Honorary Bridesmaids? Yes or no!

She's not a bit OCD. She's just a bitch. Dump her ass and surround yourself with people who will love you.

If she's really worried about uniformity, and you're her best friend, maybe she should dump the white friends instead!

She's just trying to make you feel bad for calling her out on her racism. Don't let her get away with it. Send her the link to this thread and block her number.

I have nothing to add to PPs' astute comments besides the following:

"Never make anyone a priority when all you are to them is an option." - Maya Angelou

Omg, YES! @hazelgrace has it right.

Let us at her!

I mean, I can even be eloquent and nice, I have perfected the art of the kind of "fuck you" that makes a person say "why yes, thank you, how kind"....but this bitch, nah fam, she needs it straight up!

She (and her friends) are expecting you to apologize because you were offended by her racist behavior? No. You are not an aesthetic, as a member of a bridal party, you are asked because your relationship is valued, not because you look good in pictures.

You deserve better than friendships like this. Do not apologize.

She is trying to manipulate you. She's spewing racist nonsense under the guise of being OCD??? You should not apologize. Nothing she has said or done has even a hint of honor or friendship.

I don't have a single friend that I'm embarrassed of, or think would throw off the uniformity of my photos. I don't feel that way because one doesn't feel that way about their friends, let alone any other human being.

Don't back down. You don't owe her anything. Her statements show that she is not a real friend and apparently is only willing to be friendly with you when others aren't around. You aren't supposed to have to pay back or be grateful for friendship. And she compared you to underwear? Seriously?

ETA: It sounds like you have been treated very badly by many people because of your race. That seems to have conditioned you to accept her terrible treatment of you and it is difficult to let go of any semblance of friendship. I am very sorry that you have gone through that. If possible, you may want to look into some counseling to help you build up your self-worth.

I agree with Hazel and Amanda, have her come on down to this post, I could use some fun.

I would tell her where to shove it

Look at how many people are offended on your behalf. No one has said they understand where she's coming from. This is not acceptable human behavior.

The evolution of the thread is literally blowing my mind. It started with the insult of you being asked to function as an honorary BM, which is, in any situation, worthy of a "Fuck you very much" response, and it developed into you having the wrong color skin. This makes me simultaneously furious and sad. I'm literally shocked that in this day and age, a mature, educated woman could even consider breathing life into the dead corpse of racism.

Why are you allowing this in your life? Perhaps therapy would help you to understand this community's outpouring of rage. The car is full, and the other nonsense -- all of it -- is sending you a very pointed message, and it is one you must respond to. Your skin color is as random and insignificant as your eye color. There would be a total outrage among brown eyed friends who weren't invited to be honor attendants because she only wanted blue eyed women in her wedding photos. Eye color, like skin color, has nothing to do with the character of the person.

I am begging you to see the truth, and the truth is that this bride is steeped in racism, and she doesn't get any points for giving you title without visibility. Please see this for what it is -- a line in the sand moment; an expose of her heart.

Walk away -- no, run away. Do not attend this wedding, and furthermore, severe all ties with anyone who treats you like a complicated friend. You are you...born the way you were born, and there are countless people who will give you 100%, not 76%. You must see yourself that way, and bowing out of this embarrassment is a great first step.

This is soooooo appalling!!! My heart aches for all the sadness you are going through. These girls are not your friends. Friends sometimes tell you when you are being a little diva or bratty (which naturally you might not like, but that's what friends do). They don't gossip about the color of your skin (which is ridiculous!) and all join in agreement. They are racist and that has nothing to do with you. Do not put these lowlives on a pedestal. And I wouldn't be "covering" for her racist ways. When someone asks you tell them the truth. Fuck that bitch!

Go on bumble to make friends. Try a trivia night at a local bar. Start a new hobby and take a class. Join a fitness group. But don't be surrounded by these "friends" that make you think you owe them something for them even considering to talk to you. Get the fuck outta here with that bullshit

Ugh this makes me so sad and angry for you and kinda angry at you that you feel like you need to apologize to her. What do you think you've done to apologize for. Do not be sorry for who you are and what you look like. You're beautiful and you matter. Never let anyone take that away from you or tell you otherwise. It's time to get a new circle of friends. Surround yourself that appreciate you for who you are.

OP I think everyone else has summed it up nicely, I just want to throw you my support. This girl has been treating you like shit for too long, and that can take a toll on your self esteem and mental health. Please consider some therapy to get past this, because this manipulative bitch should not be a part of your life at all.

We're always here for you, please come to us for anything you need. If you ever feel comfortable posting your location, many of us have made offline friends here and you may be able to attend or organize a meet up.

OP, I'm just so sorry this girl has been treating you this way. NO ONE deserves that.

I'm still thinking about this, and am so sad. @OP, I know what it feels like to be one of few black people in a predominately white setting trying to navigate micro/macroaggressions without completely isolating myself. It sucks. If you want someone to talk to, feel free to ask the mods for my e-mail address.

Op everyone has said pretty much EVERYTHING that needed to be said. Lawd I am boiling reading this. DO NOT apologize to that bitch. She showed you her WHOLE ass...fuck her and the rest of them. There are so many ways to get out and meet new people who accept you for who you are and don’t give a flying fuck about your skin color. She’s utter trash...leave her ass there. No one deserves that!

I’m with @ Brandi. I want to call her for you and give her the read of her life.

I am shocked and disappointed in humanity. This scenario also proves my theory wedding parties the selection is almost always going to cause grief. It is amazing how people pick the wedding party. I have heard everything from height to my latest boss to I thought you would not want to hang around and have photos taken. I have been always for the most part the MC not the groomsman.

I think in time you need to ask yourself do you want her as a friend and how painful is it to sit through the wedding. If it is too painful doit foryourself and maybe her - don't go at all - no point in pouting through an entire wedding. I totally understand. I was ticked off about not being in a wedding party. I sat and fumed all night - I wasn't very forgiving I guess, kind of a bad person. For years I was the one the groom ran to for advice, money, get him out of trouble. I was th eone who would cook and bring the food, helped out with the wedding whereas the other guys played video games, I am the one who drove six hours to come to the wedding and then I was thrown to sit in the back behind a post at the wedding. I know I should be the bigger person but it hurt. That being said wedding parties are a walking time bomb.

There is only 1 common denominator and that is HER, not you. Stop making yourself the problem and allowing her to destroy your self esteem. Value yourself and surround yourself with kind people and you will find real friends. Stand up for yourself. And the first thing I would do is call her and tell her you're sorry that she's such a shitty human being and that you ever wasted time on her. You are better than her and all these other so called friends.

No no no no NO don't apologize for ANYTHING to your "friend" she's a horrible person. You don't deserve to be treated like that by her or anyone else! These people don't appreciate you as a person and that isn't right at all. Respect yourself and don't give in to her nonsense.

OP, you deserve so much better! Her wedding pictures are not more important than her so called best friend. It sounds like you would be much better off without her honestly. I truly hope that you dump those jerks and find real friends soon. No one needs that in their life! You are not the problem, she is the problem.