Empty wedding fund woes

@OP-we had a thread last week (which was hidden) where someone revealed they were selling plasma to pay for their wedding, so you'll excuse some of is who have heard everything for offering some advice. Especially when you posted and ghosted.

Sheesh. This is intense. OP, I am sorry you're going through a tough financial spot, but I agree that the wedding should be secondary to savings. I get it. It is hard and life isn't always fair. Just a few months before our wedding my tenants bought a house and moved out, I relocated and moving is expensive, and I took a lower paying job.

We both have lived below our means since we graduated and have many contingency plans in place because life has bitched slapped us both around. I would have loved to afford a 100 person plus celebration, but when I looked at how much it would cost versus our financial goals we made the decision to go small. Now we can buy a house tomorrow of we want, go on vacation whenever we can get PTO. We both drive civics, our condo is less than an apartment, and we eat at home almost every night. We have financial freedom because we are frugal and disciplined, not because we are rich or came from money. But, it is our decisions such as having a small wedding and driving old crappy cars that gives us this freedom...just some food for thought.

I'm sorry but if you are so strapped for cash you should just go to the courthouse and get married, then a year or so down the line have a vow renewal so you aren't basically becoming homeless and putting out your parents 3K for a poorly hosted wedding on a day that is quite frankly inconvenient for your guests.

Hawaii Air- $358 roundtrip. Just sayin.

I ghosted bc I went to bed because my FH and I were at work all night scrubbing toilets and greasy floors to make our pay so we can build our emergency fund back up and then maybe if we are lucky our wedding fund too. And getting down on someone who is willing to sell plasma to help reach their goals isn't cool, bc honestly that plasma is still saving someone's life whether the money paid for the donation is used for pleasure or needs. My FH donates when we hit financial strife, he is scheduled tomorrow actually. If I could donate as well I would be doing it every time he does to ensure our well being in life.

Of course I have insurance! Medical, car and renters. I meant if it was beyond all that I might sell my car or something. I just would rather travel than save at this point. I know it's hard to understand but it's just a different life choice. And no my parents don't bail me out and neither does FH. I barely count his income after child support. I pay for myself. It's not about growing up. It's just a different way I guess. I worked with a guy who saved all his money and ate from dumpsters. Not what I would do but the guy owned a bunch of property because he chose to live off of what others waste.

@EW: So we can compare apples to apples.

Not everyone lives in California, I know that's a hard concept to understand.

My family is in hawaii and I'm in Texas i wish it were only $300 round trip

@OP: oh dear God. You've got to be fucking kidding me.

Yeah, if you can't afford to pay for your wedding except by utilizing regular plasma donations, you are definitely financially stable enough to be having a wedding.

Damn, some people need to grow up and learn how to live like an adult! Scraping by is fine for teenagers, but there comes a point where you need to ducking realize that life is not going to continue to be like it is right this moment, forever.

When I think about what it would be like to never be able to retire because I didn't bother to plan for retirement, it's a damn fucking depressing thought.

@EW-Do you not have life insurance? Or disability insurance? FFS, how do you adult?

I want to go to the YOLO school of financial planning...

We aren't doing it for our wedding, we are doing it bc the emergency funds are gone as well as the wedding fund (which we joked was the emergency funds to the emergency fund) and we are in a precarious situation. We are lucky enough to own our home, vehicle and a business so we are secure enough, but not having anything for back up scares FH enough he will go face the dreaded needles. He also occasionally does it to have an unplanned night of fun without effecting our budget. We joke that it is our blood money and should be used for fun ETA: Additional comment

@Jessie- definitely more than what I am paying. I will say that I try to shop around and find the best deals and I buy what produce is in season. If that means broccoli all month then that's what we do. Meat is expensive so I only buy what is on sale and I stock up and freeze it.

@MNA- actually doing all that sounds very romantic to me. Staying at the Four Seasons for $800 a night would never interest me because I would be thinking how many more vacations that could pay for.

And yes I have my groceries delivered sometimes but I still compare prices.

Yeah, @EW, I'm fucking lucky I live in Ontario which has the lowest grocery prices in Canada because we grow most of the food. If I lived in Alberta it would be almost 1/3 more and if I lived in Nunavut, triple that. Maybe, you should get outside your bubble before telling people shit. Not everyone has the luxury of living in a temperate clime.

Go shoot you a few deer next season it'll save yall some money

FSS. There is no shame in changing your plans if your financial status changes.

Think about that.

@Amanda: Been there, done that. A deer doesn't last very long, and there are these things called hunting seasons. It's illegal to hunt outside of them.

@EW: Oh, no. You said you rarely even leave the house. Your words were that you do all of your grocery shopping online and have it delivered, shop for everything else via Amazon, etc.

You live with a silver spoon in your mouth, but you have absolutely nothing to fall back on if times get hard, and sooner or later, they will.

It's honestly disgusting that anyone over 25 would put CHILDREN in that type of situation. It's irresponsible, and it only teaches them to be just as irresponsible. Such a gross way to live.

@Jessie- I apologize. I know Canada has very high taxes but isn't health care free for you?

No life insurance yet. Who would even get the money if I'm not married and have no kids? My parents don't need it and I'm an only child. I'll be getting it once I am married and have someone who can use it should something happen.