Just fired my Maid of Honor.

Friendship is over - cut your losses. You can apologize but it will never be the same. Reason #12 why I have no bridal party.

View Quoted Comment Friendship is not over

I'm failing to see why you no longer want her to be a guest at your wedding, though. I get that y'all talked and she agreed/understood/accepted/made oeace with the idea that she shouldn't be MOH, but if you're still friends after that conversation, why are you no longer planning to invite her to your wedding?

Yes your comment is rude. JJ brought up relevant points. This is an etiquette and advice column. Based on OP's original post, the comments she has received are totally valid based on etiquette and honestly, friendship. She left out some crucial details, nbd, that's what happens, it's the internet. This is why it is recommended in CG's to lurk, especially around the "hot topics".
This is the internet, people are giving (sometimes brutally) honest advice. I personally believe that this is what makes the forum great, so you can better understand things that your friends & family might be afraid to tell you for fear of hurting your feelings. If that is not what you are looking for, then maybe this isn't the right platform for you.

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Okie doke. Maybe we have different life values that cause us to approach conversations differently. That's cool, too.

Sorry OP, I tend to avoid posts like these, but your post irked me.

A MoH is not a job, it's someone you can't imagine not having there on your day. A MoH is not someone who needs to help make your decisions, it's someone who will give you advice like a friend would - only when they wish to. If you insist on 'firing' her, you will find yourself with one less friend who sounded like she wanted you to make your choices based on yours and your FS's wants, not hers. Which is kind of the way it's supposed to go...

I hope your sister lives up to your expectations, because if she doesn't, you may find yourself in the middle of a family blowup. Good luck OP...

View Quoted Comment Did she say the exMOH tried to sleep with OPs FH? Im confused... Did she edit?

I don't understand why you're sharing your "friend's business" on this forum. I don't understand why you picked her as your MOH. Also, removing her from the guest list. This situation seems a little messy.

OP, based on everything you wrote in your original post, it was obvious to me there was much more to the story. After reading through PPs comments, I see there is definitely more. Unfortunately, when you don't provide the whole story, it allows others to assume. Many people constantly state that being a BM or MOH isn't a job, and although I agree, I do think they should do more than just "buy a dress and show up". Like any friend or family member, support is always nice. Although not required, it's easy to expect it if your BP is made up of friends and family. I'm not sure why she isn't invited to the wedding as a guest, but I'm sure you have a reason for that. However, I won't shame you for firing her. I just hope you understand that if you came here for support, most people can't provide that without the whole story...

Wow. Good for your friend. Nice to know she got out of this. It wasn't her job to help you plan. Her responses were most likely not a lack of interest, but a push towards you thinking things through and picking what you really want. Did you even try to have a conversation aside from your wedding? Your officiant is getting paid. It is their JOB. Your friends have jobs, family, and other responsibilities outside of your wedding. You don't fire your wedding party. They are intended to be your nearest and dearest, and it's clear that you really dont care about her at all. Especially to cut her from the guest list completely. Sounds really self centered and high maintenance.

View Quoted Comment No haha. I was just pointing out that had she told us the former (or whatever the real story was), people might have been more sympathetic or actually seen her side of things. By posting the latter, she gets responses that tell her she’s in the wrong. I was hoping she would respond with what this poor woman actually did to her but nope.

View Quoted Comment Oh haha! Clever

All I’m going to say is yikes. I couldn’t imagine asking someone to step down from my bridal and then also uninviting them over something so petty. MOH isn’t a literal job, all she has to do is get a dress and show up.

But she was right it is your wedding do it your way. You and your fiancé should be making all the decisions concerning your wedding. I don't see where she said or did anything wrong. This will definitely change the dynamic of your relationship. It's not her duty or job to help you. If people volunteer that's different but it sounds like you need to hire a wedding planner. Your expectations for your wedding party is unrealistic.

View Quoted Comment You are definitely right! The BP certainly shouldn't have to worry about being "fired" either... I couldn't imagine firing someone in my BP for anything less than trying to sleep with my FH lol. The only person I really ask for opinions from is my MOH and that's because she's my sister. Thankfully, she's always honest (sometimes brutally) but no matter what she says, I would never "fire" her.

It's just plain wrong what you did.

I remind myself of this nearly every day: your wedding is only important to you and your FH - no one else cares as much as you.

My MOH has been stellar and has gone above and beyond and I make sure she knows how much I appreciate her help! (texts, cards, flowers, brunch, etc - all things to say to say "Thank you" and "I appreciate you"

My MOH is virtually non-existent and we don't talk often, but she's my sister so as long as she shows up to the wedding that's cool. Even if she doesn't that's cool too. It's just a title not a job description.

I guess I see myself and my FH as adults and able to make our own decisions for the wedding on our own and don't really need free labor to make choices for us. I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who acted like their whole wedding was the only thing that mattered in life.

Can someone please explain to me why wedding planning requires so much support?

Essentially, you’re planning a party. I get it’s the biggest party of your life, but a party none the less.

Beeding support to plan a funeral? Understandable. But most people take months/years to plan their wedding. Why is it ok to kick people out of your wedding group for neither helping you plan a party?

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