Sam
Master August 2024

How are you handling the holidays as a couple?

Sam, on November 12, 2018 at 2:05 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 58
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The holiday season is a time to celebrate with family and loved ones! But, when there are two of you, there are two families to spend time with! How do you divide and conquer?

Do you attend two Thanksgivings each year? Do you go to Thanksgiving with one family and Christmas with the other? Or, do you choose to gather everyone in one house and host the holidays? How are you handling the holidays as a couple?

How are you handling the holidays as a couple? 1

Photo by A Tale Ahead Photography in Pacifica, CA

For more family matters, check out these community conversations: When did you meet the parents/family? Where did you draw the line on family? Would you rather... hand over complete planning control to your parents or your future in-laws?


58 Comments

  • Ashley
    VIP December 2018
    Ashley ·
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    We live across the country from family, and flying is expensive! Thankfully both our families live pretty close together from each other, so when we do visit, there's time for everyone. This year we'll be spending the holidays just the two of us. We did it last year, too, and I loved it! Steak for Thanksgiving because we both dislike turkey! Next year we'll probably visit CA sometime in December, but probably not during the holidays themselves. From there, I have no idea! I hadn't even thought of it- guess that's something to talk about!

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  • Deryn
    Expert October 2018
    Deryn ·
    • Flag
    We switch off each year, but split Christmas. Last year, we did Thanksgiving with my husbands family so this year was supposed to be with my family but, we will be on our honeymoon; next Thanksgiving will be with my family.
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  • Lizzy
    Super October 2019
    Lizzy ·
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    We do Christmas Eve with his family and Christmas with mine. This year is the first year we are doing 2 Thanksgivings on the same day because his dad is a firefighter and is off for the actual day.
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  • Sam
    Master August 2024
    Sam ·
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    Hi Lizzy! It's so exciting that you will have two Thanksgivings this year! Are they at least close by to each other? Smiley smile

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  • A
    Dedicated December 2018
    Ashley ·
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    We spend Thanksgiving with his family here in AZ and then fly to PA to spend Christmas with my family. We also get to see his sister who lives in NJ when we're back east so everyone is happy.

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  • Stephanie
    Super August 2019
    Stephanie ·
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    We usually decide which family we will spend the actual day with, but thankfully both families are not only close (about 1.5 hours apart), they also are SUPER understanding and so we do “floating” holidays! Example: this year, we will be spending Thanksgiving Day with FH family, as both of my parents have to work (healthcare and retail). Then we will have “thanksgiving” with my family the following Sunday! For Christmas, we also have to work around a custody schedule for FHs two kiddos and I am working actual Christmas Day, so we will have “Christmas” on other days with both families (we will host my family one day, and will visit FH’s on another). I know that we are incredibly lucky to be blessed with such undersatanding and flexible families, and I couldn’t be more grateful that we don’t ever feel pressure by either side to spend specific holidays with them!
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  • Sam
    Master August 2024
    Sam ·
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    It sounds like you have it all planned out! I bet everyone is so excited to spend time with you both! Smiley smile

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  • BecomingBecker
    Dedicated October 2020
    BecomingBecker ·
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    UGH This is the first year that he isn't working Thanksgiving in about 6 years, so we were pretty excited that it was my year to stay in St Louis (every other year I go about 3 hours south to my Paternal Grandpa's for his thanksgiving, not sure what we're gonna do with that next year) so we're going to my moms side around 1pm then his dad's around 5, PERFECT

    Then his mom called us this week...and said that for the first time in YEARS his grandma wants to do Thanksgiving (his parents, like mine are divorced) at the same time as my family's Thanksgiving...so she's now upset because he told her that we have already said we're going to my family's and we can't just back out...I told him that he could do hers and I'll go to my family's then we'll meet up at his dads but he said "No, we already committed to go to your cousins over a month ago, Mom should have called us earlier, she knows that I have more obligations than just her and dad now"


    Luckily our MANY MANY Christmas's are all working out perfectly (I have a HUGE family 5 Christmas' on just my side to go to) so we're going down to my mom's for the weekend of the 7-8th, then our BIG BIG 100+ people Christmas/Family Reunion is the 16th, My Paternal Grandma is the 22nd, My Dad's the 23rd, my Maternal Grandma Christmas eve morning, his Mom's Christmas Eve afternoon, and His Dad's Christmas Afternoon...it's crazy busy lol but somehow it's all working out!


