Empty wedding fund woes

Oh and I have no debt besides my car. I also don't have savings but I'm okay with it. I always figure it out. Everyone lives differently. It's okay.

1. why did you ask?

2. Your friends and family are never going to say anything to your face. They will come to whatever you plan and bitch behind your back.

3. You got valuable life planning experience here, which you've chosen to ignore because you're insulted.

4. why did you ask?

If you spent more than the ten minutes it took to write your post here, you'd know that almost everyone here is in favor of having a wedding that suits your means; not spending the most money possible. They are all ABOUT having the wedding you can afford.

The bottom line is that you will ignore everything that was said here, in very good faith, not with shaming in mind. And the next crisis?

It might take you out.

Good luck.

Erin wood, excuse me for not taking financial advice from someone who thinks a trip to Hawaii is inexpensive and affordable.

@EW-you live in a very different world from most of the rest of us. Where I am, $50 a week wouldn't buy enough groceries for FH and I, never mind a small child. We also pay for a home and all the expenses involved. The fact that you don't have any savings is not something to brag about. What do you do if something catastrophic happens? It is really irresponsible to tell the OP that it's okay to be irresponsible just because you are.

@Jo; Mr. Money Mustache rocks; thank you for introducing us.

Also; Fox on stocks, smartypig, digit.co (not com), dave ramsey for sure, Tory Johnson, The Simple Dollar.

I'd rather buy champagne that save (well, or than do anything.....) but I'm old. I've been living on nothing for years..... so I can save money and not work for anyone else.

The ugly truth? Too many people are two paychecks away from homelessness. And I have to tell you, the situation is not going to get any better after Jan. 20th.

Wedding shit aside, what happens if one half of a couple falls ill and can't work? How will those medical bills that stack up get paid? How will the rent/mortgage get paid? Disability insurance isn't always offered and when it is, it doesn't usually pay your full salary.

That's why you can't always have a YOLO/you can't take it with you kind of attitude. That's why a decent savings account is necessary. Nobody is saying that you have to have a 6-figure cushion, but you need to have enough to not have to "figure it out" and get by if/when the time comes.

Maybe look at everything you have planned for the wedding and see where you can cut things if you're not willing to reduce your guest list. As for savings, start making a plan for that at the same time. I bought my wedding shoes the other day from a local shop. The owner admitted she was still paying off her wedding that was 15 months ago!! If there's one thing I'm sure of it is that no wedding is worth going into debt for.

How do you not have any savings and you're okay with it?

With every post, I become more and more convinced that EW isn't a real poster, but simply a character the poster plays to rile people up.

AKA troll.

@Jo-that's like people who don't have insurance or retirement plans...how?why?how?

Elizabeth, I totally agree. I don't play anymore unless the advice may cause harm. IE to someone's finances.

No one here says you must spend a fortune on your wedding. What we do say is weddings that are hosted properly are not cheap and the larger the guest list, the more expensive the event becomes. The longtime members here ALWAYS advocate to plan a wedding within your means! If you cannot pay both the costs of your event and your basic bills at the same time, then it doesn't take a masters degree to figure out that you cannot afford the wedding you are planning. The #1 suggestion that is given on these forums to cut costs is to cut your guest list! Your wedding should not cost your guests extra money beyond what they paid to wear, to travel to get the event and the gift they choose to bring you. No matter where you live and how common it may be, it is rude to require your guests to pay for alcoholic beverages and proves that you cannot truly afford the amount of guests you are hosting. Making guests pay for alcoholic beverages is the equivalent to charging them for their meal.

Wow. So much crap here.

I'm in the Midwest. One of the poorest, lowest COL state's in the US. You can NOT find a decent caterer who will cater for less than $15/pp plus tip. It just isn't going to happen. Then you have to factor in alcohol, another $20-$25/pp. I'm calling bullshit on your quote, OP. Even on a Monday. Then again, doing a cash bar, it might be true because you're shoving off your expenses as a HOST onto your guests, which is rude af.

