"By excluding our children, you have chosen to exclude us"...

@SandM, That is actually a GREAT idea! However, anyone we would trust will be at the wedding Unfortunately we don't have any experience with sitters ... Thank you for the idea

This sister is being a WITCH. That being said, would I fly that kind of distance without kids in tow, honestly probably not. I do not have kids, but I know it is a pain to find a 24/7 sitter sometimes. But on the flipside, I probably would not come that distance for a wedding anyway unless someone was paying for my travel.

But did she have to be an asshat? NO!!! She should have sent her "with regrets" and said "congrats". There was no need for her conjecture that has now probably put herself on the outs with you PERMANENTLY.

Care.com is also another option you could look into. You can check out profiles of sitters in your area and even do background checks if you want to. We also thought of going that route if the sitter we want isn't available (checking with her this weekend!)

To soften the blow, we told people ahead of time that we were having an adult only ceremony and reception. FH and I do not have kids and with the way everything is costing-if people can't respect the wishes of the bride/groom- oh well.

Jaclyn C, I love your response. You were respectful even tho she was not. Screw them! It's your wedding!

@Fluffy, considering that my son had to be at my sisters wedding since my entire family was at said wedding, I certainly get what you are saying. We never had anyone other than family watch him. However, OP's step sister lives with her in laws... hardly random strangers and the kids wouldn't even have to leave "home".

@OP, you wedding sounds soooo adorable! We have some wine bars here that look similar, super romantic and cute! Your response is so gracious and mature. A friend just told me a couple days ago "It is easier to let things go than it is to hold a grudge, isn't it?!" and she is so right! Good for you for being the bigger person

Now that you have said that your step-sister's family lives with the in-laws then she and her husband could definitely come to your wedding. Come on, Prince William and Kate left Prince George (who was 7 months old) with Kate's parents for a week while they went on vacation OUT OF COUNTRY. Not a big deal to leave a 9 and 11 year old with their grandparents for what, 3-4 days while they travel from Florida to New Jersey.

I am new to this site as of today.. Can someone tell me who "OP" is or what it stands for

Sorry for the silly question. Is that what my profile name comes up as?

Love,

THE WEDDING WIRE NEWBY (Jaclyn)

@Jaclyn and JK, that does change things IMO . . . now I think even more that she's out of line. I would definitely feel comfortable leaving kids that age with their grandparents for the weekend. I'm sorry you have to deal with so much crap from her :-/

OP stands for Original Poster (which is you lol)

OOOOOOOO..... "OP" I get it--- Makes COMPLETE sense!

I'm a first time blogger

While the note could have been left, I do see where she is coming from.

So sad...

@sarah, I used the word "recommendation" to mean having a trusted friend or family member give the name of a sitter they personally trust and vouch for.....so where you got Craig's list I have no idea.

@JK your response is wonderful, genuine, and I think perfect.

Wow! That was unnecessary! sheesh

I understand when its no children rule. I do know some people put only neice and nephew rule. I know i will be doing that for my renewal.

Now that we know she lives with in-laws that she could leave her kids with, she's even more inconsiderate. Ugh, I'm annoyed for you.

Also annoyed about all the posters that "see where she's coming from" and "agree with your step-sister"…why should OP have to have kids at her wedding?! Since when can we not choose the guests at our own wedding?? Sorry, but when you have kids you make the choice to potentially miss out on a lot of other stuff. Too bad, so sad.

Oh well they're excluded. Keep it moving.

To be fair, if she had just straight up said no on the RSVP I have a feeling you would have been shocked she wasn't coming. At least she gave you a reason.

Though she lives with her in laws who could watch the kids, most people don't get a ton of vacation days or have money to spend on extra trips. They probably thought they could kill two birds with one stone.

And for whoever said they doubted 9 and 11 year olds would be THAT bummed they couldn't come....my 12 year old cousin is the most excited person in my family about our wedding.

So true sunshine. When I invite you to a bar I'm not inviting your kids but I bet your quick to find a sitter then