Honorary Bridesmaids? Yes or no!

100% do not apologize. Those are bullshit excuses on her part for being a racist, bad person, and horrible, horrible friend. Please do not let this person devalue you, and cut your ties with her. At the very least, do NOT go to her wedding

NOOOO, do not apologize to that racist asshole. She is NOT your friend. You deserve so much better. How the hell did she try to flip this on you. She knows she is wrong and is attempting to gaslight you. That is cruel and manipulative. Anyone who says you should apologize is colluding complicit in her racism and is NOT your friend.

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DO NOT APOLOGIZE! You are not in the wrong at all. SHE is. Please stop internalizing their racism and thinking you are at fault. I would cut ties with everyone in that community. You do not deserve them. It hurts to read this. I know what it's like to be the "token black friend" and feel distance, be made fun of by my former " friends because of my hair, my routines (like wearing a scarf over my hair when I sleep), Jamaican food (my family is Jamaican and they didn't care when I told them how offensive they were being). I don't have a lot of authentic relationships because I wanted so badly to be friends with the cool group of girls in my dorm, but they did not appreciate or care for me. I know what it's like to be abandoned at parties, left out of group outings, etc. Girl, I feel for you and feel WITH you. But please know that you are perfect as you are, and no person can truly make you feel inferior because of your blackness. Hugs.

Apologise to her? Dear god no! If her friends want you to apologise to her, then they are just as bad. Time to break off from some friendships OP.

This is seriously one of the worst stories I’ve read on this forum.

She's a user and a manipulator. Sounds like she's only friends with you because you're letting her stay with you every other night because your place is more convenient to her job! Does she pay you rent or anything? If not, tell her you're going to start charging her rent and see how long she sticks around!

No. It's disrespectful to you and your friendship with that person. She's a crappy friend.

My heart aches for you OP, and I want you to know that you deserve better. You have value as a person and as a friend and you do not deserve to be treated like you are replaceable.

What does your DH say?

Does your DH have friends in the area that you can start spending more time with, and cultivating friendships with them? Join a club and meet different people. These girls are not people you want to hang around. They will contaminate you with their vileness.

No, still shame on her. She sounds like a terrible person. She is not and never has been a true friend. She sounds manipulative and insecure. Screw her. Delete her number and you will be happier for it in the long run

Really, I am having a hard time coming up with words here.

RE your page 5 update: YOU ARE NOT to be compared to a damn tablecloth, or a pair of undergarments that might ruin the uniformity of a color palette. You are a human being. I cannot believe this was even a conversation.

I am so completely sorry that you have had to experience a person like this, and that they are parading themselves around as your "friend". The fact that you are rationalizing her behavior makes me think that you've grown to a point of complacency with being treated like this. Please do yourself a favor and cut all ties with this entire group.

Sweetheart, no. These people don't deserve your friendship. This is NOT OK. You are NOT at fault. You have NOTHING to apologize for. Repeat this to yourself as many times as you need. Unless her 8 BM's are all identical twins there will not be uniformity in her wedding party. You are not a tablecloth, you are not a decoration. You are a beautiful human being and she, nor anyone else, has any right to tell you or make you feel like any less. Stick up for yourself and value yourself. There's a Spanish proverb that says "Mejor sola que mal acompanada" roughly translates to better alone than ill accompanied. You're better off on your own.

Do not apologize to that racist, horrible excuse for a friend. Besides the fact that she went on to insult you the other day, it seems she's always been a terrible friend to you, and a completely shitty human being, and you're too good for that kind of treatment. That relationship isn't worth saving.

She's taking advantage of your friendship and not providing you with a true one in return. You need to drop that sorry human being. Not even worth a second thought! I'm SO sorry, OP.

Express to her that you will attend as a guest but there is no need to give you an honorary title.

The thing is your favorite colors don't have feelings like people do. So if green and blue don't get to be part of something, being excluded doesn't hurt their feelings. This is the most god awful sounding person that has ever shown up on this board that I can think of.

Yea no girl bye! I would definitely be very hurt and it would hurt the friendship for sure. Sorry you're going through this! ::hugs::

Whhhaaaaat the hell....your friend is crazy....and extremely racist. She seriously compares treating you, a human being, the same as a table cloth because of color....uhhhmmm....I'm sorry what?!?!

Run from this relationship as fast as you can. It's toxic and you deserve better. Please don't put yourself down over this.

That is terrible! I can't believe someone could even have the heart for that to be a reason to not have someone in their WP especially with how it seemed like you all were so close. I think I would definitely decline altogether and wish her the best. Wow I just can't believe people

Nononono. They don't deserve you. They somehow made it seem like your doing something wrong & you're the one that should apologize?! NOPE. Sorry, but FUCK them. It sounds like she's using you & the other "friends" are just "nice" to you bc they have to be. They're mean girls & you don't need that!

She just showed you she's not your true friend. Your "friend" is racist. Do not allow yourself to be the friend she points to to prove she's not racist.

No fuck that ungrateful bitch! Do not apologize for anything! How dare her so any of this to you. Omg she would no longer be my friend and I most definitely would not attend her wedding. Ugh what a horrible person she is!!!