Empty wedding fund woes

I've been to 3 weddings a year since I was 5 (I'm 39). None of them was cash bar (or dry). The only cash bar wedding I've heard of was one my mother went to 30 years ago, she still talks about how tacky it was.

I am so sorry this has happened! I think it's awesome your getting things to be under that $3k budget! Good for you!!!

We also are going a cash bar kind of. We are paying for some brinks but then it is a cash bar. I will say that soda, water and sweet tea are free. I do think this is a Midwest thing! (We are from Wisconsin). If it were me I would not worry about that! Good luck... keep your chin up... I am pulling for you!!!

You need to talk with your parents. You really shouldn't be planning when you don't know what your budget is.

Having a Monday wedding was a great idea to save money if it's just close family and a few friends! But like PP have said, please don't ask them to take off from work then not give them a beer. If you've found an affordable place, just change from the cash bar to the consumption bar. It's essentially a cash bar except you and your husband pick up the tab. If you don't have heavy drinkers, it's fairly cost effective.

It seems like you have a good handle on things if you're staying within your parents' budget for everything but your dress. Instead of buying new, have you asked family members about wearing theirs? Checked consignment stores? You can find pretty dresses for much less than new!

Why is the Midwest always lumped in with tacky wedding norms?

Please don't bait and switch your guests. If your guests don't drink too much, have a consumption bar. But please don't make them pay for their drinks.

Wait. So you only had $1650 in your bank accounts? Where was the rest of your money?

An adult having a couple of adult drinks at an adult event =/= getting sloshed

I agree. Either push the wedding back or have a very small reception and ceremony. It sounds like you two have enough stress as it is right now. No need to add more stress!

Dawn - the reception is to thank your guests for coming. You do not make them pull out their wallets. THAT is rude.

Good Lord I am not ready for the blizzard.

@Dawn-so you charge people for wine, beer and soft drinks when they come over for a dinner party at your house? Because a wedding is basically just a larger dinner party that you are hosting. If you cannot host properly, do not invite guests and elope.

And I've seen folks indulge when they do have to pay. Then again, I don't surround myself with broke ass people.

@Dawn-FH and I were at a party yesterday with an open bar. I had two glasses of wine and he had a beer. Wooo, that's us getting shitfaced right there, yessiree! Yeah-no. I did however, overindulgence in the delicious canapés and cheese plates!

Do not blame the Midwest for your tacky decisions. It did nothing to you and doesn't deserve your slandering.

All of this financial stuff is what should have been figured out well before January 2017. You cannot afford a wedding if car repairs (granted, they were big repairs) put you in the hole and you do not have savings to fall back on. Being able to *just* make a vendor payment does not in any way mean you are affording your wedding.

You need to push this back or scale it down. I can feel my blood pressure rising on your behalf at all the stress finances will be causing you in the next 6 months.

Dawn, lurk here a little bit more before posting. A reception is a way to thank your guest for paying for travel, a hotel (sometimes), a new outfit, taking time off of work (sometimes), paying for a babysitting, etc., to come to your wedding. So they indulge on a Saturday night? Someone better call the alcohol control. Adults can handle themselves, and if the alcohol is served by a licensed bartender (which it should be), they will cut off any guests when they feel like they've had enough. It's rude to make them pay for alcohol or anything at the wedding when they've already paid for so much to attend your wedding. Would you invite your friends and family over only to make them pay $5 a glass for some wine? I'd like to think not. Why wouldn't you do that? Because it's rude. You don't invite your friends over to host a part at your house and then require them to pay. I don't get why people don't make that connection to a wedding. OP, don't listen to Dawn.

Also, STOP LUMPING THE MIDWEST INTO AWFUL HOSTING AND CALLING IT A 'MIDWEST THING'. IT'S NOT A MIDEST THING.

Sorry, felt that yelling was necessary. Poor hosting is never a regional thing. It's a bad etiquette thing.

ETA: I'm so sorry you're having car problems!

Oh wow! I would think the wedding would cost $10,000 or more. Is there a way you can pick up more hours to increase your budget?

I wish you the best. If you have talked to your families and they are on board with the set up then I am not going to comment to the arrangements. Just a reminder to keep a steady head on your shoulders, sometimes when we try so hard to keep a plan we ignore signs of problems. I do wish you all the best and hope everything works out for you in the end.

I really think that you shouldn't get married until you are financially stable. That doesn't mean just able to have a wedding, but in a safe financial place overall. If fixing your car depletes your savings to the point of nothing being left, then there's a good chance that money is going to put a strain on your marriage if you go through with this now. And it sounds like your FH feels the same way.

Just put a pin in it for now. Be engaged, live together and save. Start planning when you can have a wedding and fix a car and neither will ruin you.

Yes, apparently I should have lurked a lot more before typing anything. Apparently I know nothing about weddings anymore. Sorry I ruffled anyone's/ everyone's feathers. Please don't tar me.

Also since when is Montana the Midwest?

@Dawn-I'm having a very small wedding so that I can properly host my guests with booze and food. Yes, that means less guests, but more yummy goodness and no one talking about what shitty hosts we are!