Hi brides! I’d love some outside opinions on a guest list situation because I’m feeling a bit stuck.
My fiancé and I are planning our wedding for April 2027 and our venue has a 120 person guest limit, so we’ve been trying to keep the guest list to people who are actively part of our lives (close family, friends, coworkers, etc.).
My parents want me to invite some of my mom’s cousins’ kids (they’re teenagers now), but I haven’t seen them in years — probably not since before my fiancé and I even started dating. They used to come to my grandmother’s house for Thanksgiving, but she passed away over a year ago and even before that the gatherings stopped, so we really haven’t had contact with them. They don’t come to holidays, birthdays, or family events anymore.
Meanwhile, my fiancé actually sees his cousins multiple times a year for holidays and family gatherings, so naturally some of them are invited.
We’re also mostly doing a no-kids wedding, which is another part of the conversation. The only kids currently invited are my fiancé’s nephew (who is our ring bearer) and two of his cousins’ sons who are tweens that he sees regularly. The cousins my parents want me to invite are also kids/teens, but again, I haven’t seen them in years.
My parents’ main concern is what the extended family will think if these cousins’ kids aren’t invited. But with only 120 spots, I don’t want the wedding to turn into a big family reunion with people I haven’t spoken to in years.
For context, we’re applying this same rule to everyone, not just family. We’re also not inviting old friend groups, high school friends we don’t really talk to anymore, or even people from a Greek dance group I was part of for many years but drifted away from when my life shifted toward work and school.
Another layer to this is that my fiancé’s mom offered to pay for the venue as a gift, which we’re very grateful for. My parents are contributing in other ways (dress, favors, bridal shower, etc.), but I think the venue situation has made them feel like they don’t have as much input. In reality, my fiancé and I are making the decisions together — no one is controlling anything — but emotions have been a little heightened since I’m also the first child in my family getting married.
I’m trying to balance being respectful of my parents while also making decisions that feel right for my fiancé and me.
Has anyone else dealt with pressure to invite extended family you don’t really have a relationship with? How did you handle it, especially when there’s a strict guest limit?