I've only ever been to ONE cash bar wedding, and that was my cousin's. This is the girl who growing up, even her parents called her "queenie," so you can just imagine the entitled attitude she has. Of course she pocketed the bar money so she could take a big honeymoon. My aunt and uncle, who gave her the money for the wedding, were mortified when they found out. The ATM ran out of cash that night, by the way, and by 9:00 the guests had left her reception to go to the hotel's actual bar because it was cheaper and they took credit cards. The family still talks about it, and she had next to no one attend her subsequent marriage. Oh, and literally NOBODY in the family will accept an invitation from her to pretty much anything after that. She showed us all just how entitled she really feels. If you've only ever been to weddings with cash bars, it just means you run with rude ass people who don't give a damn about hosting properly, not that it's normal for your area.

I also agree with @Sass. If you're living paycheck to paycheck where you can't afford to take care of things an have to cut corners like you're doing, you really aren't financially in any position to be having a big wedding in the first place. Take that $3k, take 20 people (parents, siblings, and a BM/MoH) out to a lively dinner, and spend a long weekend away for a minimoon. You don't make yourself struggle so you can have a big wedding. If you want the big white wedding, you fucking earn it, not slit your own throats to have it. You get better jobs or second jobs, save up, create a cushion for emergencies like your truck, and THEN save for a wedding. Damn. Adults shouldn't need to be told this.

Oh, and YOLO is what people say when they lack any sense.

Question: does everyone have friends that wont be honest about things? Sure maybe a couple will sugar coat it but I know some of my friends will be hard with the truth, even if it stings. And I don't live in everything is perfect land. If someone is ok with something, could it be that's how they really feel? I know we have nothing invested but maybe others have different ideas and are ok with it. If my friend said, we can't afford this, it wouldn't be a end all for me coming, I would be supportive and have a good time no matter what. It's really a bummer about your car because that is definitely not foreseen and it looks like the date may not change. I would suggest maybe a quick elopement and then have something towards the end of the year if that works out better for you family. It sounds like you have a few hiccups and I hope it all works out for you. Hopefully in the next week or two you'll have a better idea of the situation and how to go from there. Sometimes the first day of this is rough because you can't imagine how it will work but then it comes together.

Flying by the seat of your pants financially is NEVER good idea EW. I have been the person who was on medical leave for 5 months at 60% of my salary. I thanked God every day I had small house payments and savings. I am older than many brides and more established but I can tell you that shit happens in life. I was able to take basically 1 month off without pay before my wedding to care for my sick father at the end of his life. I worked part time for a year or so along the way also. during his cancer fight. If he did not have a doctor appointment or treatment, I worked that day. The home we lived in was paid for because it was a starter type home and that was a great sense of security for a long time. Erin what would happen if you lost your job or got sick? Not having savings is very irresponsible, and not good advice.

So is everyone missing the part where she did say the bar was open for cocktail hour? She's knowing her crowd here and knows they won't drink much. You all don't know that they won't get their fill with beer and wine during that. I don't see what she's doing wrong here with providing beer and wine for some time when her crowd more than likely won't be drinking all night. I've been on here and lurked and a lot of people say "know your crowd" and "open bar". She knows the crowd and providing open drinks. You all need to chill in that aspect because apparently she just can't win.

I'm sorry. I'm really not trying to rile anyone up. I'm just trying to be supportive of everyone. I have actually met woman that wished they would have borrowed some money to have the wedding they wanted. 10 years later and they still have regrets. I'm certainly not telling anyone do anything. Just saying what I chose to do and giving different perspectives. No idea what I would do if something catastrophic happened. I guess I'd start by selling a lot of my belongings. Take out a loan to cover it and make payments until it's gone. Get a second or third job if I had to.

Again- Hawaii can be affordable for a lot of people. I'm not staying in fancy hotels or eating out when I go. You can camp on the beach for $5 a day and catch your own fish. I would say most people can afford $5.

@Amber-that's a bait and switch and it's rude as fuck. Ruder even than a cash bar because it pisses off your guests who feel deceived.

Katie, if someone makes a FB post for validation about a bad idea, their friends will agree just because they love the person. I'm not going to go on FB and publicly call someone rude.

@Katie: Of course people won't be honest. That would be rude. We as a society are CONDITIONED from early childhood to never, ever break THAT etiquette rule: pointing out to someone when they are breaking etiquette/being rude. That's why this forum exists: to specifically be able to get feedback on whether someone is doing something rude/offensive/in breach of etiquette that their guests will happily gossip about behind their backs for the next 30 years, but would NEVER say to their face.

Also, telling someone that is living paycheck to paycheck to just wait and see and hope everything will magically work out, is just cruel.