Honorary Bridesmaids? Yes or no!

OP I hope you come back and let us know how you're doing. We're all rooting for you and want you to know you have our love and support. If you happen to find yourself in Nebraska for whatever mysterious reason, I would love to meet you!

Everyone agreeing that this is the most vile, hateful, disgusting display of human behavior by your so called "friends." Cut off contact, chant that you are beautiful and valued and loved over an over until you don't care about those terrible people anymore. All of us at WW think you are the BEST.

You have true friends in us here at WW, GirlNextDoor. If you are anywhere near Cincinnati or Atlanta hit me up. I have a wonderfully fuzzy dog who will make all your worries go away.

Also, somehow I couldn't help but think she should WANT your beautiful black skin in her wedding pictures because it doesn't compete with her white dress like her pale white, no good, bridesmaids would. So in addition to her racist, evil, inexcusable soul, she has no logical sense either.

ETA: correctly spell words

Can someone tell me what the hell am honorary bridesmaid is?! Never heard of such thing! What an awful situation!

@FutureMrs.Murdock A honorary bridesmaid is a terrible idea that really shouldn't be a thing. It is basically when the bride wants someone to feel like a bridesmaid but they didn't actually make the cut. Sometimes they hand out programs or read during the ceremony or hold candles down the aisle, but the whole idea should be trashed.

But being asked to be an honorary bridesmaid was not the true injustice that was done to GirlNextDoor.

I'm so very sorry you're going through this OP. You have a great community here on WW that has your back. Sending you a bunch of virtual hugs. I know right now you may seem scared to lose a "friend" especially if you feel that you don't have many. Please know that people that are this toxic will hurt your heart in the long run. These people are racist, ignorant, rude, and downright monsters. You do not have to extend your hand to them to try and make them change. They will realize once they lose you how awful they were to you.

Hoping OP comes back with a (final) update, and to let us know she's ok...

I'm in NJ, OP, if you are in the area and need a new, non-batshit friend

@OP, you've got a friend in NYC.

Girl, this is all I needed to see to let me know that you should run, run, run away from this situation as quickly as possible: "Her “friends” & mom bailed out on her & none of the girls picked up or called back when she was calling to show them the dress."

So I am sure that I totally late as we are in June 2018; I began m search for honorary bridesmaids because I wanted to see if it was a good idea since I don't want any. Reading your thread and updates are extremely upsetting and I pray that you stuck to your guns and dropped her + group out of your life. Black is beautiful and should never be a reason why you're not included in your "best friends" wedding. Not sure if links work on here but it'd be really cool to link up and talk wedding stuff - right now I'm dragging. (insert dramatic cries emoji) https://www.facebook.com/DaTruBeauty

- Bella

It’s her wedding her choices a line has to be drawn somewhere and either you get on board or you make things harder on her for what? Your hubris?

View Quoted Comment I’m not surprised you missed the whole point of this conversation.
Her wedding and her choice, yes. but how morally correct was her actions towards me? Not just as a bride, but as a friend overall. And is it wrong of me to wonder whether or not I wanna be part of her bridal party in such way?
I was still in the process of deciding whether I wanted or not. Make things harder on her? How? When? Where? She already got a divorce. Moved on from that man and is dating a nee one. Wow. Time flies.

I have been thinking about this post all day, thanks to the. comment someone posted under this discussion. I even forgot I talked about this whole situation somewhere. Lots of memories and moments I tried to forget.
Back then, I listened to the comments and told my husband to get an input from someone who knew me as well as the girls. He insisted I apologized and explained she could have been going through a lot with the wedding planning, the big changes in her life, and so on. Maybe I was overreacting, maybe she didn’t really mean it that way, and maybe the language barrier made me misunderstand, etc. Maybe I should be less sensitive and more understanding. I asked myself lots of questions and had many doubts back then.
I did apologize as he asked. He insisted we attend the wedding. We did, but I declined the honorary bridesmaid position with a better excuse and a nicer explanation. Some of the girls accepted my apologies, some did not. It feels like it all happened such a long time ago. So much has changed in my life since then. Looking back, I have made many mistakes I believe, It has been an interesting experience. I learned a lot from it. I think.