yet because I don't want to end up firing anyone lol.

Wow really??? You sound really low maintenance.

I may have to!

Rock on. It's you're wedding.
I specifically don't have a maid of honor for that reason.

Okay,

I understand wanting help and asking for opinions but I dont think her response was wrong. Its your wedding. I dont really think that was right and if you think it was worth ruining a friendship so be it. But sorry kind of sounds like bridezilla to me

View Quoted Comment

I tend to agree with you, seemingly innocent posts get absolutely destroyed by many people on here- I got torn a new one for saying I was planning the bachelor/bachlorette party instead of the BM/GM doing it- which everyone (outside of one BM) is excited about. I assume that if you took her off the guest list entirely instead of just firing her, there is probably a damn good reason- none of which we need to know the specific details about. While it would take a lot for me to fire a MOH/BM, I'm sure it took a lot for you to get to that point as well. While everyone is welcome to their opinion on here, some can get carried away and a little aggressive, but don't get too discouraged! I'm sure this whole ordeal with her has been very stressful. My FH is the most indifferent person on the planet, so I rely heavily on BM's opinions- otherwise I'd have no help! Not saying FH doesn't help, he just doesn't have an opinion on virtually anything- normally I love it, but it can be frustrating!

View Quoted Comment

I don't either! Just 3 BM. FH doesn't have a BM either. Not worth the drama!

Months ago we would be calling it troll... the sad part is that this one doesn’t even seem like one.
I think the details that are coming out in bits (and seem to be the excuse for this all to be “okay/acceptable”) are just making the whole thing even worse.
A friend being “annoying” because her husband is in prison and she’s desperate for some sort of help (if this is the behavior you said she’s presenting and it’s not acceptable) is probably not a plausible reason to be cutoff from your guest list... I think you should just admit you owe her an apology. You could had been a better friend.

View Quoted Comment

What is it with the rash of "firing my MOH" and "firing a BM" lately? Is it a thing to be "firing" them or what is the deal? This is why I am having my two male children and FH is having one Best Man. There is also a trend of a new poster asking a very out of left field question and 19 people come back and say "Hey...that is not kosher" but one poster will say "Hey! It is YOUR day!!! Go for it!! Etiquette be damned!" and the OP will say thanks to that ONE poster and ignore the other 19. If your mind was made up why are you posting? WW never fails to entertain me.

View Quoted Comment

I think you are right OG Gretchen. The poster will then say "But my family loves me, they support me...what do you guys know?" as a defense of asking them to cook for 100 and clean and carry 100 chairs. Yes of course they love you they will just not say to your face your idea is horrid!!! This is how cash bars, dollar dances and self catering are still a thing. Or inviting people to your wedding and sitting them on bales of hay. Or not having a tent! Oy.....back to work now.

This sounds like irreparable damage to the friendship. As a wedding planner, I’ve known brides to fire MOHs and BM, but not for lack of opinion. Brides either get whatever makes everybody else happy or sometimes you get too many opinions and it gets way too overwhelming. It sounds like she was actually being a really good friend trying to support you and not tell you what to do.

View Quoted Comment @HulaHoop- planning a wedding is like a dream come true. Most girls grow up dreaming of a fairytale wedding. It is something that you wait your whole life for. You grow up imagining the perfect wedding, the intricate details of making it special/unique. It is true that nobody else will care about your wedding more than you do. Planning a wedding can also be very stressful, so When you do not have the support of your bridal party, It gets frustrating, overwhelming. Girls get together and gush over Dresses, flowers, etc. you need that emotional support because it does get stressful and so overwhelming to the point where you just break down and start crying, and when you don’t have it , or have tension and issues with the BP, it gets depressing. The BP role/job is to not only show up, but help make this the best day ever for you, as you would do for them. There are things expected of the BM: showers, luncheons, bachelorette, fittings, etc. This is why you only choose your nearest and dearest to accompany you, because they will want to share in all these experiences with you and give you the support and Help needed to make your dream wedding come to life...something you’ve looked forward to for so long. The idea is that you’re only going to do this once, and you want to have all the embellishments to make it as spectacular and romantic as possible, and you need the opinions and Help of those who know you best. There are too many choices to make. That is also why wedding planners are so helpful! So you don’t take it out on your BM and fire them.
As far as putting so much into a wedding:
*like Christmas and birthdays, you don’t just give someone a gift, you wrap it and make it look pretty
*Disneyland\world has all the bells and whistles: fireworks, light parade, water show
I hope this helps

@hulahoop- It is also a huge bonding experience to share with your closest ladies. If they brush it off like it is nothing,not putting in time to do this with you, then you feel like you are not important enough to them on the biggest and best day of your life.

"planning a wedding is like a dream come true. Most girls grow up dreaming of a fairytale wedding. It is something that you wait your whole life for. You grow up imagining the perfect wedding, the intricate details of making it special/unique."

What? I am so glad this is not true in my circle. Most of us dreamed about becoming engineers, architects, mathematicians, doctors, etc and/or getting a master's/phd, not about having a party.

It sounds like she might be getting the better part of this bargain.