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  • Melissa
    VIP October 2018
    Melissa ·
    • Flag

    He's from Minnesota, we live in Chicago (where 99% of my family is located). Once we get a house of our own that can hold more than one or two guests, we plan to have an open invitation for everyone to visit our house so we can avoid the back and forth travel - but UNTIL then...

    Thanksgiving is always with my dad, Christmas Eve as well. Christmas Day is with my mom. We will usually go up to visit his family in the week before or week after Christmas, depending on which week has the better weather.

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  • S
    Devoted December 2018
    Sarah ·
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    Our families live 9 hours apart and we live in the same town as FH’s family. With my parents recent divorce (dad lives 9 hours one direction, mom and siblings 9 hours the other) I have no idea how we’ll do this in the future. In-laws always want Thanksgiving, last 2 years we’ve done their family trip. My family usually gets Christmas (however we did both with FH’s family last year). This year we are skipping it all as our wedding is 12/8. We don’t have the vacation time to take the annual trip with FH’’s family and we get back from our honeymoon 12/23. We’ll probably stick to thanksgiving with his family and Christmas with mine. Holidays aren’t as important to me as just getting time to visit my family since they’re so far away. I could care less when we visit.
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  • T
    Dedicated March 2020
    Tamsin ·
    • Flag
    We just have Christmas to contend with and we still haven’t decided.
    Youd think it’d be easier with us both from the same city
    • Reply
  • Sam
    Master August 2024
    Sam ·
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    Hi Melissa! It certainly would be convenient to be able to host everyone! But in the meantime, you seem to have a really great plan! Smiley smile

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  • queenbee
    VIP October 2018
    queenbee ·
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    Both immediate families are close by. We usually spend Thanksgiving with one family. A few years ago we tried having a joint Thanksgiving at our new house, with both our parents and siblings. It turned out to be a nightmare for me, so never again 😂 Christmas is a bit easier. We usually do Christmas Eve with one family, Christmas Day with the other. Often our family gatherings overlap though and I don’t get to spend as much time with my family as I’d like to because we have to race off to the next one almost as soon as we get to the first place.
    Not going to lie, my family is usually who we spend most time with for holidays. Especially since I’m the only one with grandparents left, so I try to spend as much time with them as possible!
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  • Sam
    Master August 2024
    Sam ·
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    Hi Tamsin! What have you done in the past? Maybe you can see both families this year for Christmas! One on Christmas Eve and the other on Christmas Day! Smiley kiss

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  • T
    Dedicated March 2020
    Tamsin ·
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    This is the first time we will be spending it together, previously we have spent Boxing Day together but this is the first year where we’ll be together.
    I wish it was that simple, between siblings, Boxing Day and then Christmas Eve that isn’t really a big deal we can’t just split the days
    • Reply
  • L
    Devoted June 2019
    Laurel ·
    • Flag
    We’re alternating. This year it’s Thanksgiving I’m MN with my family and then Christmas in Arizona with his family.
    • Reply
  • Sam
    Master August 2024
    Sam ·
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    Hi Laurel! I think alternating is a great idea! It helps you be able to see as many loved ones as possible during the holiday season!

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  • Lex
    VIP September 2019
    Lex ·
    • Flag
    We’re spending thanksgiving with my grandparents and extended family, probably doing Christmas by ourselves, and then going down to Florida after New Years to see his family.
    • Reply
  • Melissa
    VIP September 2019
    Melissa ·
    • Flag
    Luckily, our families only live about 30-40 minutes from each other so we have managed to switch off a few holidays. We do a lot of our Christmas celebration on Christmas Eve with both my mom and dad’s side of the family, then we do Christmas morning with my family and Christmas afternoon with his. This year we are celebrating Christmas in early December with his family as a lot of his relatives will be out of town for the 25th and we have invited his parents to join the festivities with my family
    • Reply
  • Mrs. Sarantos
    Master November 2019
    Mrs. Sarantos ·
    • Flag
    We just moved across the country, literally everyone is divorced, he doesn’t talk to his family much, and he doesn’t like my dad. It’s an absolute nightmare. We are staying here for thanksgiving, I’m flying home by myself for Christmas to visit my dad, mom, and stepdad all separately, then his mom will visit in January. We won’t see his dad at all. Idk what we’ll do once we have kids since it’s already horrible with just us.
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