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June 2021

Match maker dos and donts

Dj Tanner, on April 12, 2021 at 10:56 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 1 13

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OK… So one of our really close friends is single. He is a GREAT GUY! He’s attractive, he makes good money, he’s a great friend! Super supportive! Great listener! Really cares about the people in his life. He’s not dating anyone, and doesn’t really get out enough to meet people because he’s really focused on work, but he’s always saying how he needs to find someone lol.

Then we also have a very close friend of my FHs....(It’s actually one of his ex-girlfriend’s) but she is really a GREAT person! She is gorgeous, and loves animals, volunteers at the animal shelter weekly, but she also works in aviation and know how to fly planes. She’s traveled the world, and gone to Africa on humanitarian trips and all these cool places to help people. Like… This girl is wicked cool. Needless to say. She has dated a few people, but isn’t dating anyone now because the last guy she was dating skruud her over and I think was actually cheating on her.
These are both really great people and in my head I’ve said for the longest time that I think these two would actually fall in love if they ever met. They both have so much in common! From their live if live music, to their adventurous personalities etc I really think it will be a match made in heaven.

OK here’s the question… I’m not going to put pressure or mention it to either of them... but would it be wrong of me to sit them near each other at the wedding?? They both will obviously be coming alone. Would that make it too awkward for them? Should I maybe mention something to my guy friend ahead of time?

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Latest activity by Heather, on April 12, 2021 at 3:13 PM

June 2021
Dj Tanner · on April 12, 2021 at 11:00 AM
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Don’t get me wrong, yes I know people aren’t my chess pieces and it’s always better to let things happen naturally, but that’s why I don’t know if I should sit them next to each other or not or if I should maybe Mention something to my close friend ahead of time like hey there’s going to be this really cool girl there type of thing.
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Master July 2019
Hannah · on April 12, 2021 at 11:02 AM
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I think it would be OK to seat them near each other as long as others that they know are also at the table. I wouldn't mention anything to either of them ahead of time. I feel like giving them an opportunity to meet is fine, but purposefully pushing them together is a little over the line unless they have individually asked you, spontaneously, if you had anyone that you could set them up with.
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Rockstar July 2022
Lisa · on April 12, 2021 at 11:05 AM
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You could seat them at the same table if you wanted, but I would also put other people that each of them know at that same table so they don't feel uncomfortable or alone. Otherwise, you could introduce them to each other after dinner and the formal reception events are over. I also wouldn't say anything ahead of time to either one of them.
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VIP May 2022
Ava · on April 12, 2021 at 11:08 AM
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I don’t think that would be wrong at all! But I am also a huge fan of matchmaking LOL Could you arrange an “accidental” meeting between the 2 of them prior to your wedding? Like, invite her over to hang some night, and then “discover” that your fiancé “unknowingly” invited him over to help him with something? Or maybe invite her out to dinner then get a “random” text from your fiancé that he’s going to meet a friend for a few cocktails and you should join them after dinner. You could ask your friend to accompany you so you aren’t the “third wheel” with fiancé and his friend.
Think if they meet in what is perceived a random way, with you and FH there to help facilitate conversation, it would be a lot less awkward than two strangers sitting close to one another at a wedding who may not even end up speaking to eachother. This way, if they meet prior, conversation should flow more easily at the wedding and they will be much more apt to hang out, dance, etc. Or, if their “accidental” meeting goes well, maybe they will attend your wedding together!
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Expert September 2021
MK · on April 12, 2021 at 11:10 AM
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I would just like to point out that you are also "wicked cool" for being this way with your FH's ex! That's commendable in itself, a lot of girls are insecure and catty in this kind of thing.
I say absolutely sit them together! I may not harp on it to either of them beforehand. Maybe mention names in passing in a positive way - "Oh my gosh, look how cute our friend (jess) is!" if she posts something? But I wouldn't tell them you're trying to play matchmaker or make any obvious or obnoxious moves to get them together LOL.
But then again, my now fiancé and I were at a wedding together and everyone there was trying to play match maker for us... it seemingly worked LOL. I think playing cupid can be fun!
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Expert September 2021
MK · on April 12, 2021 at 11:13 AM
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Lol I love all of these accidental ideas!
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VIP May 2022
Ava · on April 12, 2021 at 11:16 AM
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Can you tell I’ve done this a time or two? 😂😂
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June 2021
Dj Tanner · on April 12, 2021 at 11:21 AM
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Yeah, I was debating having my fiancé call her and mention it to her because she’s much more of my FHs friend than mine type of deal. Like I wouldn’t call her on the phone type-a deal. I’m close with our guy friend in this equation and I’m sooooo tempted to mention it to him but I’m trying to get some incite on here first before I go blabbering my mouth off lol
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VIP May 2022
Jasmine S. · on April 12, 2021 at 11:25 AM
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I agree you can put them at the same table, but the other people should be someone they know. I suggest also including some couples so it doesn't feel like "the singles table" because some people hate that
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VIP May 2022
Ava · on April 12, 2021 at 11:26 AM
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Hahaha! I think as long as it is kept casual, and doesn’t feel like an obvious setup, it will be fine! Guys tend to be more chill about the sorts of situations. If you don’t think it would make him nervous, you could casually lay down the foundation work or set up an “accidental on purpose” meeting with him in the loop.
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June 2021
Dj Tanner · on April 12, 2021 at 11:28 AM
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Lol, yeah she’s super cool! Like if I was a guy I would totally date her haha!

I mean my FH has this one ex-gf that I cant stand! Lol! To be fair he cant really stand her either because she’s just not a very nice person. Very judge mental and vehemently disagrees with us politically, but unlike some of our friends that we disagree with greatly on politics, we don’t let it destroy our friendship. She takes things to that next level. But her sister is one of my FHs closest friends who is also a really awesome person so we kinda just deal with her. 😂
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June 2021
Dj Tanner · on April 12, 2021 at 11:33 AM
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Omg lol and I just realized you put the quotes on “wicked cool”! I often forget that people from other states typically don’t say “wicked “ lol 😂
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Super November 2021
Heather · on April 12, 2021 at 3:13 PM
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You can definitely have them sit near each other or at least at the same table with others. That way it can just naturally happen. However, just like everyone else, you shouldn't mention it beforehand
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Match maker dos and donts

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