Empty wedding fund woes

@snowqueen awesome advice

Open bar or no open bar... that usually doesn't change how an adult drinks in my experience. I'm sorry some of you surround yourself with broke immature "adults" that will get buckwild once they are let loose on an open bar. Again I don't think that's a real thing. Just your excuse to be cheap.

That's why our date night checka are so high. LOL we have no problem paying for alcohol and of course then paying for the taxi to get home safe.

Ok y'all...cash bar is NOT a Midwest thing...I live in a little no name town in Indiana. I have yet to attend a cash bar wedding...you might want to rethink your reasoning on this...

It's interesting that when OP ghosted us, Dawn suddenly appeared.

Anyways, OP/Dawn - having a party you can't afford shouldn't take precedence over your basic necessities like food and transportation. My advice to you is to meet with a financial planner to get your finances on track.

You haven't bought a dress yet? David's Bridal has some pretty amazing dresses on sale. I bought my dress for $99. I would definitely be looking now. You might even have to look for a second hand dress.

Sorry about your car and good luck!

Ok I am going out on my limb and asking "Can you get a PT job?" I know FH works long hours at the cleaners, but what about you picking up some extra hours at work or getting a PT job? I am a nurse and worked all the OT my body could stand while taking care of my sick father to pay for my wedding. I worked home health so I literally would multiply the pay for OT visits by number of folks I could feed at the reception. Hubs worked FT, and went to school FT for software engineer while we were planning, so his OT was very limited. Give it some thought.

Dawn, no one said you 'know nothing anything about weddings' ... don't put words in our mouths.

Let me ask you can you afford to put money towards the wedding from your paycheck instead of it being put into a fund?

You should totally do open soda bar! ***insert sarcasm***

I dont think you ruffled anyones feathers they are just trying to tell you that if you cant afford it push it back , every suggestion is met with an excuse, like you just want people to feel bad for you, f.y.i cash bar is not a Midwest thing

Sorry to hear that OP. UO here, but a lot of people feel like the right steps are school, then careers, then marriage. While millions in the bank is ideal it's not everyone's path or story. It's impossible for it to be honestly. It sounds like you guys already have some of the big things figured out. Decorations are not necessary. DB has sales for $99. All you REALLY need is your SO and a JOP or officiant honestly. Good luck!

Only marginally read the comments.

Life gets in the way. And unfortunately, many people don't plan for life while they're planning for their wedding. Few people have emergency funds to cover stuff like cars, health, job loss, but they go on to plan expensive weddings anyway, when that is clearly down the list. Your other finances should be together before you even consider the luxury of having a wedding reception. A wedding probably would cost less than 200.00; license, officiant, lunch for witnesses.

I'm not chiding you but here are some things to think about;

Cash bars are not a regional thing, they're a cheap thing. Whether it's cheap out of necessity, cheap out of 'our friends are all drunks" or cheap rooted in, "we don't drink so we're not paying for our adult friends to drink", it's still cheap. It's mingy. And changing from a hosted bar to a cash one is confusing to the guests and annoying to the staff.

Change the plans. Cut the guests, find a great officiant, a nice restaurant, change the date to off season if you can, and save the stress for other things in life.

In NJ, on of the most expensive wedding places on the planet, I can do a wedding for 20 with me, a photographer, a musician, great lunch, wine and simple flowers for 3000.00 or less.

I'm doing a brunch reception in central NJ for $80... Under 5K with alcohol, food, a sushi station, photo booth.. a bunch of extras... So it can be done. You just need to find the right location.. look at places that do Sweet Sixteen and Bar/Bat mitzvahs.

Cash bars are not regional. They are more based on norms within social circles. Every time someone comes on here and says "cash bars are normal in X region / city / state", there are people from that same place who have never seen a cash bar. It is likely that you just have rude and cheap friends. That does not make a cash bar ok.

OP, being financially stable means establishing an emergency fund to cover large, unexpected expenses like vehicle repair (or if your furnace or AC breaks down, you have a leaky roof, etc). An emergency fund will allow you to cover these expenses without depleting other savings. This should be more of a priority than throwing a party.

OP - as someone who recently got married - if you don't have the majority of the money you need for your wedding now, you need to push your date/scale back. You will have enough stress in the days/months leading up to the wedding without having to worry about money. It seems like you don't have a ton of extra after paying bills (see: small emergency fund), which means it will be difficult for you to save what you need by July. Push the date or scale back.

Erin Wood, it's not rude. It's honest. If you're living paycheck to paycheck, you shouldn't be spending money on unnecessary things. Yes, weddings are unnecessary. They are luxuries. If you're dead set on getting married and cannot feasibly afford it, go to the courthouse with a beautiful outfit, a gorgeous bouquet from the store, and your FS. No need to get into further financial trouble.

If car repairs put you in a deep hole, you're doing something wrong. The rule of thumb is to have 3 months' rent in savings for emergencies so that you do not get yourself into trouble.

@Sass- That's not really for you to say. Sure it's not the most responsible thing in the world but who cares? You only live once. I've definitely lived paycheck to paycheck and when I got extra money I used it to travel and enjoy life. If OP wants a wedding then I say go for it! Money comes and goes. Life is short so live it up!

Agree with Sass..dont live beyond your means if you cannot afford a wedding then you dont have one . The wedding should not bring financial hardship to anyone .

Actually, I said I know nothing about weddings anymore. Never said anyone else said that so don't understand how I'm putting words in anyone's mouth. I'm sorry my apology came across wrong. Now I know why I just lurk on places. I never come across right. I am sorry for saying the wrong thing. Please don't read anymore into my apology.

Are you listening to yourself Erin?

"So what you have no money in the bank?! Girl go ahead and have that wedding. So what you won't have enough money to pay your rent when you get back from the honeymoon, and now have to rely on asking friends or family if you can sleep on their couch. At least you have beautiful photos from the wedding! Live it up!"

"You only live once...."

Yea, and you want to live that life having anxiety because you don't know how you're going to afford to pay for necessities?

If you are living paycheck to paycheck, you don't spend thousands of dollars on a 5 hour party.

Who are we to talk about her finances?

We are people who have some fucking common sense.