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October 2018

Just fired my Maid of Honor.

bootysjojo, on January 30, 2018 at 8:58 AM Posted in Planning 0 185

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I don't know what I was thinking by asking her to be my MOH. I think I had a lot of wine one night and I got a crazy idea that she would be good at the role. Boy, was I wrong. She wasn't into it and wasn't helping me with anything. I'd try to get her opinion on something I need to make a decision on and her constant single response is "it's your wedding, hunny do it your way". WTF that's not helpful at all!! I think she just wasn't into it. My officiant is helping me more than any of my wedding party. So I made the decision and cut her in my final guest list shave. Completely. My sister moved to the role. Should have been her in the first place but my sister lives in another state so she can't help much. That's okay. I was doing it on my own or with the officiant's help anyway. Que sera sera! Have you had to let your MOH go? Was there drama? I avoided the drama seemingly, so far.

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185 Comments

Latest activity by Nikki, on April 17, 2018 at 1:14 PM

VIP July 2018
The Nuptials · on January 30, 2018 at 9:01 AM
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What do you need them to help with? You should be getting help from your FI and that’s it.
Master June 2016
Sarah · on January 30, 2018 at 9:02 AM
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I hope you gave her a nice severance package.
Champion May 2016
OG Kathryn · on January 30, 2018 at 9:04 AM
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Wow, its not a job.
She was doing what she should and supporting your decisions. Those are questions that should be directed to your FH. You likely just lost a friend over outrageous demands. good luck!
Super January 2019
Sunshine · on January 30, 2018 at 9:04 AM
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So you killed a friendship because she didn't want to plan your wedding for you? Seriously? If you want someone to make decisions for you hire a wedding planner.
Expert June 2018
Aly · on January 30, 2018 at 9:05 AM
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Wow. Just wow. I hope you are prepared for the relationship with your former MOH to be over.
Your expectations are WAY too high. Your MOH should not be your servant and shouldn't be expected to help with anything. Her response was completely justified to tell you to "do it your way." If you need help making a final decision, that help should come from your FH.
Super September 2019
An · on January 30, 2018 at 9:05 AM
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Yeah this was not a good move. I would apologize.
VIP May 2018
Brianna · on January 30, 2018 at 9:06 AM
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So, I'm assuming this friendship is completely over with then? Just because she wouldn't give you an opinion on some wedding stuff?
Master September 2018
Munchkin9218 · on January 30, 2018 at 9:06 AM
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So you just cut your friend, presumably someone you were VERY close to if you asked her to be MOH, out of your life and out of your wedding? What the heck?
No one should be help you besides you FS. People CAN help if they offer - but its not a requirement. MOH is not a JOB - So unless you offered her benefits and 401k to help you plan then she did nothing wrong here and you just cut a friend out of your life for very little reason
VIP April 2018
Julie · on January 30, 2018 at 9:07 AM
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Oh wow. That’s a little aggressive. My MOH or bridesmaids haven’t helped with planning at all. That’s between my FH and I. No one will ever care about your wedding more than you do. Excitement might come close to the day for others but that’s about it. But you seem okay with losing this friend.
Super May 2018
Jen · on January 30, 2018 at 9:08 AM
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I agree, an apology would be a good place to start but don't be surprised if she doesn't accept your apology after "firing" her. Yikes.
Master September 2018
Jennifer · on January 30, 2018 at 9:09 AM
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You are completely wrong here. If I were her I would write you off completely.
VIP May 2018
Brianna · on January 30, 2018 at 9:12 AM
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But you are saying she's not even on the guest list anymore in your original post...
Super January 2019
Sunshine · on January 30, 2018 at 9:12 AM
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Let us know if that's still true in a month. What you did is extremely rude. You really should apologize.
VIP September 2018
Mrs.Sanok · on January 30, 2018 at 9:12 AM
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Wow! If I fired anyone for saying it is "it's your wedding, hunny do it your way". I would have fired my mom, sister (MOH) and my other bridesmaids! On top of them I would have to fire FH because he has said whatever makes me happy almost this whole time planning!
My whole wedding party when picking out dresses were asking me what I envision for them to wear! It took me a little for me to make a decision of what I want but I ended up telling them I want the dresses long and burgundy! They are also telling me I need to more like a bridezilla (joking of course) because I am so laid back in this planning!
Super September 2019
An · on January 30, 2018 at 9:13 AM
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Well if she's not upset, that is great, but that is not the norm. There have been so many people on this forum with similar stories and the friendships are ruined.
Champion May 2016
OG Kathryn · on January 30, 2018 at 9:14 AM
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OMG i missed you shaved her from the guest list all together. Now that's BRUTAL.
Expert June 2018
6-1-18 · on January 30, 2018 at 9:16 AM
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Oh lord I feel bad for this poor girl. She was probably totally blindsided by this. She did nothing wrong.
October 2018
bootysjojo · on January 30, 2018 at 9:17 AM
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There's obviously more to the issues than her lack of assisting me. I don't have to list them all out and don't want to. I was just asking if anyone else have had to make this decision. It wasn't easy for me. I didn't lose her friendship. She could have cared less. But when I'm a MOH, I'm all over the job, because it's an honor to be in that role. Of course, you support what the bride wants but again, there were so many frustrations coming from her corner that her flippant approach was my final straw. It took a lot to get me to this point.
October 2018
bootysjojo · on January 30, 2018 at 9:18 AM
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No, actually, she wasn't blindsided.

October 2018
bootysjojo · on January 30, 2018 at 9:19 AM
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There's more to the story, obviously. ;-)