Empty wedding fund woes

Friendors, secret bankruptcies......happy new year.

'Doing a wedding for cheap" almost always ends up with a discussion on how to use your friends to save you money. Low rent, honestly. Invite less people and let them all be guests. Using your friends, calling in favors? That's not sacrificing. That is cheaping out to do a bigger party than you can afford to do. (I can tell you that in all my years of doing this, in catering and in officiating, I've done exactly one ceremony for free, at my suggestion, and one catering gig for less money than it should have been...again, at my suggestion. Friends don't make friends employees.

EW? The most problematic thing, at least my impression, is that he isn't telling you the truth (I can tell you that no one who has gone through bankruptcy forgets it; it's a pretty long, painful process), he somehow managed to get a 5000.00 Sears bill, (inconceivable to begin with, but that's another story) and forget about it, and that you seem to think these kids are his not collectively yours beyond the day to day.

Well no, the most problematic thing is the "YOLO" metality, especially when you have bigger, more dangerous fish to fry.

You have a prenup to protect your assets? what assets? you don't have any.

I don't even understand any of this.

Our funds are not what we wish them to be either & the costs is all on us. We've had a really hard look at what would be important 5-10 yrs out regarding what we want our memories to be instead of getting caught up in what you 'need' for a wedding:

1) Getting married is all you really need....each other : )

2) Stress fee as much as possible to be able to enjoy the day (keeping a realistic budget, timeline, etc)

3) Guest to be comfortable (dancing, dinner-n-drinks...which could be an Ipod setup with brunch-n-tea)

4) A few great pics of us & our guests

I'm forgoing a LOT of my 'OMG I love this' item/ideas & really started questioning EVERYTHING- do we need it/want it, will it help with the priorities listed above? So far, we plan on forgoing the following:

* Rehearsal dinner (simply ceremony/not held in a church & doing the rehearsal the day of)

* Late afternoon wedding on a Friday so we can have a better deal on a 4 hour drink package, where we can supply an open bar for dinner drinks & then switch to free beer/soda with a cash bar

* Schedule also allows us to do a 1st look/wedding party/family pics before the ceremony & allows us to just get a 6 hr photography package rather than a whole day.

* Venue offers white napkins & tablecloths & we are just going with it - not renting colored table clothes/runners-n-such

* Found a Facebook group for 'wedding resale' & have done well with that. Found 'my' veil for 75% less. $10 for wine bottles for centerpieces that are already painted a great color & over 50% off large leaf ring holders that will fit around them : ) Just some examples. Plus if items are in good condition, I can re-sell them afterwards.

* 1 bridesmaid is pretty petite & is able to get the same dress in a junior size for 1/3 off the regular sized price (had to 'push' the bridal shop on this one; but we got it).

I know some will say you HAVE to do x or it's rude, etc...it's not! As long as you are keeping your guests in mind. I would have no problem attending a wedding with a cash bar (although it would be handy to inform guest ahead of time so they bring &dollar & the 'rule' that you should attend a wedding unless you can gift at least the amount of your dinner cost is sad...if I invite someone to our wedding...it's because I want them there! I would be horrified if someone didn't attend because they couldn't 'cover their meal'?!? Just my thoughts...

Why the hell revive a thread that has been dead for FIVE DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why was this brought back five days later?

Really why? Did you even read the whole thread @ambrok

That's not new news @Celia. I've posted many times that my Dad and Aunt offered to pay for my wedding. The budget they gave me doesn't cover the wedding. We will be paying for a lot ourselves. It doesn't change the fact that OP could still find a way to make her dream wedding happen.

@MNA- I just saw your post. Pretty sure it's the second. They defaulted on the bankruptcy payment plan. This was at least 10 years ago. Not sure why it took so long for people to start trying to collect the debt. We pulled his credit score about a year ago and the sears wasn't even on it. Maybe the bankruptcy changed how things are reported? No idea but we're going to figure it out.

@JoRocka- I have no assets now but will have inheritance from my parents, step Dad (he passed last year and the money and estate is in a trust) Aunt (Dads sister) and an Uncle (Mom's brother) both of whom have no kids of their own. I just want to protect myself in the future. I also want FH to be protected in case we get divorced and I become a complete B. HaHa!

Never mind...I won't be posting on this site again. I didn't have time to go thru the entire 16 pages of comments on here using the F bomb & a few commenters taking over the site by just going back-n-forth. Good night, ya'll

@Ambrok, it's not that you didn't read all the comments (although that can be greatly useful to providing context of the discussion) you revived a thread that has been dead (meaning no one has posted on it) for five days.

I think that you need to scale back or postpone.

Being honest here (not snarky), if the truck repairs have wiped out your savings, putting on a wedding is the last thing that you should spend money on. You need to have savings on hand, should one of you find yourselves unemployed, or have any unexpected medical expenses.

You seem to be open to options (based on the posts that I have read, so far.)

Best wishes!

@Nikki? Why get upset with me?

@Kathy, I'm new on this site & found there are apparently 'rules' about when you can comment on a thread?!? 5 days old isn't old, in my opinion; but clearly my opinion doesn't count. I've read a few other threads & see so many negative/snarky comments that I don't know if I should even start one/post comments, etc. I don't need that.

Wow...wtf?

I’m doing my whole wedding for under 700 dollars. I have a friend of mine doing photography as a gift, I’m keeping decorations simple and shopping around to get them as cheap as I can, getting married at a local park that’s beautiful and very affordable, and we are doing a taco bar for food. We only have 80 people invited and we are figuring about 50 of those will actually show up so it’ll be easy to self cater the taco bar. My dress was bought on clearance for 200 dollars and my grandpa is making my bouquet! We also are just doing speakers and making a playlist instead of hiring a DJ. It’s definitely not been easy to plan with that small of a budget but it is doable!