Empty wedding fund woes

I just don't like the idea of him being paid out $1MM + unless we are married. Which is why I told him not to add me to his policy through work. Once we are married I'll get insurance and add him to it.

Cremation can be done for $700. I googled it. Yes you can just toss ashes. People do it all the time. We did it with my uncles ashes.

This thread. WTF.

Not legally. I do funerals as well as weddings.\

As someone who has only had 1 parent for the majority of their life, I know it can be unexpected so I can't imagine not having all necessary insurances. On a non-related note, I don't really think you should harvest your plasma just for the money however DH does it because he has a rare blood type.

@EW-if you can get a million dollar pay-out policy at your age without paying through the nose, good luck! You must be in excellent health and have absolutely no health issues on either side of your family.

Ok EW. Just live in your little "I know everything" bubble. Good luck when the shit hits the fan and you have no back up plan and have to sell everything you've worked hard for; but I guess that's ok since you've had so many great vacations.

What did I stumble into?

@EW, I'm regularly horrified yet entertained by your comments on here but your thoughts on your FH being your beneficiary takes the cake.

Unless he killed you for the insurance money why would you have a problem with him getting the money in the event of your death?

@Sour Shoes-duh, 'cause she doesn't want to support him before they're married. She's single and free until then!

OH MY FUCKING GOD.

NO.

NO YOU CANNOT JUST THROW THEM ANYWHERE!!!

"If you want to keep or scatter cremated ashes in California, you should be aware of the following state and federal rules.

California Laws on Storing and Scattering Ashes

California’s laws about dealing with ashes are the strictest in the nation. While many people let common sense and good judgment be their guides -- scattering ashes under a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy -- it’s wise to know the state laws.

California allows you to dispose of cremated remains by:

placing them in a columbarium or mausoleum

burying them on cemetery grounds

keeping them at home (the law requires that you sign a permit and agree not to remove the cremated remains from their container; you must also make arrangements to dispose of the ashes at your death)

storing them at a church or other religious structure, if allowed by local zoning laws

scattering them in a cemetery scattering garden

scattering them in any area of the state where there is no local prohibition, if you obtain written permission from the property owner or governing agency (the ashes must be removed from their container and scattered so they are not visible to the public)

scattering them at sea or inland navigable waters (the scattering must occur at least 500 yards from shore), except for lakes and streams.

For more information, see the website of the California Cemetery and Funeral Bureau.

Federal Rules on Scattering Ashes

The following guidelines apply if you want to scatter ashes on federal land or at sea.

Scattering ashes on federal land. Officially, you should request permission before scattering ashes on federal land. However, you will probably encounter no resistance if you conduct the scattering ceremony quietly and keep the ashes well away from trails, roads, facilities, and waterways. You can find guidelines for scattering ashes on the websites for some national parks. For more information, begin your search at the website of the National Park Service.

Scattering ashes at sea. The federal Clean Water Act requires that cremated remains be scattered at least three nautical miles from land. If the container will not easily decompose, you must dispose of it separately. The EPA does not permit scattering at beaches or in wading pools by the sea. Finally, you must notify the EPA within 30 days of scattering ashes at sea.

The Clean Water Act also governs scattering in inland waters such as rivers or lakes. For inland water burial, you may be legally required to obtain a permit from the state agency that manages the waterway.

Scattering ashes by air. California doesn't have any laws on this, but federal law prohibits dropping any objects that might injure people or harm property. The U.S. government does not consider cremains to be hazardous material. So all should be well as long as you remove the ashes from their container before scattering.

For more information, including contact information for the EPA representative in California, see Burial of Human Remains at Sea on the EPA website.

Learn more

To learn about the federal Funeral Rule, which protects consumers in all states, visit the website of the Federal Trade Commission.

For more information about funeral laws in California, see Making Funeral Arrangements in California.

To find out more about funerals and other final arrangements, see the Getting Your Affairs in Order section of Nolo.com.

I'm fine paying through the nose. That's why I work. A few of my friends have million dollar policies and I know there are health conditions in the family.

@Leah- I have lost a lot of loved ones. Some had traditional funerals and some just had a party and we all moved on. I can tell you the grieving process is the same regardless of how you say goodbye. My step Dad passed away a year ago from cancer. We had a large celebration of life and kept the ashes. He did not want us to spend a lot of money. He thought all of that was a waste. I have to agree and I know my family wouldn't mind not having a big to do.

Who said I don't care about the kids in my care?? They are very well taken care of. FH works and I guess if I die he'll have to go back to supporting his own kids. Just like if we were to break up.

@JoRocka- yeah staying home is one option. Or I could grab my FH and the kids and go somewhere awesome. Which is what I do. I don't see why everyone has so much to say about how others spend their money.

After reading more comments holy mother shes 37 !! This does get better smdh

Because you don't have the money to do so- that's why.

So much fuckery.

Obviously I do have the money since I went to Hawaii twice last year. I save and scrimp and go as cheap as possible. No need to judge people. We all choose to live differently. If you choose to stay home and save then great! If you choose to die for you money that's okay too. Soooo much judgement.

@EW: Maybe instead of a Honeyfund, you should ask people to contribute to a life insurance policy. Still rude, but at least you're helping provide for the kids whose lives you will be screwing over should something happen to you.

What did this thread turn into.......ETA: "if you choose die for your money thats okay too" what is the context of that statement, I'm so confused.

1. Great date, it's my birthday!

2. You may need to consider pushing back or toning it down. Take care of the necessities first!

BeachDreams I was wondering the same thing.

Ok, honestly, I think you have to push your date back & do everything you can to save, save, save! DH & I had a very small wedding in a location that isn't too pricey (45 guests in Colorado) & we spent well over our budget of $10k. I'm not saying this to try to brag or anything like that. I'm telling you this so you get an idea of the realistic cost of having a wedding. It's important that you save some money not only for the cost of the wedding but for emergencies like the one you're having now. Trust me, you don't want to get caught in a situation where you've spent all of your funds on your wedding only to end up with a similar problem & then have no way to take care of it. I think it would be in your best interest to push the date back, try to cut as many unnecessary expenses as possible, pick up some side gigs & save as much as possible. It adds up quick. This is exactly how we paid for our wedding. Even with the help of parents you're going to struggle to have a wedding for the amount you've suggested. You have to think of invitations, decor, music, cake, alcoholic drinks (please don't have a cash bar), food, flowers, your dress, alterations, what your FH is going to wear, shoes, hair, accessories, etc.. It adds up fast. ETA - didn't read other comments before posting my own. Wow!