"By excluding our children, you have chosen to exclude us"...

I think that her wording was way off. But i get where yur dilema is. For our wedding we are doing no kids except for immediate family. We have a small portion (4) kids who are in the immediate family category. We have set it up that the kids who are in the wedding (flower girl and ring bearer) will be there for ceremony and reeption but will leave with my future sister-in-laws sister (who is not going to be at the wedding) after dinner and a little dancing. That way it gives my FG's brother and wfe a chance to enjoy the wedding and partying as well. As for the other guests who have kids, sorry thats not somethng we want at the wedding.

Just as it was my choice to set it up this way, it is you choice, your wedding. I am sorr that she is upset but its not your problem. I think her note was rude!!!

From the point of view of a Mom, it would be very hard to travel to a wedding with your kids (if you couldn't leave them) and not be able to take them to the wedding. That being said, the note was inexcusably rude! She should have kept her lips zipped unless you asked her why she wasn't able to attend, and even then, there are endless ways of explaining their situation without be so horrid and just plain mean!

My wedding isn't even "no kids" and I've gotten nothing but flack from the people I've invited because the invitations weren't addressed saying "Mr. & Mrs. Blank AND FAMILY" I've had many ask if kids are welcome. If they weren't don't you think I'd put that on the invite? People read too deep into an address.

Simply stated, I am rendered speechless at the amount of drama a wedding can cause. I completely understand that everyone is entitled to their own opinion about what is supposed to be your wedding, but it is disturbing how many individuals go out of their way to force their agenda.

Cheers to the honeymoon, Ladies!!!!

That sounds like a beautiful reception, and I agree -- not one for any children! While I could not have a child-free wedding or reception, I totally respect your desire to do so, and so should everyone else. You may have other parents feel that way, as well, but if they really want to attend, they will find a way. In this day and age, it is NOT uncommon for parents to spend a weekend away from their children. We had quite a few kids at our wedding and reception and everything was very nice ... no crying during the ceremony and no problems at the reception with kids clogging up the dance floor; however, one of my observations was ... the parents WITH small children either left early and/or didn't participate in the dancing, which was so much fun. For receptions where there is great music and alcohol, I would prefer not to take my kids, if I had any. Either way, she was very rude in her response, and it was way out of line, even if she has a right to feel that way -- she should've just declined politely.

I didn't read the whole thing but will say I wouldn't assume because I live with my inlaws that 1. they want the kids for the weekend and 2. that I want them to have the kids for the weekend. I lived with my ex MIL when my youngest was little and honestly I wouldn't of left her with the baby for a weekend honestly. I also know many grandparents that make it very clear to the couples that they are not built in babysitters. So I wouldn't just assume. Of course I don't know the situation. I also would not want to travel out of state with out my kids even the thought of it for our honeymoon was hard (which we are not doing). I do feel you have a right to have the wedding you want. We wanted kid free too and for the most part it is. I personally felt that out of town guests were an exception to the rule so I accommodated it. Especially since two of the kids are the kids my FMIL is adopting. Kind of hard to say yeah, they can't come lol. I can really see and understand both sides. I will also say someone brought up her creditability of the kids being excited at the ages of the children that's very possible. My kids are very excited for our wedding and they are around those ages. It's the smaller ones that have a hard time with the ceremony the bigger ones I think can enjoy it more. My first wedding I went to I was 10 and I remember the ceremony was totally boring but totally had fun at ht reception. I think your reply to her was good though.

This all boils down to one thing; other people's children are a product of other people's choices and they are not your responsibility unless you choose to make them your responsibility. I'm not sure when the universe started to revolve around the needs and perceived desires of kids, but I can tell you when I grew up that simply wasn't on the radar. Adults did adult things without us all the time, and everyone was happy. No one would have dreamt of sending a letter like that.

Good for you for your gracious and appropriate reply.